I'm 52 and yes some days are foggier than others but I've learned to use my cell phone or one of my laptops to keep things together. I write down everything I do or I give myself a little voice reminder on my phone incase I wake up and don't remember what the hell I did yesterday which sometimes happens.
I thought it was from my years of abuse of drugs and alcohol so I learned that trick awhile back to create that crutch for myself because in my line of work, what I do matters and sometimes there's a lot of money and other people's lives on the line.
I sometimes schedule meetings or appointments and forget that I even did that, so it's always imperative that I open up my machines or phones every morning, even if I do remember.
It's a real pain but I have to do it, otherwise I couldn't pretend that I'm normal. I'm honest with the people who are closest to me but I meet a lot of others in my travels who wouldn't know that I can't remember their name without help.
I don't get violent, but I do get violent thoughts sometimes and that's when I know I need a break. It's hard because in my case, I get into a shell and don't wan't to talk to anyone, get afraid to even go outside or even get out of bed. My guns are stored off site and are with a trusted person who won't let me have them if there's any inkling of my stupidity.
That is the worst part because it's in those moments where I need the most help, but I can just go to one of my devices and see all the stupid stuff I wrote down yesterday and adjust after I tell myself I have a problem.
It's not easy, but I was an idiot and now I'm paying the price.
