Replies to post #489 on Mr. Churak's Neighborhood (CHURAK)

[Churak]

During the invasion of Sicily in World War II, General George Patton was preparing to take the city of Palermo. He checked with his meteorologists and learned the day he had chosen would be incredibly rainy. So he issued an order to place copies of the New York 'Times' immediately beneath the tailgates of the transports carrying his troops. In this way the men could keep their feet dry.

His staff was mystified. Why the "Times"? Why not the New York "Daily News"? Patton was adamant, and one did not argue with the General.

As five tons of old copies of the "Times" were being loaded, the General issued one of his greatest quotes to the assembled war correspondents: "these are the 'times' that dry men's soles."

[fung_derf]

You just go to one of churak's posts and hit the ignore button. That should do it.

[Churak]

Once there was a King who was loved by all of his subjects, especially because of the hunting excursions he shared with them. As will happen, one day he died and his eldest son took the throne. Now this new king was an animal-lover to the core, and immediately outlawed all forms of hunting and fishing. His subjects accepted this for only a short time before they ousted him.

This is a truly significant event, because it's the first time a reign was called on account of the game.

[Churak]

Two guys were standing inside a building of a local theme park. They were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day. The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman who didn't weigh much, and she was having a rough time trying to not be blown away.

One guy joked with the lady, telling her that she would have to put heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.

The lady looked up and replied, "You mean, now I weigh me down to sweep?"

[Churak]

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door."

"Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

[Churak]

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse

[Churak]

LOWNUMBA walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm.

He says to the bartender, "One for me and one for the road."