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New Law Requires Texans to Have Counselling Before Being Allowed to Vote

By Andy Borowitz

September 1, 2021

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill requiring all Texans to submit to counselling before being allowed to vote.

The law mandates a counselling session and a twenty-four-hour waiting period before a voter is permitted to cast a ballot, Abbott explained.

“Many people who think that voting is something they have to do haven’t gotten all of the information available to them,” he said. “There are many alternatives to voting, including not voting.”

“Sometimes, a person is upset with their situation and thinks that voting is the only answer,” the Governor said. “A counsellor can sit with them, pray with them, and help them make the right choice.”

Answering critics who claim that the twenty-four-hour waiting period is designed to keep voters from casting their ballots in a timely fashion, Abbott said, “All we’re trying to do is make sure that voting is the right decision for them. Every day, I hear from people who voted for me who say that they’ll regret that decision for the rest of their lives.”


Satire from The Borowitz Report

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/new-law-requires-texans-to-have-counselling-before-being-allowed-to-vote?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_090121&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be9d70d24c17c6adf3edd69&cndid=24399211&hasha=4598f2b6c0cd59a7a59daee9f650852d&hashb=671cd628e76263b323d81893330770d25227e6a4&hashc=bf3b42645b84b560d7a701f6a774e86e26ef76ed150095ebb2489a9ecea9251d&esrc=NYR_BOROWITZ_BLOG&mbid=mbid%3DCRMNYR012019&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz