Why is he complaining? This guy doesn't understand that if you ever find yourself eating with a spork, and you are not at KFC, take a good look around you; chances are, you’re in iHub JAIL!
Not to mention, that while he's been here, he's eaten three meals a day with said utensil and hung out with the likes of Sugar Butt, Hound Dog, Sploogie, Two-Stroke, Mr. Syph, “Pops #1” a.k.a. Bad Breath Bernard, Wildman, Joe Jizz, Pops #2, Scroto and Easy-E.
Why would anyone ever want to leave here?