Replies to post #431996 on Tornado Alley (PROG)

[fuagf]

When facts are obviously being ignored there is always some satisfaction to be gained in offering them up. If as expected the trolls take no notice that's ok, often there are others who do. Who knows, trolls may sometimes too. Perhaps some do, just choose not to let us in on their little secret. Facts do matter, of course. I know you know that you just don't see them as mattering if the one they are offered to seems to be uninterested. I think they matter even then.

And i wouldn't think it would be valid, wise, or justified in any way at all to arrive at any conclusions about a posters life based on their attitude towards a troll.

Insults don't have to always be seen as a negative.

Related: Worried About Swearing Too Much? Science Says You Shouldn't Be
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Five ways rudeness can actually be a positive experience

Published: October 18, 2019 11.20pm AEDT
Authors Dr Amy Irwin
Lecturer in Psychology, University of Aberdeen
Ceri T Trevethan
Lecturer in Psychology & Clinical Psychologist, University of Aberdeen

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The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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From swearing to insults, most of us have experienced rudeness in some form or another at work, out in public or online. Much of the research examining rudeness has focused on its negative effects and with good reason – there are plenty of them.

We know that rudeness is a stressor with adverse impact on well-being, job satisfaction and work performance, so you’d be forgiven for thinking that it is both insidious and a wholly negative experience. But surprisingly, our recent study into the experience of rudeness within a mental health context found that it can also be viewed positively, or at least used in a positive way.

We interviewed 18 mental health professionals (including counsellors, clinical psychologists, and rehabilitation and family support workers) to explore their experience of rudeness at work. We asked them to identify uncivil behaviour, discuss how they responded to it and consider their coping strategies. The results indicated that mental health workers experienced a range of behaviour they considered rude, from clients not turning up to appointments, to insults and swearing during sessions.

In addition to the negative impact this behaviour could have, interviewees reported that dealing with rudeness could also have a positive influence on both professional development and client relationships. This finding led us to explore this further – could the experience of rudeness have benefits as well as negative consequences in certain circumstances? Our investigation identified five potential positive aspects of rudeness.

1. Professional development

Mental health workers indicated that they thought the experience of dealing with rudeness could aid their personal development. Specifically, they felt they gained important insights into why some clients behaved rudely, and learned techniques to defuse or deal with rude behaviour. This led to increased confidence in their ability to work successfully with a range of clients. Viewing rudeness in this way aligns with the idea of stressors as challenges that can be used as learning opportunities.

The extent to which rudeness can be framed as a positive challenge is thought to be influenced by the attribution of the behaviour – in other words, why has someone acted in this manner? Did they intend to cause harm or did some external force prompt the behaviour?

Mental health practitioners in our study perceived that the rudeness was caused by the client’s illness, current situation or traumatic events from the past. Understanding the root cause enabled the practitioners to view the behaviour as part of the session and relationship development, rather than as an attempt to cause harm.

2. Enhancing resilience

Linked to the idea of interpreting rudeness as a challenge to be overcome is the development of enhanced coping mechanisms. Learning the skills required to develop emotional resilience .. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.11120/hsce.2014.00040 .. is increasingly seen as important in the helping professions.

More widely, recent research reports that challenge appraisals of rudeness at work were linked to higher levels of job satisfaction and increased learning. This links to the theory that exposure to challenging stressors at work can help people build resilience. This can, in turn, help workers to develop coping strategies and increase their self-confidence. Dealing successfully with rudeness at work could therefore have a positive impact on workers’ confidence and coping, potentially reducing the stress of similar interactions in the future.


Sometimes rudeness is displayed through humour which can bring people closer together. Shutterstock

3. Building relationships

Developing rapport and understanding is an important aspect of relationship building within and beyond the workplace. A strong rapport is an important aspect of therapeutic relationships .. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1447-0349.2007.00477.x , has been linked to better learning in peer-tutor relationships, and can reinforce solidarity within social groups.

Although many relationships begin with politeness, that decreases over time as exchanges become more informal and rapport grows. Later on, communication can include insults, name-calling and teasing – all designed to signal confidence in the relationship and an increasing level of trust.

4. Forming groups

Impoliteness, swearing and insults can also be a sign of group membership. This tends to occur within organisations where groups or sub-cultures develop, each of which can have defined linguistic rules, such as swearing for emphasis.

This type of social swearing or insults – sometimes referred to as “banter” – can function as a stress reliever and can make groups closer, even improving worker motivation and morale. But this can only occur where the organisational culture and leadership permits this type of behaviour.

5. Humour

In some of the examples above, the use of rudeness is acceptable because it is deemed humorous. The idea is not to cause harm but to make people laugh. Humour of this type can be a crucial part of an effective therapeutic process as well as relationship development. The important point is that this is mock rudeness, often directed at well-known figures, with the obvious intent of poking fun.

Although experiencing rudeness can often be upsetting and stressful, it is not always completely negative. In certain circumstances, it can actually improve and strengthen relationships. In terms of personal and professional development, it can also foster resilience and the capacity to cope confidently with difficult people.

https://theconversation.com/five-ways-rudeness-can-actually-be-a-positive-experience-125447

[DesertDrifter]

Do you not see how empty it makes peoples' lives seem?

So now you prefer that everyone share your outlook and motivations? I see many posters here whose lives are nowhere close to empty, so maybe you are projecting a bit? Remember, you are a participant here also, and if letting totally fabricated stuff stand without response gives you comfort, then you probably aren't going to be super comfortable most of the time. You think that we are not aware of when someone is trying to bait? Now YOU are the one being insulting.

The idea seems to be that your more thin-skinned view is that we should conform to your expectations. Good luck with that. If I see a magat shitposting, they hear about it. Gentle doesn't usually work because they typically do not understand subtlety and innuendo. You are not going to be able to do your filibuster response thing with me because I have heard your "oh so veiled" insults before, you believe you are so clever, but go ahead and babble on. Are you so bored that you have to get attention by criticizing the moderation? I have seen your exchanges with fuagf over the issue; your admonitions carry very little weight with me. Trying to say you were not criticizing the moderation is just lack of self-awareness.

I do not like doing this, as I generally agree with your politics, but lobbing expectations on us doesn't buy you much respect here. It is why the topic was off-limits when Mark was here... expectations become demands-- perhaps you could start your own board where everyone has to practice whatever type of politeness you wish, by your rules, and they could stay away if they choose to.