Replies to post #480 on Mr. Churak's Neighborhood (CHURAK)

[Churak]

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.


nope...hehehehe

[Churak]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

[fung_derf]

Of the closet?

[Churak]

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

[Churak]

When Sisie told me I was average, she was just being mean.

[Churak]

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.

A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.

When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm."

[Churak]

These three strings are walking along, dying of thirst in the middle of Death Valley. After a long, long trek. They come to a bar.

"Boy, this is just in time...I can't go any farther." So he walks into the bar and orders a drink.

"Can't you read the sign there? We don't serve no strings here" bellows the bartender.

"But I'm going to die of thirst" protests the string.

With that the bartender picks him up, and throws him out into the street.

One of his buddies says "I'll disguise myself as a rope and go in to get us a drink." So, in he goes.

"Hey, I thought I told your friend that we don't serve your kind here. Now get out that door before I stomp on you!" So he quickly retreats out the door.

Finally the last string says "Hey, I've got an idea...I'll tie myself up like a pretzel, and frizzle out my ends, so he won't recognize me." So in he goes into the bar. He gets up to the bar and orders a drink.

The bartender eyes him a little suspiciously. "Hey, aren't you one of those strings I told to get out of here?"

To which the string answered "No, I'm a frayed knot."