Tornado Alley (PROG)

[StephanieVanbryce]

I interviewed for a job at British Petroleum today...

by An Army Veteran
Fri Jun 18th 2010, 04:02 PM

There's a BP office less than 45 minutes away so I thought I would apply for a job there. The interview went better than I thought. Here is a transcript of my interview:

I walked into the interviewer's office and sat down.

BP Interviewer: Hello.

Me: Hello.

BP Interviewer: What is your name?

Me: I'm afraid I can't recall that.

BP Interviewer: Why did you decide to work for British Petroleum?

Me: I was not part of that decision making process.

BP Interviewer: How many years of experience do you have?

Me: I'm afraid I can't recall that number.

BP Interviewer: Can you tell me what your education level is and what degrees you have?

Me: I can't recall that at the moment.

BP Interviewer: Do you have any experience with an oil company?

Me: I can't answer your question in that format.

BP Interviewer: What are your goals with the company?

Me: I don't know.

BP Interviewer: Do you know what an oil well is?

Me: I can't recall that either.

BP Interviewer: Do you know what position you are applying for with the company?

Me: I can't possibly know what basis that decision was taken.

BP Interviewer: I see you were fired in your last job, can you tell me why?

Me: Im sorry, I was not involved in that decision making process.

BP Interviewer: Well thank you for your time and your honesty. Because of the open way you replied to my questions I believe the only position in our company you are qualified to hold is Chief Executive Officer. Would you be able to start Monday?

Me: I'm afraid I can't answer that.

BP Interviewer: Well, very good. Our offer is six million a year with stock options and perks. Here is a check for five million for your sign up bonus. Can we expect you to show up on Monday?

Me: I'm sorry but I am not privy to any information regarding the details of that requirement.

BP Interviewer: Very well, welcome to British Petroleum Mr. CEO.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/AnArmyVeteran/991