Tornado Alley (PROG)

[BOREALIS]

Trump Sends January 6th Committee a Note from His Podiatrist

By Andy Borowitz
October 14, 2022

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Minutes after the congressional committee investigating the January 6th insurrection voted unanimously to subpoena the former President, Donald J. Trump responded by submitting a note from his podiatrist.

The foot specialist, Dr. Harland Dorrinson, indicated in the note that Trump’s chronic bone-spur issues, which had been asymptomatic in recent years, had suddenly “been acting up again.”

“This afternoon, Mr. Trump began experiencing unbearable pain consistent with bone-spur inflammation,” the podiatrist wrote. “For this reason, I cannot in good conscience give him permission to testify.”

The podiatrist’s note did not appear to discourage one committee member, Representative Liz Cheney, who volunteered to hoist Trump onto a luggage trolley and wheel him into the hearing room.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-sends-january-6th-committee-a-note-from-his-podiatrist