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playstk

08/09/06 6:23 PM

#48519 RE: bobrainey300 #48517

Rainey - From?
You were born a poor black child in Tuscogee Alabama, and adopted at the age of 4 by a wealthy paperclip tycoon from Bosnia-Herzegovina. However, when Democracy toppled the Bosnian government, you were sold into slavery at the tender age of 12 and whisked away to a pineapple plantation in Hawaii. You labored there until you ran away at 17, at which time you travelled to the Northwest Territories in Canada, where you survived by inventing a crossbred variety of hemp and seaweed - allowing weed to be grown underwater. Unhappy with your wicked lifestyle, you gave away all your riches to a bar slut in Las Vegas Nevada, which is where you were saved by the Reverend Mario "Our Savior" Pinata, who then schooled you in the dark arts of penny stock manipulation. You worked hard at that trade until the age of 32, when a clever woman by the name of Bubbles convinced you that you were the father of her 7 children - in spite of the fact that you only knew her for less than 3 days. In horror, you fled to New York and became a "made" man when you appeared on the Regis Philbin show and frightened Kelly Ripa by staring at her tiddies while stroking your earlobe in a manner later described as "disgusting"


Several viewers of the TV program called in to the New York police department to report they were convinced you were the notorious "Peeking Pizza Delivery Boy" in and around the Queens district. While being fingerprinted prior to appearing in several police lineups, a fair maiden of ill-repute noticed your staggering hair loss and became entranced with your fake New York accent.... and proposed to you immediately. This was the perfect Yin for your Yank (grin) and you ran screaming from the station into a massive traffic jam that lasted 6 months. But the fair maiden tracked you down nonetheless, and beat you into submission. You were married in the 13th Precinct Jail, and 3 months later released into your wife's custody.

Since then, you have been a model citizen... the first - and perhaps the last - in the entire state of New York.

My tin foil hat seems to be blocking any additional information... probably because I cheated and used aluminum foil from 2 cartons of cigarettes. I'll get a much more detailed reading when the moon is full.