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Monday, 08/09/2010 10:32:27 AM

Monday, August 09, 2010 10:32:27 AM

Post# of 23086
Doublespeak from the one and only George Carlin

On Language

http://www.scribd.com/doc/2525803/George-Carlin-On-Language

You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth. I don't like words that hide
the truth. I don't like words that conceal reality. I don't like euphemisms or
euphemistic language. And American english is loaded with euphemisms. Because
Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble
facing the truth, so they invent a kind of a soft language to protect themselves
from it. And it gets worse with every generation. For some reason it just keeps
getting worse.

I'll give you an example of that. There's a condition in combat. Most people know
about it. It's when a fighting person's nervous system has been stressed to it's
absolute peak and maximum, can't take any more input. The nervous system has
either snapped or is about to snap. In the first world war that condition was
called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables. Shell shock.
Almost sounds like the guns themselves. That was 70 years ago. Then a whole
generation went by. And the second world war came along and the very same combat
condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to
say. Doesn't seem to be as hard to say. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell
shock...battle fatigue.

Then we had the war in Korea in 1950. Madison Avenue was riding high by that time.
And the very same combat condition was called Operational Exhaustion. Hey we're up
to 8 syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed completely out of the
phrase now. It's totally sterile now. Operational Exhaustion: sounds like
something that might happen to your car. Then of course came the war in Vietnam,
which has only been over for about 16 or 17 years. And thanks to the lies and
deceit surrounding that war, I guess it's no surprise that the very same condition
was called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Still 8 syllables, but we've added a
hyphen. And the pain is completely buried under jargon. Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder.

I bet you, if we'd still been calling it shell shock, some of those Vietnam veterans
might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I bet you that.
But it didn't happen. And one of the reasons is because we were using that soft
language, that language that takes out the life out of life. And it is a function
of time it does keep getting worse.

Give you another example. Sometime during my life toilet paper became bathroom
tissue. I wasn't notified of this. No one asked me if I agreed with it. It just
happened. Toilet paper became bathroom tissue. Sneakers became running shoes.
False teeth became dental appliances. Medicine became medication. Information
became directory assistance. The dump became the land fill. Car crashes became
automobile accidents. Partly cloudy became partly sunny. Motels became motor
lodges. House trailers became mobile homes. Used cars became previously owned
transportation. Room service became guest room dining. Constipation became
occasional irregularity.

When I was a little kid if I got sick they wanted me to go to a hospital and see
the doctor. Now they want me to go to a health maintenance organization. Or a
wellness center to consult a health care delivery professional. Poor people used
to live in slums. Now the economically disadvantaged occupy sub-standard housing
in the inner cities. And they're broke! They're broke. They don't have a negative
cash flow position. They're f--kin' broke! Because a lot of them were fired. You
know, fired. Management wanted to curtail redundancies in the human resources
area. So many people are no longer viable members of the work force.

Smug, greedy well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins.
It's as simple as that. The CIA doesn't kill people anymore, they neutralize
people, or they depopulate the area. The government doesn't lie, it engages in
disinformation. The pentagon actually measures radiation in something they call
sunshine units. Israeli murderers are called commandos. Arab commandos are called
terrorists. Contra killers are called freedom fighters. Well if crime fighters
fight crime and fire fighters fight fire what do freedom fighters fight? They
never mention that part of it to us, do they?

And some of this stuff is just silly. We know that. Like when the airlines tell us
to pre-board. What the hell is pre-board? What does that mean? To get on before
you get on?

They say they're going to pre-board those passengers in need of special assistance
...cripples! Simple honest direct language. There's no shame attached to the word
cripple I can find in any dictionary. In fact it's a word used in Bible
translations. "Jesus healed the cripples." Doesn't take seven words to describe
that condition. But we don't have cripples in this country anymore. We have the
physically challenged. Is that a grotesque enough evasion for you? How about
differently-abled? I've heard them called that. Differently-abled! You can't even
call these people handicapped anymore. They say: "We're not handicapped, we're
handy capable!" These poor people have been bullsh-tted by the system into
believing that if you change the name of the condition somehow you'll change the
condition. Well hey cousin ... doesn't happen!

We have no more deaf people in this country. Hearing impaired. No more blind
people. Partially sighted or visually impaired. No more stupid people, everyone
has a learning disorder. Or he's minimally exceptional. How would you like to told
that about your child? 'He's minimally exceptional.' Psychologists have actually
started calling ugly people those with severe appearance deficits. It's getting so
bad that any day now I expect to hear a rape victim referred to as an unwilling
sperm recipient!

And we have no more old people in this country. No more old people. We shipped
them all away and we brought in these senior citizens. Isn't that a typically
American twentieth century phrase? Bloodless. Lifeless. No pulse in one of them. A
senior citizen. But I've accepted that one. I've come to terms with it. I know
it's here to stay. We'll never get rid of it. But the one I do resist, the one I
keep resisting, is when they look at an old guy and say, "Look at him Dan, he's
ninety years young." Imagine the fear of aging that reveals. To not even be able
to use the word old to describe someone. To have to use an antonym.
And fear of aging is natural. It's universal, isn't it? We all have that. No one
wants to get old. No one wants to die. But we do. So we con ourselves. I started
conning myself when I got in my forties. I'd look in the mirror and say, "Well...I
guess I'm getting ...older." Older sounds a little better than old, doesn't it?
Sounds like it might even last a little longer. I'm getting old. And it's okay.
Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won't have to die. I'll pass
away. Or I'll expire, like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital
they'll call it a terminal episode. The insurance company will refer to it as
negative patient care outcome. And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say
it was a therapeutic misadventure.

I'm telling ya, some of this language makes me want to vomit.
Well, maybe not vomit ...makes me want to engage in an
involuntary personal protein spill."

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