I too have perfected a device to warp the time dimension. Unfortunately it has trapped me in an inescapeable time sphere 5 minutes delayed behind you. I know this to be true because when I try to follow you into a trade I keep finding out I should have done that 5 minutes ago.
I really don't know why I am writing this to you because I know it will always be 5 minutes behind you and you will never receive it.