Government Agent: …….Knock Knock
Zwebner: ……..Who's there?
Government Agent: …….Sir, this is Agent _____ of the U.S. Department of ________.
Zwebner: …….What do you want?
Government Agent: …….Sir we would like to ask you some questions regarding the improper and illegal use of the Government's Carnivore system for the interception of private emails, phone conversations and faxes.
Zwebner: ……..So what does that have to do with me?
Government Agent: …….Sir, are you Michael J. Zwebner?
Zwebner: ………Yes….I am Michael Joel Zwebner.
Government Agent: ……..Are you the current CEO of a company called UCSY?
Zwebner: ….Why do you ask?
Government Agent:……Are you the current CEO of a company called UCSY?
Zwebner:…..Yes I am….Is there a problem?…..What is "Carnivore"?
Government Agent:……..Have you ever posted in the Raging Bull message boards on the Internet?
Zwebner:….No….I haven't.
Government Agent:…..So you are saying that you don't post in the Raging Bull message boards?
Zwebner:…..Yes…I have never posted on Raging Bull.
Government Agent:….OK…Sir…Can you please tell us if you have ever seen this particular name that is used as an alias: MICHAELJ123?
Zwebner:….No I haven't.
Government Agent:…..Are you not Michael J. Zwebner?
Zwebner:…..Yes.
Government Agent:….What does the "J" stand for?
Zwebner:…The "J" stands for John.
Government Agent:…so you are saying that the "J" stands for John in your name?
Zwebner:….Yes…
Government Agent:……Wait a minute, didn't you just tell me that your middle name is Joel?
Zwebner:….No I didn't….
Government Agent:…..So…you never told us that your middle name is Joel in the beginning of our conversation today?
Zwebner:….No I didn't.
Government Agent:….Have you ever posted under the name "MICHAELJ123" in the Raging Bull message boards?
Zwebner:….No I haven't….
Government Agent:……Sir…here is a copy of a post by "MICHAELJ123"…it is signed at the bottom by Michael J. Zwebner……Did you post this message?
Zwebner:….No I didn't…..
Government Agent:…..No you didn't?…what do you mean?
Zwebner:….I mean that I didn't post that message.
Government Agent:….Isn't your name Michael J. Zwebner?
Zwebner:….Yes it is…
Government Agent:….What is your middle name?
Zwebner:…..My middle name is Joel…
Government Agent:….But didn't you just say that your middle name was John?
Zwebner:…..No I didn't…I never lie…..My middle name is Joel..
Government Agent:…Let's move on…so you are saying that this post on the Raging Bull message boards by MICHAELJ123 that is signed Michael J. Zwebner was not written and posted by you.
Zwebner:….Yes you are correct…
Government Agent:….Can you please tell me the title that is listed under the Michael J. Zwebner signature on the post in front of you?
Zwebner:….It says "Chief Executive Officer", UCSY.
Government Agent:….Are you the CEO of UCSY?
Zwebner:….No I am not…
Government Agent:….What?
Zwebner:….I said that I am not the CEO of UCSY and that I never posted that message.
Government Agent:…Wait a minute…didn't you just tell me that you were the CEO of UCSY earlier when I arrived?
Zwebner:…..No I didn't….I never lie….
Government Agent:…..So you never lie…
Zwebner:….That is correct …YOU PIECE OF HUMAN EXCREMENT….I never lie….
Government Agent:….Let's continue…..this particular post is addressed to "the_worm06" and "Roberto Villasenor"…..Do you know who the person posting as the_worm06 is?
Zwebner:….No I don't…I never lie…. YOU PIECE OF CRAP…
Government Agent:….So you do not know who the person posting as the_worm06 is?
Zwebner:….That is correct.
Government Agent:…Do you know who Roberto Villasenor is?
Zwebner:…..No I don't….I never lie…
Government Agent:….So what you are telling us is that this Raging Bull post by a "MICHAELJ123' which is signed Michael J. Zwebner, CEO of UCSY, and is addressed to the_worm06 - Roberto Villasenor was not done by you.
Zwebner:….That is correct…I never lie…YOU PIECE OF HUMAN EXCREMENT….THIS WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL…YOU DESPICABLE PIECE OF CRAP….
Government Agent:…..Let's continue….Do you know anything about the Carnivore system used by the U.S. Government to gather data through the Internet?
Zwebner:…..No I don't.
Government Agent:….So you don't know what the Carnivore system is?
Zwebner:….That is correct….I never lie…
Government Agent:….So you are telling us that you never posted in the Raging Bull message boards acknowledging that you have conspired with certain Federal Government agents to obtain private emails from the_worm06 using the Carnivore system?
Zwebner:…You are correct….The emails of Roberto Villasenor that were posted by me were not obtained with the use of the Carnivore system.
Government Agent:….What emails?
Zwebner…….The emails that I posted on Raging Bull.
Government Agent:…Wait a minute…didn't you say that you never posted on the message boards?
Zwebner:….No I didn't…I never lie…SHOW ME THE PROOF…YOU PIECE OF HUMAN WASTE….
Government Agent:…So…you do know who Roberto Villasenor is don't' you.
Zwebner:…You are a liar….I don't know anything about the_worm06.
Government Agent :…Hey…are you saying that Roberto Villasenor is the_worm06?
Zwebner:……No I am not…I never lie…THIS IS YOUR DOWNFALL…YOU FOOL.
Government Agent:….Now I am really confused…What is your name again.
Zwebner:…..My name is Michael J. Zarek…..er….er…..er ….Zwebner
Government Agent:….So your name is Michael J. Zarek or Michael J. Zwebner, which is it?
Zwebner:…….I never lie….my name is Michael John Zwenber.
Government Agent:….again…is it John or Joel…you said Joel last time.
Zwebner:…..No I didn't …YOU FOOL….DON'T EVER TALK YOU ME AGAIN…THIS WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL…My name is Michael John Zwebner….see…it says so in my Social Security Card…oops….here we go…..(as Zwebner fumbles through six different Social Security Cards)…see…here it is….
Government Agent:…Ok…here it is …Michael John Zwenber…thanks
Zwebner:….No problem…I never lie….LET THE RECORD SHOW…..YOU FOOL…DON'T THROW STONES IN GLASS HOUSES..
Government Agent:…..OK…let's get back to business….so those posts that you made about the_worm06 and the Carnivore system….
Zwebner:….Huh?…I said that I never posted anything…you are a liar…..
Government Agent:…..Ok…that is it…we will be back to you…
Zwebner:….Thanks Agent _____________…..I am glad that I could be of help to this wonderful country of yours..
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