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Pope thought condoms were plastic carry bags?

The Analyst
Thursday, 26 March 2009 17:52

VATICAN, March – The Pope thought condoms were plastic carry bags which Africans throw around everywhere after use, a spokesman has said. Apologising on the Pope’s behalf for remarks the pontiff made during his recent visit to Africa, the spokesman, who only identified himself as Archbishop Emma Milingo, said that the Pope had misunderstood what constitutes condoms in Africa.

Just before a recent trip that took him to Cameroon and Angola, Pope Benedict XVI was quoted as saying that HIV/AIDS was “a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem”. The Pope reportedly said that the answer to HIV/AIDS lay in “spiritual and human awakening”.

The remarks kicked up a storm, with many observers saying that the Pope’s remarks were short-sighted and not based on facts.

The apology from the self-styled Vatican spokesman, Archbishop Milingo, seems to confirm that the Pope didn’t know what he was talking about.

“In all his pomposity, the Pope didn’t read up on the use of condoms in Africa before his trip. He assumed that since Africans are God’s poorest creatures, they can’t afford real condoms, so they must be using plastic shopping bags as condoms, which they then throw around everywhere endangering the environment. The Pope’s comments were aimed at protecting the environment, not condemning Africans to AIDS,” said Milingo.

“The fact that His Holiness has never actually seen a condom obviously didn’t help matters much,” he added.

The Vatican spokesman said that he had been “quietly” telling the Pope to “loosen up” so that he can understand what goes on in the world of his billions of followers.

“Anyway, he is really, really sorry about the whole condom thing,” Archbishop Milingo, who has a Korean companion, said.

The Analyst was unable to confirm whether Archbishop Milingo is indeed the Vatican’s official spokesman as he claims.

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Copyright 2009 The Weekly Observer

http://www.observer.ug/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2695 [with (some seriously clueless) (. . .) comments]