The Homunculus Flunks the Touring Test (ibid)

[ergo sum]

THE PERFECT TRAP
"The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them."
Randy K. Milholland


Thumb twiddling. Finger tapping. Flag hoisted up the flag pole drooping a bit.
The bishop sat at his desk in the Abby. “Well Slippery I guess you’ve had your way today.” He laughed taking a chilled oyster from the tray in his fat hand and eating it. “Odd as it might seem I got some good news this afternoon about a rather large order for wool coming from abroad.”

Over at the Manor the serfs were crushing freshly harvested Pinot Noir, Pinot Meunierand, and Chardonnay grapes for the Abby, a festive and jovial task that always entertained them. Young Sam plucked at his lute and sang bawdy lascivious songs he had learned from the Goliads. Pausing now and then to munch on some sweet dates. Riddle and the Maiden Deniala slipped off to the hayloft in the barn.

Within the castle the mood swings were dramatic. Early in the day a former caravan owner insisted he could vouch for the Oracle of the Sarcophagus’ claims that everything was turning up roses. But where was the 10K Legion of reinforcements? Without that the Bastions Of Serfdom might just overwhelm the now depleted Palace Guard. A building inspector was called in because a number of people thought the Roof in the Great Hall might just cave in. He promised to have his report either this evening or by Monday. To which the Hall Keeper remarked “This should have been done yesterday.”

Later that evening a notice of delay was sent from the Commander of the Foreign Legion that in fact the 10K legionaries had all contracted legionaries disease. To which many replied “you mean those bastards have air conditioning?” A second courier followed practically on the heals of the first with a notice that Lord Bensta of Mistywood had in fact won the bean counting contest and would win the prize of a week at the stables cleaning up stalls.

In the dungeon most of the captured Basher Tribe were debating how best to undermine the bonds. Two or three of them were suggesting that if you didn’t believe in the bonds then they would not restrain you. In fact they all stood up and raising their hands n the air demonstrated that in fact their bonds did not exist. Soon all of them were free and the sappers among them began to dig. They took turns watching for the guard and when ever Col. von Luger passed by they all pretended nothing at all had changed.