To use an analogy: there's a cab on a streetful of cabs. You've been in that cab for a year as the inept driver veered around erratically - causing accidents, smashing into things, damaging people and property- all the time hanging on for dear life in extreme terror. You finally manage to escape bruised, battered and traumatized but with your life.
Here comes that particular cab and driver around the block again: you plan on jumping in?
All that is needed to make a happy life is within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Marcus Aurelius