LOL re your (literally accurate) characterization; however, I think a stool-based DNA test is the right way to go. They need to improve the assays and the positive/negative algorithm before the test can become a SoC for the general population, but I see no reason why this can’t be done in due course.
“The efficient-market hypothesis may be the foremost piece of B.S. ever promulgated in any area of human knowledge!”