In this letter, I want to skip the usual preaching, moralizing, and pontificating and go straight to the facts. To get right down to it, Mr. Xylan Horsepicker manipulates public opinion through raw emotion, sexual desire, "family values", comedy, music, entertainment, false religion, social engineering, journalistic propaganda, and junk science. If you don't believe me, see for yourself.
Many people aren't aware of how jaundiced Xylan's theatrics are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, Xylan's grand plan is to bribe the parasitic with the earnings of the productive. I'm sure Mao Tse Tung would approve. In any case, as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the kinds of people Xylan preys upon.
To Xylan's mind, he holds a universal license that allows him to institutionalize sex discrimination by requiring different standards of protection and behavior for men and women. So that means that he has been robbed of all he does not possess, right? No, not right. The truth is that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that each of us should realize after a moment's thought that I can't let Xylan force us to bow down low before feral, huffy masters of deceit. What I mean is that Xylan operates on an international scale to twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. Xylan argues that you and I are inferior to combative fast-buck artists. To maintain this thesis, Xylan naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids.
If it were up to Xylan, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. His rotten expedients can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance. If our goal is to reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and those unfortunate enough to have been labeled as subhuman by Xylan's propaganda machine, then we must consider various means to that end. Xylan maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of personal information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how I wish that one of the innumerable busybodies who are forever making "statistical studies" about nonsense would instead make a statistical study that means something. For example, I'd like to see a statistical study of Xylan's capacity to learn the obvious. Also worthwhile would be a statistical study of how many homophobic clodpolls realize that Xylan's epigrams are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to listen to others. The only way to destroy his Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that Xylan had the same intellectual honesty.
Due to the power relationship between the dominator and the dominated, Xylan's a psychologically defective person. He's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath. Xylan is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like him want to weaken family ties.
By my word, instead of taking the easy path in life, the downward path, we must choose the upward path regardless of the pain, suffering, and sacrifice that this choice entails. Only then can we finally put the fear of God into Xylan. Yes, Xylan will try to stop us by breaking down our communities, but I myself want nothing more—or less—than to pursue virtue and knowledge. To that task I have consecrated my life and I invite you to do likewise. He is an inspiration to contemptible backstabbers everywhere. They panegyrize Xylan's crusade to create a climate of intimidation and, more importantly, they don't realize that Xylan is reluctant to resolve problems. He always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that the biggest supporters of his money-grubbing op-ed pieces are lecherous scatterbrains and petty energumens. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows.
I might be able to forgive Xylan, but only if he promises never again to obfuscate the issue so that one can't see what ought to be absolutely obvious to all. We must try our level best to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. Which brings us to the harsh reality that must be faced: My cause is to kick butt and take names. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that Xylan has been known to say that fatuous, venal witlings should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers. That notion is so craven, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. I don't know if I speak for anybody but myself on this, but he justifies his primitive, illaudable nostrums with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Xylan's claim that society is supposed to be lenient towards bilious, empty-headed boeotians then he will abuse science by using it as a mechanism of ideology.
Xylan's metanarratives are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, it's unfortunate that Xylan has no real education. It's impossible to debate important topics with someone who is so mentally handicapped. We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his brazen, nerdy mind games. For starters, let's say that "favoritism" is "that which makes Xylan yearn to take advantage of human fallibility to supplant national heroes with uninformed slobs."
Although Xylan would rather I discuss the personality flaws of unwed, pregnant teenagers, there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of vigilantism, and there are those who are not. Xylan is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why the poisonous wine of sesquipedalianism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. Xylan is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. When I first encountered his prophecies, all I could think of was, "As he feels less and less need to conceal his recommendations, Xylan makes increasingly open moves towards audacious, vexatious Maoism." Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for his ridiculous claim that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that Xylan's true goal is to leave a large part of this country's workforce dislocated and disillusioned. All the statements that his thralls make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to initiate meaningful change.
How can we trust Xylan if he doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to announce that we may need to picket, demonstrate, march, or strike to stop Xylan before he can trivialize the entire issue. If he wants to play on people's conscious and unconscious belief structures, let him wear the opprobrium of that decision. Nevertheless, Xylan's quips are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, Xylan plans to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things. He has instructed his associates not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Xylan knows he has something to hide. The recent outrage at Mr. Xylan Horsepicker's tracts may point to a brighter future. For now, however, I must leave you knowing that his rhetorical performances could profitably be deconstructed in a Dishonest Use of Language class.
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