Zeev's Turnips Patch-No Politics (ZEEV)

[leptokurtosiss]

OJ,

ROFL

Enjoy the scotch. I'll have some of those after the exam. But wait a minute, I'm the imported beer guy <GGG>

You Are What You Drink

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could identify a
woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed
separately,
they
concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,
she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings
with
friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she
has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... this should be an
easy
target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally
drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed.
Nothing
to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to
help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay!

---------------------------

Good night and best regards,

Leptokurtosis