Matt's so unsophisticated, when we were on the train to Paris, he looked outside near Calais saw an exit sign and said "Looks like we're in 'Sortie' now."
And in a wonderful restaurant in London by Tower Bridge, he was perusing the dessert menu (of course) and asked loudly what "Blonk Monge" is.
Matt's such a lightweight he drinks pints at a German restaurant.
Matt once told me over 6 years ago that my efforts to produce ad revenues were wasted efforts and that ad income would never amount to anything. I've been slapping him silly with money ever since.
Most of my own considerable heft must be muscle since I've been carrying The Fatt One around on my coattails for so long. (this is a roast, right?)
I had a driving school student a couple of events ago who really was a spitting image of Matt. Poor guy.
The way people make fun of Matt's love of KKD's has strong basis in fact. The first time I met him, when he came out to Boogerville, he made me drive 40 miles to the nearest Krispy Kreme and he was as excited as a kid at a candy store when he saw the "Hot" sign was on. He looked positively orgasmic with each bite. Of the donuts. In fact, he had one box of them under the table for about 10 seconds (Valerie tells me that's about right) and when he put them back on the table I commented "I don't remember ordering glazed..."
Matt got a metric ass-ton of money for his share of iHub when ADVFN bought us, yet he is still very interested in penny stocks. You can take the cracker out of the trailer park but...
What's the difference between Matt and the Animal Control guy trying to round up a dozen dogs? Well, the Animal Control guy is a Mutt Buncher...
What's the difference between Matt and a 6-foot high pile of elephant crap? Really. What's the difference?
Oh, when we were in Vegas, real men like, well, every male but Matt, were spending their time gambling and drinking. While Matt was at a Celine Dion concert. Seriously.
Let me die in my sleep like my uncle; not screaming like his passengers.
