Tornado Alley (PROG)

[arizona1]

right now, there are about 55 people in America who are having the worst weekend of their lives.

imagine you’re one of them. you’re at home, trying desperately to relax, and your phone rings. you sigh, because on the other end is a certain shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach. you can hear the screaming before you can even get the phone to your ear.

“god damn it, you fucking fuck, you better fucking vote for me. I will make your life miserable. I will come to your house. I will fuck you up. I will eat your fucking face. that’s right, your face. fuck you, you fucking fuck, I will make you wish you never fucking met me.”

you hang up the phone. it starts ringing again.

why is this happening to you? because you are one of the 55 House Republicans who won’t vote for Jim Jordan to be Speaker of the House.

Jimmy Jords has a problem. he wants to be Speaker of the House, but he doesn’t have the votes.

But on a second ballot asking simply whether G.O.P. lawmakers would support the Ohio Republican if the speaker nomination went to the floor, 55 still said no.

about 18 of the 55 holdouts have a very good reason for not voting for Jordan — it would be political suicide. these Reps are from swing districts and they absolutely do not want to have to explain to their constituents why they gave the Speaker’s gavel to a subpoena-defying insurrectionist who begged for a pardon after unsuccessfully trying to overthrow his own government.
https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/morons-on-parade-performative-nonsense?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1162742&post_id=137854631&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=ebxc&utm_medium=email