Zeev's Turnips Patch-No Politics (ZEEV)

[madrose1]

OT : On Greenspan this "lost gospel & history" you'll find pretty humorous :
http://www.gtexts.com/lost_archives/Greenspan.html

March 25, 1997:: Greenspan fought another battle with his old nemesis, inflation, as the Federal Open Market Committee decided today to tighten money market conditions slightly, expecting the federal funds rate to rise 1/4 percentage point to around 5-1/2 percent.

January 12, 1506:: Fearing a mass exodus in the market for indulgences, Friar Johann Tetzel begged Greenspan to lower the reserve ratio. Greenspan was unavailable for comment.

May 3, 1180: The number of kills, rapes, and villages burned reached a four-month high and Genghis Khan praised Greenspan’s policy today, “I think I speak for all of the Mongol Horde when I say that we have an immense respect for Greenspan’s clever shamanism and magic. Although as nomadic raiders of the steppes we have little real need for a central banking system, we know that only he is wise enough to monitor important market indicators.”

December 12, 45 BC: Almighty dictator Caesar leaned heavily today on Greenspan to keep interest rates stable in the expansionary economy. Greenspan though, seeks a slowdown: “Although aqueduct construction and Coliseum revenues looked good in the first quarter, hyperinflation could take place as early as the Ides of March.”

September 28, 1377 BC: Zeus finally transformed back from an ox into a human today as Greenspan hinted at an interest rate hike. Greenspan cited Paris’ gift of a gold apple to Aphrodite as a decrease in the mortal population’s money supply. The recent discovery of iron in the technology sector further complicated matters.

March 18, Mesozoic Era: The dust clouds encircling the earth yet again did not dissipate today, following the impact on March 2 of a huge meteor. 43 species became extinct due to lack of sunlight today, up 2 species from yesterday. In an effort to stabilize the economy and stave off an ice age, Greenspan lowered rates a full three quarters of a percentage point. Advised Greenspan, “Investors should be looking towards long-term growth funds, particularly mammals.”

Dawn of Time: In the beginning, there was only inflation…hyperinflation from a tiny, extremely valuable pinpoint of superdense matter. And from that primeval fireball emerged Alan Greenspan, from which all good emanates. His monetary policy drifted through the universe for billions and billions of years, until it coalesced to form planets and eventually solar systems. Without his careful monitoring of interest rates and shrewd open market operations, the very fabric of space-time would be at any moment torn apart by the evil forces of inflation