The Jailhouse

[Danl]

Is it worth it?...It be...

(Oh, and kvetch..all I see is your top line..you're spamming otherwise..)

TruthORFiction/FactORFiction/Cassandra wrote:


Dear Gawd, Are they laughing with me? Or are they laughing at me? Can you help?

Dear Cassandra,

I realise that you have had a hard time since your fall from stardom. Indeed, there were even reports that you had deliberately drowned yourself out of despair. I can see how you must be wondering whether your fears are due to paranoia induced by the inevitable excesses that come as part and parcel of life as the most famous aquatic mammal in the world.I am afraid, however, that this is not the case. Your paranoia is utterly justified.

They are all laughing at you, and ridiculing you behind your back. I suggest you go to one of the many outlets for surveillance equipment and purchase various cameras, transmitters and recording bugs. You should place these in the homes (particularly cameras in showers) of your "friends," then withdraw from social life and spend all your time in solitude monitoring their activities. You will undoubtedly find evidence of countless plots against you.

I would suggest that you procure large quantities of amphetamines to enable you to maintain a 24-hour vigil, listening to your receivers and straining your eyes at fuzzy surveillance monitors. If you dare to sleep, you will almost certainly miss several vitally important plots against you. You will also be leaving yourself open to the threat of assassination. Place a dummy in your bed to fool any would-be assassin, and surround yourself with samurai swords with which to dice any intruder.

After a couple of weeks without sleep, on constant vigil, you will realise the truth of the deadly plots against you. Around now, having entered a higher state of awareness, you may begin to be aware of the insects crawling around inside your veins, that THEY have put their to torture you. You may begin to become aware of the way they manipulate your thoughts and actions, and of the possibility that it is all part of a huge sinister government experiment. You may even, if you are lucky, begin to be able to hear them instructing you, telling you to do bad things.

I suggest you embark upon this course of action immediately. If you do not, they will crush you mercilessly.

I hope that this improves your quality of life

Regards,

Gawd

Night folks..ROFLMAO..been a fun day!