Tornado Alley (PROG)

[blackhawks]

Other earth-shattering news from the Cohen hearing: Don Junior is dumb! Ok, maybe it’s not news, but boy, if you’re so fucking dumb that a dude who surrounds himself with weapons-grade idiots like Ben Carson and Rick Perry thinks you’re dumb…woo. That’s I-need-Cliff-Notes-to-get-through-a-Larry-the-Cable-Guy-routine dumb.

Plus there’s all sortsa fun new plot lines to follow now. Potential insurance fraud? Fine, throw it on the investigation pile! New witnesses to subpoena and depose, including a guy with the Sopranos-by-way-of-SpongeBob monicker “Matthew Calamari?” Why the fuck not?

All I really want at this point is for a weary Elijah Cummings to turn to a colleague and remark, “We’re gonna need a bigger Oversight Committee.”

http://showercapblog.com/cohen-confesses-and-gaetz-gets-gelded-while-the-second-summit-super-sucks-a-roundup/

Only Nixon could go to China, and only Little Donnie Two-Scoops could go to Vietnam to be utterly, thoroughly, perfectly, cucked by a ten-cent autocratic thug like Kim Jong-un. For the second consecutive time.

That Kim, who rules over a kingdom of gravel and toenail clippings, can run laps around the supposed leader of the free world has every Washington and Lincoln on every 1 or 5 dollar bill in my wallet weeping tears of blood. I don’t know what we expected, the Shart of the Deal walked in with the shittiest imaginable poker face, so desperate for a win that he walked back verification demands before even sitting down. Of course, it would all prove worth it when the summit got cut short early without one fucking thing getting accomplished.

And even though his groveling yielded nothing at all, even less than the empty promises of the last “summit,” Weehands McNodick wasn’t quite done humiliating his nation. He lavished the murderous dictator with praise, even letting him off the hook for the death of American citizen Otto Warmbier, enraging Otto’s grieving parents and causing the Statue of Liberty to resign her post in shame.

Kim probably could have shown Donnie the cell where they tortured the poor kid to death, and he’d have gone on Hannity to praise the decor.

And then…THEN, and I swear I’m not making this up, Hairplug Himmler went and cancelled joint military exercises with South Korea anyway! Dude, he’s just not that into you! You’re never getting into Kim’s silos, ok?