When I walked out of Walmart this morning I saw a tall guy hit a short chubby guy over the head with a rolled up newspaper. They looked familiar, so I edged a bit closer. It was Bud Abbott and Lou Costello! They were talking. I listened.
Abbott: You drag me to Walmart, you're in there for half an hour and you bought nothing?
Costello: I didn't wanna buy anything.
Abbott: What's the matter with you? Don't you know we're in a recession and the government wants you to spend your money?
Costello: We're in a recession?
Abbott: Yes we're in a recession. A serious recession.
Costello: Oh.
Abbott: Oh? That's all you can say?
Costello: What do you want me to say?
Abbott: I want you to say that you're going back in and spend your money.
Costello: Why should I spend my money?
Abbott: To help your government. Don't you know that your government is in a pickle?
Costello: Why are they in a pickle?
Abbott: Because we're in a recession and they want everyone to spend their money so we can get out of the recession.
Costello: Oh.
Abbott: So are you going to go back into Walmart and spend your money?
Costello: No.
Abbott: No? You don't want to help your government? They need your money.
Costello: Last year the government told me I was spending too much, we were in a bubble and I shouldn't spend it, I should save it. Now they say we're in a recession and they want me to spend it.
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: What's right?
Abbott: You should spend it.
Costello: Hey, I wasn't born yesterday. Let them spend it.
Abbott: Who?
Costello: Who? Didn't we have this talk a long time ago? Wasn't he on first?
Abbott hits him on the head with his rolled up newspaper.
Abbott: What's the matter with you? Don't you know that your government is spending every dollar they have?
Costello: Really?
Abbott: Yes! And they care so much about you that they went and spent another 750 billion that they didn't have.
Costello: No!
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now wait just one minute. How could they spend 750 billion if they didn't have it?
Abbott: They got it.
Costello: Oh. So where'd they get get it?
Abbott: They got it, that's all.
Costello: They didn't get it from me. They didn't get it from you.
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: They stole it!
Abbott: What's the matter with you. Do you think your government would steal from you? Say you're sorry.
Costello: I'm sorry. So where did they get it?
Abbott: They printed it.
Costello: Oh, I was worried there for a minute.
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