Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to
you. We have some Texans up here in Heaven who are
causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates,
my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their
robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're
wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their
halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean.
There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over
the place. Some of them are walking around with just one
wing."
The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is
home to all my children. If you really want to know about
real problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a
minute."
The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What
can I do for you?"
The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of
problems you're having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on
something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone
and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having
down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this. Hold on,
Lord."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil
returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right
now. Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are
trying to install air conditioning."