Your word salad, ironically using many offensive words gave me my morning chuckle. I thought to myself, why cannot this confused person condense his wanderings and get to the point?
Why not just list the words you want censored? George Carlin gave it a shot.
I realize that fundamentalists prefer rules of behavior, at least for people other than themselves, but to normal people, life is more gray, and colorful language often communicates nuance and emphasis that Webster's entries cannot.
Your obsession with anuses is bizarre, but not that uncommon, I guess.
If salty language is too much for you... it just reinforces your status as a coxcomb.
The art of the flame is mostly knowing when to use it effectively, and when not to. Triggering puritans is easy.