You really are a dim bulb. Mutual Assured Destruction has deterred because, it works.
Let's say the U.S., the only power that has a nuclear arsenal comparable to Russia's, decides to launch a peremptory attack. The silos in the Great Plains open, each missile MIRVED with up to 3 warheads, the nuclear subs MIRVED with each missile of 8-12 warheads. (multiple independently targetable reentry vehicles.)
Launch!
Russian satellites pick up the launches, ascents and projected trajectories and confirm, no mistake. It's on, as they launch upon warning.
They understand that our response to their peremptory attack will be the same as theirs. So their threats are empty.
Get it?