A friend just returned from Iraq..
Im sure
he would help
the author
straighten
3 Dollar Bill's
nose also
Bob Johnson's 911 call regarding Bill Kristol
by Carnacki
Sun Jul 15, 2007 at 01:47:09 PM PDT
The following diary contains strong language, adult content, and scenes of implied, graphic violence. Those easily offended by the words fuck, bastard, son of a bitch, dick weed, Bill Kristol, George W. Bush, Iraq war, motherfucker, or the Weekly Standard are strongly advised to read no further and instead should hit the back button, turn off the computer, fix a nice cup of tea and try to forget the horror of this opening.
For the rest of you:
The official* transcript of Bob Johnson's 911 call regarding Weekly Standard editor and lead neoconman William "Bill" aka "Silly Billy" Kristol.
I suppose I'll merely expose myself to harmless ridicule if I make the following assertion: George W. Bush's presidency will probably be a successful one.
Let's step back from the unnecessary mistakes and the self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush administration. Let's look at the broad forest rather than the often unlovely trees. What do we see? First, no second terrorist attack on U.S. soil -- not something we could have taken for granted. Second, a strong economy -- also something that wasn't inevitable.
And third, and most important, a war in Iraq that has been very difficult, but where -- despite some confusion engendered by an almost meaningless "benchmark" report last week -- we now seem to be on course to a successful outcome.
Bob Johnson in my diary, A rant:
Dear Mr. Kristol,
If I see you, I will punch you in the nose.
Please, Mr Kristol, take this as a threat. If I run into you on the street, I will sock you in the beak. And gladly accept the consequences.
In fact, should I see you sauntering down the walk, I will take out my cellphone, dial 911, and tell the answering attendant, "Please come pick me up at [ADDRESS]. I am about to slug Bill Kristol in the nose."
Then I will walk up to you, call you a coward, a weasel and a "little fuck," and deliver a blow to your horn. You will crumple to the pavement, whining, crying, threatening suit, and clutching you now bleeding schnoz.
I will stand calmly by, telling all who pass by that I just punched William Kristol, war promoter extraordinaire, in the nose in honor of all who have persihed or been injured in Iraq.
Official* transcript of the 911 emergency center where Bob Johnson made his call (link unavailable):
Dispatcher: 911. What is your emergency?
Bob Johnson: Yes, my name is Bob Johnson. Please come pick me up at [address blocked to protect the identity of the restaurant]. I am about to slug Bill Kristol in the nose.
Dispatcher: Sir what is your emergency?
Bob Johnson: I told you. I am about to assault Bill Kristol, chickenhawk neoconman Bill Kristol. I am going to punch him in the nose. I thought you might want to know so you can send the police.
Dispatcher: Sir, do you think you'll need help slugging Bill Kristol in the nose?
Bob Johnson: Uh, no...I'm confused. Is this 911?
Dispatcher: Yes sir.
Bob Johnson: Shouldn't you be sending the police to arrest me after I hit the son of a bastard dickweed, George Bush suupporting Bill Kristol in the nose?
Dispatcher: Sir, I'm in the Army Reserves. I've served two tours already and was just notified my unit is being activated yet again. My cousin who is in Iraq just found out his wife is divorcing him because of the stress and strain on his family. A classmate of mine lost both of his legs and three of my friends died in combat on my last tour. The only way I am sending the police is if you need help to punch Bill Kristol in the nose. Then I'll send Sergeant Hall, whose wife is a nurse and is on her fourth tour.
Bob Johnson: No, I've got the nose punching part of it covered. I've got that more than covered.
Dispatcher: Then you don't have an emergency. Please do not call 911 unless you do. And sock the motherfucker once for me too.
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