Blackout Media Corp (BKMP)

[bampabruce]

OT Harry, I know you always like a good one. So here is todays chuckle.


Ireland Declares War on France

Jacques Chirac, the French President, is sitting in his office when his
telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This
is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Mayo, Ireland. I am ringing you to
inform you that we are officially declaring war on you and your country."

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me
Cousin Sean, me next-door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from
the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army,
waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again, "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" !

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asks. "Well, we have two
combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000
since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get
back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war's still
on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us, as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Chirac, I'm sorry to inform you that we've had to call off the war."

"Really? I'm sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "We had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and
decided there's no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners!