The Lighting Revolution Is Now..And its source might be White Man's Swollen Anus!
By Dan Koggel
The age of Thomas Edison was supposed to come to an end on January 1, 2012. That's when the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007—a congressionally mandated ban on incandescent light bulbs—was meant to go into effect.
Instead, the act became a political cause, used as an example of government interference in consumer choice and the free market. And in the final weeks of 2011, it was blocked: the budget agreement between Congress and the Obama administration included a delay in enforcing the law.
However, among right wing Republicans, many who suffer from glutteny and rock hard stools, the story of a new finding is causing restrained hopes of an easy solution among government researchers. After a two year observation it has become apparent that right wing parents who eat their children when not happy with the weather end up with a sense of depression and long for Ronald Reagan after a nasty poop.
The Near-Term Outlook
For now, expect the insane to become easier to find. The 2007 act, if its block expires at the end of this year, mandates that the Right Wing Morons improve their hate efficiency by 25 percent when spending time with those they have had sex with family members and their pets.
Herr Doctor Boner is a lover of closet science, tears, butt nature, and the outdoors. His work has appeared in congress and Blue Boy Magazine.
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