AI
Saturday, June 23, 2007 8:33:51 AM
O/T... Badge
I just have a 17 year old, however, he has many friends that grew up with him and also a cousin, my nephew, like bro's, all of em are. They are at my house all the time and i mean all the time and many call me dad
What i have taught all of them over the years, ah, they have taught me as well. When one of them would get bored, they would instigate the other into nit picking verbal match, why?. What else is there to do, they simply push each others buttons to get a reaction, then what you have is verbal pong that escalates into a shouting match or constant digs, silly. I tell the boys that you are a loser to allow the other to get the reaction from you because that is what they were after and you let them win by going back and forth, i found myself falling into this on this board with just one poster, think about that, just one out of many posters, why?.
I have taught the boys what is going on and best to ignore this, you fall to the level of immaturity of the instigator and i hope that as they mature, all of these lecture's have born fruit now as that are 16-18 years of age and they are more socialable and open mined to accept others points of view. They understand other individuals better and their petty reasons for doing what they do and to just simply ignore it. Having an undertanding why people do this, you know what your dealing with. In addition, i am sure you have had many in your life that have boasted abut their intellect, their sexual prowness or brag of financial matters. You will find that psycholgical studies have been done that indicate that these individuals are insecure with themselves, developed as they were growing up as a child they were lacking confidence in who they were relative to their peers. They look for things to standout among their peers and whether that is their appearance, clothes, hair styles or materials, be it the a bike as a kid or a car as a teen to have the best cool car, a "show" peice, these materials were their subsitute for their inadequecies.
The same applies with name calling, putting others down with sarcasm or humiliation, simply an attempt to make up for what they lack by projecting themselves in opposite fashion. The more inadequet they feel about themselves, they will increase name calling and saracasm in an attempt to rise above, or atleast in an attempt to think " i am better than you ". How can you see this, is simple, through their communications that continue to show that they got to have not only the last word, but need to show an audience and this can go on for sometime until they think they have got their point driven home to all that will listen that they are "better" than you. These type of people that hold deep seated insecurity, it bubbles to the surface in moments of stress and anger and are prone to hold grudges for extreme periods of time. You can easily identify these individuals during a one on one argument, these types will solicit others, or insert other names as their pathetic means of supporting their statements that they are right and the more the better, so it says to them, i am right because Jim, Pete, Sam and Jeff, we are all on the same page. It is simply used to support in their mind the " i am right " and you are wrong mentality, they will not see other's differences of opinions and develop narcissism.
Myself, i have learned a lot from my son and his friends, he may have been the only child, but he has pleanty of brothers :)
By the way, 3 of the boys, including my son will be attaining their black belt in the art of Ninjitsu, their Sensei happens to be an Ex Cop that spent years on the Detroit Force and is now a Federal Prosecutor in Madison, he does this in the evenings at his dojo in his home.
Have a great weekend.
I just have a 17 year old, however, he has many friends that grew up with him and also a cousin, my nephew, like bro's, all of em are. They are at my house all the time and i mean all the time and many call me dad
What i have taught all of them over the years, ah, they have taught me as well. When one of them would get bored, they would instigate the other into nit picking verbal match, why?. What else is there to do, they simply push each others buttons to get a reaction, then what you have is verbal pong that escalates into a shouting match or constant digs, silly. I tell the boys that you are a loser to allow the other to get the reaction from you because that is what they were after and you let them win by going back and forth, i found myself falling into this on this board with just one poster, think about that, just one out of many posters, why?.
I have taught the boys what is going on and best to ignore this, you fall to the level of immaturity of the instigator and i hope that as they mature, all of these lecture's have born fruit now as that are 16-18 years of age and they are more socialable and open mined to accept others points of view. They understand other individuals better and their petty reasons for doing what they do and to just simply ignore it. Having an undertanding why people do this, you know what your dealing with. In addition, i am sure you have had many in your life that have boasted abut their intellect, their sexual prowness or brag of financial matters. You will find that psycholgical studies have been done that indicate that these individuals are insecure with themselves, developed as they were growing up as a child they were lacking confidence in who they were relative to their peers. They look for things to standout among their peers and whether that is their appearance, clothes, hair styles or materials, be it the a bike as a kid or a car as a teen to have the best cool car, a "show" peice, these materials were their subsitute for their inadequecies.
The same applies with name calling, putting others down with sarcasm or humiliation, simply an attempt to make up for what they lack by projecting themselves in opposite fashion. The more inadequet they feel about themselves, they will increase name calling and saracasm in an attempt to rise above, or atleast in an attempt to think " i am better than you ". How can you see this, is simple, through their communications that continue to show that they got to have not only the last word, but need to show an audience and this can go on for sometime until they think they have got their point driven home to all that will listen that they are "better" than you. These type of people that hold deep seated insecurity, it bubbles to the surface in moments of stress and anger and are prone to hold grudges for extreme periods of time. You can easily identify these individuals during a one on one argument, these types will solicit others, or insert other names as their pathetic means of supporting their statements that they are right and the more the better, so it says to them, i am right because Jim, Pete, Sam and Jeff, we are all on the same page. It is simply used to support in their mind the " i am right " and you are wrong mentality, they will not see other's differences of opinions and develop narcissism.
Myself, i have learned a lot from my son and his friends, he may have been the only child, but he has pleanty of brothers :)
By the way, 3 of the boys, including my son will be attaining their black belt in the art of Ninjitsu, their Sensei happens to be an Ex Cop that spent years on the Detroit Force and is now a Federal Prosecutor in Madison, he does this in the evenings at his dojo in his home.
Have a great weekend.
Discover What Traders Are Watching
Explore small cap ideas before they hit the headlines.
