Replies to post #4846 on The Confessional

[teapeebubbles]

To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided
to call on some daily. One he selected was a young widow,
her husband, according to the index card, had died two
years ago.

After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young
lady with a baby in her arms.

He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I
was looking for the widow Smith."

"You've found her, Father," smiled the lady.

"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband
died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby
in her arms.

"That's correct, Father, he surely did--But I didn't."

[teapeebubbles]

Asus goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me
Father, for I have sinned."

"What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.

"Well," the man starts, "I used the 'F'-word today and
I feel so terrible."

"Why don't you tell me what happened. What made you
use such awful language?" asked the Priest.

"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible
drive that looked like it was going to go over 250
yards, but the ball hit a phone line hanging over the
fairway and fell straight down to the ground after
going about 100 yards."

"I'm a golfer myself my son" said the Priest "I
understand what you were feeling. So this is when you
swore?"

"No Father," said the man,

"You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes
and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."

"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again.

"No not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away,
this eagle came down out of the sky and grabbed the
squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed
Priest.

"No, not yet," replied the man, "Just as the eagle
was flying away with the squirrel he flew towards a
wooded area next to the green. And as he passed over
it, the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient
Priest.

"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree,
bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock,
and then rolled through a sand trap and on to the
green and stopped dead six inches from the hole!"
told the man.

The priest sighed, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't
you!!