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My New ETF<ROFL>!!! "TURD"

I have some unreal news. I am launching my new ETF portfolio on Monday. I filed all the necessary paperwork this morning and have been approved. It is oversubscribed already and being floated by Lehman. They said I was low risk and told me I was dumber then a bag of hammers so I went with them immediately. I was told they are a good firm too.

I did my road show by phone this morning and found out I'm not regulated so I got a lot of money fast. I can do anything I want and call it what I want. I finally have the freedom to believe in me and believe int the market. I raised $230,000 dollars! Imagine what I can get for that.

After much thought, thirty minutes total, I decided to call my brand new ETF fund, TURD. It doesn't stand for anything other than what it means but is unique. The way I see it, there is no way anyone would know what they are holding in TURD because the symbol is somewhat unusual. Also, TURD is my own version of the CANDIES that gets pumped daily on Mad Money. That bald guy who rolls up his sleeves and spits a lot is so cool. Don't you agree with me? I thought so. Thank me later.

Next I had to decide what to place in TURD. Again, after thinking hard for ten minutes, I picked up a copy of Investors Business Daily and saw these letters on the front page. The ten symbols I decided to place in TURD are AAPL, AMZN, EyeBM, NFLX, CMG, CRM, BIDU, GOOG, AZO, and PCLN . My TURD was priced it at the close on Friday. The deal for me was I had to put my money where my mouth is and I had to buy my own TURD. I joined the movement. I will send you a pin like this one I got. I thought this was worth it by itself.


In order for you to participate in TURD, you have to buy 100 shares of each issue and I will put it in a pot for you. At the end of each week I will value TURD for you after Friday's close. TURD will do one of three things. One, get flushed. Two, swirl around and go nowhere. Or three, the TURD splits in half and you get two TURDS for one. You can not sell once you buy for one week, so this is only for long term investors. I think that is fair, don't you? You can release your TURD proceeds by phone on Saturday or continue to hold the TURD for another week.

After six months, I will close this TURD and open a new TURD. Isn't this awesome?

What's it going to cost me you ask? Well I think this is a steal here as do all the analysts and pundits on CNBS. You end up owning 100 shares of each TURD component for a small initial investment $223,702 dollars. You get 10 symbols and numbers to follow. Not sold yet? You then get one giant TURD. Look at some of these bargains you are getting. The selling is way overdone.

I'm sure this has enticed you to say, "Hey, I want in now. This is the cheapest I have seen the market in thirty years!!" Am I right? Well you can own a little piece of the TURD for only a quarter of a million dollars and get in on the ground floor. Hurry, don't be late. First update will be next week.

If you can't afford a TURD, you can paper trade along with me and have fun.
Remember: IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A TURD-GO LAY IN THE YARD!

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