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DUST gapping
Dead cat bounce
LULU
SODA bounce PM
SODA up in PM
DATA and UNXL 2 gappers busted
Gopper UNXL
Samr with new IPO DATA
Good call!!!!
DATA big moves
INFI already 4X volume
INFI small bounce
A TRIP INTO THE MEN'S ROOM
This morning I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal when suddenly for no discernible reason he confided in me that he "hadn't seen his thingie in 15 years".
Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete stranger, and not knowing what else to say and wanting to be
helpful, I said, "Why don't you diet?"
Giving me a surprised sideways stare, he said, "Dye it? What color is it now?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Quickie
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "
What would you like, sir?"
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.
After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"
Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "a quickie, please."
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."
SEE ANY ADDRESS - ALL OVER THE WORLD
Is there nowhere to hide ?? This could get scary!
Much faster than Google Earth. It's unbelievable technology.
After opening the link below, slowly type in the address you want, one letter or number at a time, then pause, letter by letter, space by space, and watch each time where it takes you.
http://showmystreet.com/
PERSONAL AD
An ad found in the Canberra Times, Personal Section:
Wanted A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
Interested?
Then please only read lines 1, 3 and 5;
still interested?
Call me at...... 8250-0327
Beggars at the Vatican
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome
, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the
Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put
money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of
people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to
the beggar holding the Star of David.
Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of
David and say's "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a
Catholic country; this city is the Seat of Catholicism. People aren't
going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front
of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a
Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of
spite."
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope,
smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, "Moishe, look
who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
NFL update
> The American Indian Counsel has requested that the NFL disassociate itself
> with Indian Names.
>
> The Washington Redskins will therefore change their name to the Washington
> Foreskins in honor of all the pricks in Washington DC, effective immediately
New pill
Since his indiscretions have come to light, several of Tiger Woods' sponsors have dropped him... However, Pfizer has decided to sponsor him.
They are making a new drug called "Tiagra". It's good for 18 holes.
Hello Toes
An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth.
He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said. "How are you? You know, you are 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon. The times we waltzed on the dance floor?
Happy Birthday toes!"
"Hello, knees.", he continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today.. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade?
Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."
Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie!
You little Prick, Just think.
If you were alive today, you'd be 92.
PONDERISMS ---
1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.
3- Life is sexually transmitted.
4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
11- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
16- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
19- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
20- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email
MLNX bouncing
MLNX weakness creates buying opportunity, says JMP theflyonthewall.com(Thu 8:25AM EDT)
MLNX weakness creates buying opportunity, says JMP theflyonthewall.com(Thu 8:25AM EDT)
MLNX weakness creates buying opportunity, says JMP theflyonthewall.com(Thu 8:25AM EDT)
Mellanox weakness creates buying opportunity, says JMP Securities
Mellanox weakness creates buying opportunity, says JMP Securities
Pervert calling
The telephone rings, and the wife answers.
A pervert with heavy breathing, says,
"I bet you have a tight ass, with no hair."
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - whom shall I say is calling?"
BUDLIGHT DRUNK;
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ...
> Doctor: "What happened?"
>
> Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
> home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp."
>
> Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes
> home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start
> swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he
> goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."
>
> Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
>
> Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came
> home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished and he didn't touch me!"
>
> Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
XONE reports ER tonight--could effect our price
A touching love story
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?”
She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches,
and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, "6."
The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could conclude the trial, the woman's husband spoke up
and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
Ole's Gun Accident
Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would
have it, his foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.
Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to...and there was his doctor, Sven. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good
news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot."
"What's the bad news?", asks Ole. "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to
my sister, Lena." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't piss in your eye."
check out STXS news
STXS L@@King good
Some 5,000 pounds of rattlesnakes collected in odd annual event
http://www.grindtv.com/outdoor/blog/51254/some+5000+pounds+of+rattlesnakes+collected+in+odd+annual+event/
DILEMMA
One guy says to his buddy: what is a dilemma, actually?
The buddy replied: well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that.
Imagine that you are lying in a big bed with a beautiful young woman on one side
and a gay man on the other.
Who are you going to turn your back on?
.
T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T
A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright,
"T-G-I-F"
He smiled at her and replied,
"S-H-I-T"
She looked puzzled and repeated,
"T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered,
"S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly,
"T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again,
"S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered,
"S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'-- duuhhh.
Watching MNCC leading FNMA up