Movie, Music, and TV Reviews

[occams_razor]

I saw "Hide and Seek" with Deniro and Dakota Fanning.

OK, for the first time in my life, I am going to use a 5 pickle scale and give the movie 0/5 pickles. 0/4 pickles doesn't express my disgust sufficiently. (I realize 0/4 = 0/5) but it seems lower.

Billed as another sixth sense, which was pretty good, this movie was just vastly annoying. I had figured out the story by the time the kettle boiled. Then the movie throws all this misdirection. Trying to make Dakota look like a suspect. Insinuating paranormal forces. MAking the real estate guy a suspect. Making the sheriff a suspect. Making the Grieving father neighbor a suspect. All buy having them make some creepy face when "no one is looking". Stupid daughter resents girlfriend of widower father subplot. Dreck.

Deniro mailed this one in and cashed his de riguer 8 figure check shamelessly. Dakota Fanning, who I thought was adorable (a bit too cutsie at times) in Man on Fire, was unimpired and creepy in a dull way. That year or two older took her way out of the cute little kid zone.

And the stupid ending! With that drawing. That is the most schlock ending I have ever seen. I wonder if they had 50 alternate endings and polled early release audiences to find the one that pissed them off the most. Worse than ending a movie "and then the little boy woke up".

Obviously a segue to a sequel. I would rather slide down a bannister that turns into a rusty razor wire and be plunged into a boiling vat of salted isopropyl alcohol and iodine than to watch any sequel. DeNiro should be commit ritualitic suicide if he had any pride. I thought meet the parents movies were dull.

0/5 pickles.