lol, being that the man who first "saw" the laptop is legally blind and has now disappeared from the public eye after owning a business that wasn't even open before it was supposedly abandoned with him, I think you need to grasp for a longer straw.
The hypocrisy with you holds no bounds. You won't be able to get to the bottom of the cup (or the garbage can in your case) with one of those little short straws.