So you think being a feline is all sunshine and rodents?
You think being a
cat means you lead a grand life? Of course, to a human, it looks alluring.
But strip away the glamour, and there is the dimmer side to life as a lynx.
For instance…
I get into Cat Fights. They are nasty. Imagine getting a patch of your hair pulled out of your body once a week.
Fighting is a territorial thing, I know, but I am not the instigator of the fights.
I just happen to be on KP (Kitty Patrol) and I cross someone's turf, or they cross mine, and POW, we are in a tussle.
It's usually the feral cats in the 'hood that stake out claims to property that is not theirs. Then again, I've got a turf war with Vixen, the black cat next door, which has been going on for years.
I have to beg for food. I hired humans to see to my every need.
Sometimes they get busy and forget to set out a fresh bowl of food.
For that, I have to rub against them, swat at their legs, or bite their ankles just to get their attention.
I have thought of holding a little cardboard sign at the bottom of the stairs that says, "Will work for food," but, then again, why give the satisfaction.
When they finally DO feed me, I have to eat on the floor.
Gimme a break! Humans get the table, the counter, the TV tray.
I get the cat dish on the floor, which is cleaned once a month â€" maybe.
At least the Mrs. Owner tries to make it bearable by putting a placemat under my dish. I get even by pulling chunks of food out of the bowl and leaving them on the floor to weld with the linoleum.
I have to walk around on the floor. AKA, the dirty floor.
Carpeting doesn't make it any nicer. In fact, carpeting is a dust magnet. I appreciate that it's vacuumed once a week. But a day later it's dusty again.
That's when they accuse me of being the reason it's dirty!
Okay, so I walk with dirty paws on the carpet every now and then.
And I shed a hair or two once in a while. We're even.
People want to pull my tail. Cats' tails are at full staff when they are happy little kitties. Humans think of it as an invitation to grab high when
I walk by.
It's fine if I am expecting it. If not, I want to take the hand off of the human who pulled it. Like yours.
I have to lick myself to bathe. You get a shower and rinse off with water
once a day.
I lick my thick fur with my tongue â€" and swallow the loose hairs!
And where (on our bodies) we often have to do this is not always pleasing. It's not a cat's favorite part of the day.
I use a litter box. No doors, no privacy. No way to flush when I am done.
And you make me cover it up when I am done. That's the lowest.
I am furry and cute. And because of that I get lots of hugs and nose-rubs.
And for that it was a good day.
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