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Sexual Relations:
This story is about an elderly couple, sitting together watching television.
During one of those commercials, the husband asked his wife, "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long thoughtful silence, and during the next commercial, the wife replied, "You know, I don't know. I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year."
How old is Grandpa?
Stay with this - the answer is at the end.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.
There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.
Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
Your grandmother and I got married first-and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'-and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of CDs or guys wearing earrings.
And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby. 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood, hardware' was found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap. ...and how old do you think I am ???.
Grandpa would be only 58 years old!
21 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
3. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word.
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. Ahh, I see the screw up fairy has visited again.
6. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
7. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
9. Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
14. What am I? Flypaper for geeks?
15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignifigant.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. It's a thankless job, but I've got Karma to burn off.
18. No, my powers can be used only for good.
19. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....
True story...a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Excel
Check this out! I need your opinion!
http://www.investorshub.com/boards/board.asp?board_id=793
Excel,
Proverbs 16:3
Tickle Me Elmo
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee.
She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Minnesota temperature conversion chart:
70 above
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Minnesota go swimming in the Lakes.
60 above
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Minnesota sunbathe.
40 above
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
20 above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0
People in Miami all die...
Minnesotans lick the flagpole.
20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Minnesota Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Minnesota rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Minnesota complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Minnesota start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Vikings win the Super Bowl!
(received via email and doesn't necessarily reflect my view of the Vikes)
Key Female Words:
Males must study and retain this information to survive peacefully on this planet.
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine"
to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done.
In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble.
If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
Carlinisms
For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity. Also for those of us that are old enough to understand George Carlin! A few statements to ponder ... George Carlin quotes:
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
27. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
28. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
29. How is it possible to have a civil war?
31. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
32. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
33. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
34. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
35. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
36. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
37. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
38. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
39. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
40. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
For the ladies:
15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes. It means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
Found on Bumper Sticker: IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
A few moments with George Carlin.
George Carlin asks...
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed-UP?
18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
25. No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning.
26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
To be six again
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear-everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie -- the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story: Even when the man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong.
Overworked
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Three wishes
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
It's all in the punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
TWO ADDITIONS TO THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS
Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!
Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to
produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
Moe and Sam
Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is dying, so Moe comes to visit him.
"Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both loved baseball all our lives. Sam, you have do me one favor. When you go, somehow you've got to tell me if there's baseball in heaven."
Sam looks up at Moe from his deathbed and says, "Moe, you've been my friend many years. This favor I'll do for you." And with that, Sam passes on.
It is midnight a couple nights later. Moe is sound asleep when a distant voice calls out to him, "Moe.... Moe...."
"Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Moe, it's Sam."
"Come on. You're not Sam. Sam died."
"I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Sam!"
"Sam? Is that you? Where are you?"
"I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.
"The good news," says Sam "is that there is baseball in heaven."
"Really?" says Moe, "That's wonderful! What's the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday!"
Oil Changing Instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3)15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent: $20.00 for oil change $1.00 for coffee
Total = $21.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty Litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16) Beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car..
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30) Drink beer.
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in her overabundant chest.
35) Beer.
36) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
37) Beer.
38) Beer.
39) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
40) Beer.
41) Lower car from jack stands.
42) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
43) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
44) Beer.
45) Test drive car.
46) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
47) Car gets impounded.
48) Make bail: Get car from impound yard.
Money spent: $50.00 parts
$25.00 beer
$75.00 replacement set of jack stands $1,000.00 Bail
$200.00 Impound and towing fee Total = $1350.00
One Wish
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how much steel! No, think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
NetCurrents Granted Patent for Fast Internet Real-time Search
Technology - FIRST
Business Editors/High Tech Writers
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--July 10, 2001-- NetCurrents, Inc. (Nasdaq:NTCS), The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, today announced its allowed patent application is scheduled to issue today and has been granted U.S. Patent Number 6,260,041. This allowed patent uniquely positions NetCurrents to lead the market in providing real-time monitoring of Internet message activity to help its clients develop better business strategies, stronger competitive positioning, and deeper understanding of consumer perceptions about the clients' products or services.
The new patent covers important functionality of the Company's Fast Internet Real-Time Search Technology (FIRST), which allows NetCurrents to monitor Internet communications about a company, its products or its competitors. The Company currently monitors more than 100,000 Internet locations and 3,800 online publications.
"We are extremely pleased to receive the U.S. patent and the strong protection we believe it provides," stated Irwin Meyer, Chairman and CEO of NetCurrents. "The proprietary technology covered by this patent should give NetCurrents a competitive advantage in the Knowledge Management industry."
Michael O'Hara, Vice President, Product Strategy added, "The granting of this patent on our underlying technology erects a formidable barrier to entry for any competition which seeks to search the Internet in real-time for customer specific information. The enhanced protection provided by this patent increases the perceived value of NetCurrents as an Internet technology player. This patent is the first step in a multi-layer strategy designed to protect our competitive position and enhance shareholder value. Based on our recent perpetual license agreement with MindfulEye, we have secured in-house a superior technology for the real-time classification of unstructured text into categories, relevance and sentiment through an artificial intelligence engine. Both of these technologies are key components powering our premier application for monitoring consumer opinion on the Internet. This will also well position NetCurrents to be a strong technology infrastructure player in the US and abroad. The granting of this patent is certainly a major milestone in the history of the Company."
About NetCurrents, Inc.
NetCurrents analyzes communications from a universe of targeted Internet locations in real-time. The Company provides clients with critical information and counsel to protect their corporate images, measure consumers' perceptions and counter misinformation on the Internet. For more information on NetCurrents services, visit http://www.netcurrents.com.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 37A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties. A number of factors could cause actual results to differ from those indicated in the forward-looking statements, including the Company's ability to protect its patent, secure additional patents, continue to successfully market and provide their products and services and maintain their effectiveness, the ability of the Company to meet its financial requirements, and general economic conditions. The Company undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise forward-looking statements whether as a result of new information or otherwise.
--30--eg/mi*
CONTACT: Madison & Wall Worldwide, Inc., Longwood, Fla.
Broker/Institutional Relations:
Dodi Handy, 407/682-2001
ntcs@insidewallstreet.com
or
IR Consulting
Shareholder Relations:
Terri MacInnis, 818/995-0910
tmacinnis@pacbell.net
http://quote.bloomberg.com/fgcgi.cgi?T=marketsquote99_news.ht&s=AO0rnphZiTmV0Q3Vy
Blonde jokes
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. "A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIVE
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was..." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!
EIGHT
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when this attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn there she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
Origin of phrases:
1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on
bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes
the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."
2. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's
father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month or what we know today as the
honeymoon.
3. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts
size. So in old England, when customers got unruly,
the bartender would yell at them to mind their own
pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get
the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."
4. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic
cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the
phrase inspired by this practice.
5. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless
you had consent of the King (unless you were in the
Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby,
they got consent of the King; The King gave them a
placard that they hung on their door while they were
having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication
Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know
where that came from.
6. In Scotland, a new game was invented. Entitled:
Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden.... And thus the
word GOLF entered into the English language...
The Reluctant Samaritan
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband. "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just a drunken stranger asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I didn't - it's three in the morning and raining like hell out!"
"Well you've got a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on our trip and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."
The man does as he is told. He gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark.
"Hello! Are you still there?"
Yes," comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," the drunk replies.
Chinese restaurant:
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant and is told by the maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait and would he like to wait in the bar. So he goes and has a seat at the bar.
The bartender walks up and says with a heavy accent, "What you dlink?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were *four* little pigs..."
Is that where the phrase,
"colour my world" came from?
Couple new links in the ibox. One has delightful translations like:
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
You think you're smart?
Try this out...
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count the F's in that sentence. Count only once, don't go back a
2nd time.
scroll down for answer
Try this on for size........
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence
A person of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
Before you look at the explanation, feel free to go back and
count again, there really are six in there.
give up?
If you caught six, you are a genius.
There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s.
The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.
Pretty weird, huh?
Pass this on to anyone you feel would enjoy it.
NetCurrents, Inc. Launches National Investor Awareness Campaign
Madison & Wall Worldwide and IR Consulting To Coordinate Aggressive Outreach Program To Shareholders, Brokers, Institutions, Analysts and the Media
BURLINGAME, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 20, 2001-- NetCurrents, Inc. (Nasdaq:NTCS - news), The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, today announced that it has engaged Madison & Wall Worldwide, Inc., a nationally recognized, full service financial public relations company, and veteran independent investor relations consultant Ms. Terri MacInnis of I.R. Consulting, Northridge, California, to increase mass market awareness of the Company among individual investors, institutions, analysts, retail stockbrokers, media sources and other investment professionals. Working closely with key NetCurrents executives, MacInnis will focus primarily on coordinating all shareholder relations activity for the Company, while Madison & Wall will concentrate on developing and implementing communications strategies and programs specifically targeting the retail brokerage and investment banking communities.
Dodi Handy, President and CEO of Madison & Wall, stated, ``NetCurrents has come a long way since first introducing its single-dimensional, proprietary solution for monitoring Internet communications on a real-time basis. Having completed its one year ramp-up period, it has emerged as a company that has clearly defined the Internet Intelligence space by offering an extensive suite of diversified products and services designed to meet a multitude of clients' monitoring demands on the Internet. Moreover, we believe that the challenges NetCurrents has overcome during the past year have served to strengthen its core operating competencies and intelligently refine its sales and marketing focus. We are hopeful that Wall Street will appreciate the Company's re-engineered business model and future outlook, and thus reward the Company with notable market support.''
Ms. MacInnis added, ``Through its established relationships with the world's leading investigation, media and investor relations organizations and with its planned 2001 product expansion initiatives, NetCurrents is ideally positioned to leverage its technological strengths, industry leadership and marketing alliances both domestically and abroad. Consequently, I look forward to working with Madison & Wall to aid NetCurrents in communicating the Company's new direction and global growth strategies to its valued shareholders.''
About NetCurrents, Inc.
NetCurrents, The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, analyzes communications from more than 65,000 targeted locations in real-time. The Company provides clients with critical information and counsel protection of their corporate image, measure consumers' perceptions and counter misinformation on the Internet. Due to the sensitivity of businesses that require this type of technology and analysis, confidentiality of NetCurrents clients is assured.
About Madison & Wall Worldwide, Inc.
Madison & Wall (M&W) is a leading, nationally recognized, financial public relations firm that specializes in increasing mass market awareness of its clients among individual investors, retail stockbrokers, institutional investors, analysts, the financial media and other investment professionals. Through its publication, Inside Wall Street, and its web site, www.insidewallstreet.com, M&W concentrates on pro-actively spotlighting undervalued, undiscovered or turnaround situations operating in emerging, high-growth industries. Since its founding in 1992, M&W has represented hundreds of public companies headquartered on six continents.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 37A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties. A number of factors could cause actual results to differ from those indicated in the forward-looking statements, including the Company's ability to continue to successfully market and provide their products and services and maintain their effectiveness, the continuation of the arrangements with the Company's channel partners, the ability of the Company to meet its financial projections, and general economic conditions. The Company undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise forward-looking statements whether as a result of new information or otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact:
Madison & Wall Worldwide, Inc., Longwood, Fla.
Dodi Handy, 407/682-2001 (Broker/Institutional Relations)
ntcs@insidewallstreet.com
or
Terri MacInnis, 818/226-6061 (Shareholder Relations)
tmacinnis@pacbellnet
http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/010220/ca_netcurrents.html
Environmental Solutions Worldwide To Open Corporate Office And Training And Installation Facility In Hong Kong
The Hong Kong Retrofit Market For Catalytic Converters Represents A Potential Of More Than $200 Million
MARKHAM, Ontario--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 14, 2001-- Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc., (ESW) (OTCBB:ESWW - news), a multi-national company that develops, manufactures and markets advanced pollution control technologies, today announced it will open a corporate sales office and technical training center in Hong Kong.
ESW has been involved during the past year in a test study conducted by the Hong Kong Government (HK-EPD), the Hong Kong Polytechnic University (HKPU) and other private sector entities, to monitor the real life performance of ESW's patent-pending diesel Clean Cat® Particulate Reactor in Hong Kong's environment.
Hong Kong authorities recently passed a legislation to impose HK$1,000.00 (US$130.00) fines on owners of highly polluting vehicles and equipment. Subsequently, the Hong Kong Environmental Protection Department (HK-EPD) is poised to implement an aggressive motor vehicle catalyst retrofit installation program in Asia. Beginning in October of this year, the HK-EPD will require every diesel engine to be fitted with an exhaust gas catalytic converter before the vehicle or equipment registration will be permitted, opening up a market opportunity for pollution-control related businesses such as ESW.
``There are presently more than 300,000 diesel-powered road vehicles, construction vehicles and generators in Hong Kong and Macau, and Hong Kong's mandatory catalytic converter retrofit installation program is on a very aggressive timeline, representing a potential in excess of a US$200 million market,'' stated David Johnson, Chief Operating Officer of ESW. ``With that said, this new corporate office will provide ESW with an excellent sales and marketing launch pad, a distinct advantage over our competitors. We intend to utilize this location to build our Asian base of operations and to develop a leading presence in Hong Kong for our Clean Cat® and Enviro Cat(TM) products.''
Mr. Johnson continued, ``This expansion to Hong Kong clearly demonstrates our ongoing commitment to globalizing our catalyst products. With our sales and marketing efforts in Hong Kong, we are simultaneously expanding our production capacity at our Telford, Pennsylvania facility in order to meet anticipated product demand.''
ESW also announced that Mr. Samson Sit has been appointed to oversee ESW's Hong Kong operation. Mr. Sit has spearheaded the Company's business relations over the past year and is a highly experienced sales engineer. He holds a B.S degree in Chemical Engineering and an M.S. degree in Mechanical Engineering, both from the University of Florida. As a native of Hong Kong Mr. Sit is fluent in two Mainland Chinese dialects, as well as English. He is also an active member of both the Air and Waste Management Association and the American Society of Mechanical Engineers.
For further information about the Hong Kong Pollution control initiatives, visit the following URLs, which are in the public domain and have no affiliation with ESW:
Hong Kong EPD: http://www.info.gov.hk/epd/
Clean The Air: http://www3.cleartheair.org.hk/
Clean Air For Hong Kong: http://www.pelb.gov.hk/cleanair/index.htm
About Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.
Headquartered in Toronto, Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. is a publicly traded research and development company engaged in the design, development, manufacture and marketing of pollution control technologies currently focused on the international automotive and transportation industries.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 (The ``Act''). In particular, when used in the preceding discussion, the words ``plan,'' ``confident that,'' ``believe,'' ``expect,'' or ``intend to,'' and similar conditional expressions are intended to identify forward looking statements within the meaning of the Act and are subject to the safe harbor created by the Act. Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties and actual results could differ materially from those expressed in any of the forward-looking statements. Such risks and uncertainties include, but are not limited to, market conditions, general acceptance of the Company's products and technologies, competitive factors, the ability to successfully complete additional financings and other risks described in the Company's SEC reports and filings.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact:
Madison & Wall Worldwide, Inc., Longwood, Fla.
Jill Stephenson, 407/682-2001
Email: esww@insidewallstreet.com
http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/010214/environmen.html
*** Life's a test - and you're graded on a curve
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
....At age 12, success is...having friends.
...... At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
........ At age 20, success is...having sex.
........... At age 35, success is...having money.
.. ........ At age 50, success is...having money.
........ At age 60, success is...having sex.
.. .... At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
.... At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
Cell phones and Rolls Royces
Subject; Cell phones
An elderly person just had a cell phone installed in his
car. He was a bit of an unorthodox driver to begin with.
His daughter hears on the news that an elderly person is
driving the wrong way on a one way street. She knew that
her Father who had just left her was in that vicinity.
She phones him to warn him.
His answer; " What do you mean, it is not one; there are
dozens of people going the wrong way on this street".
Subject; Rolls Royces
A lady walks into a bank and asks to see the manager.
When she sits down she asks him for a loan of $ 5000.00
and the loan to be paid back with interest in one month.
The manager says that's fine but we need collateral!
She says; " Well I have a Rolls Royce that is one year
old". The agreement is made and she delivers the RR.
The manager says to his assistant " Find the most secure
place to store this car in our building and make sure it
gets the best care. The assistant obliges.
Exactly one month later the lady comes back with the
pricipal + 1 month interest $ 29.16.
She was dressed in her finest attire and displayed some
valuable jewelry.
The manager said; " Mam may I ask you a question, would
a person of your status really need a loan?"
She said; " I didn't but I went on a cruise and was
concerned about the car and who would be best to take
care of it.
So where else could I get such excellent service and the
location for $ 29.16 / month ?"
Guess The Beer
Try to guess the beer. Perfect score is eight.
http://www.kellys.com/cgi-bin/guessbeer.pl
Above stolen from "DickMN" on the BEER board.
http://www.investorshub.com/beta/read_msg.asp?message_id=47308
"Santa in the house"
I just finished the household chores for the night and was
preparing to go to bed, when I heard a noise in the front of
the house. I opened the door to the front room and to my
surprise, Santa himself stepped out from behind the Christmas
tree. He placed his finger over his mouth so I would not cry
out.
"What are you doing?" I started to ask. The words choked
up in my throat, and I saw he had tears in his eyes. His usual
jolly manner was gone. Gone was the eager, boisterous soul
we all know. He then answered me with a simple statement.
"TEACH THE CHILDREN!"
I was puzzled; what did he mean? He anticipated my
question, and with one quick movement brought forth a
miniature toy bag from behind the tree. As I stood bewildered,
Santa said, "Teach the children! Teach them the old meaning
of Christmas. The meaning that now-a-days Christmas has
forgotten."
Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a FIR TREE
and placed it before the mantle. "Teach the children that the
pure green color of the stately fir tree remains green all year
round, depicting the everlasting hope of mankind. All the
needles point heavenward, making it a symbol of man's
thoughts turning toward heaven."
He again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant
STAR. "Teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of
promises long ago. God promised a Savior for the world, and
the star was the sign of fulfillment of His promise."
He then reached into his bag and pulled out a CANDLE.
"Teach the children that the candle symbolizes that Christ is the
light of the world, and when we see this great light we are
reminded of He who displaces the darkness."
Once again he reached into his bag and removed a
WREATH and placed it on the tree. "Teach the children that the
wreath symbolizes the real nature of love. Real love never
ceases. Love is one continuous round of affection."
He then pulled from his bag an ornament of HIMSELF.
"Teach the children that I, Santa Clause, symbolize the
generosity and good will we feel during the month of
December."
He then brought out a HOLLY LEAF. "Teach the children
that the holly plant represents immortality. It represents the
crown of thorns worn by our Savior. The red holly represents the
blood shed by Him."
Next he pulled from his bag a GIFT and said, "Teach the
children that God so loved the world that he gave . . ." "Thanks
be to God for his unspeakable gift. Teach the children that the
wise men bowed before the holy babe and presented him with
gold, frankincense and myrrh. We should always give gifts in
the same spirit of the wise men."
Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a CANDY
CANE and hung it on the tree. "Teach the children that the
candy cane represents the shepherds' crook. The crook on the
staff helps to bring back strayed sheep to the flock. The candy
cane is the symbol that we are our brother's keeper."
He reached in again and pulled out an ANGEL. "Teach the
children that it was the angels that heralded in the glorious
news of the Savior's birth. The angels sang 'Glory to God in the
highest, on earth peace and good will toward men."
Suddenly I heard a soft tinkling sound, and from his bag he
pulled out a BELL. "Teach the children that as the lost sheep are
found by the sound of the bell, it should ring mankind to the
fold. The bell symbolizes guidance and return. Santa looked
back and was pleased.
He looked back at me and I saw that the twinkle was back
in his eyes. He said, "Remember, teach the children the true
meaning of Christmas. Do not put me in the center, for I am
but a humble servant of the One that is, and I bow down to
worship Him, our Lord, our God."
MARTHA STEWART'S CHRISTMAS LETTER TO ERMA BOMBECK
Hi Erma,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it, from DNA that I had just sitting around in my craft room.
By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve- course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get at almost any Hungarian craft store.
Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making.
Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long, I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a good thing.
Love, Martha Stewart
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.
Response from Erma Bombeck:
Dear Martha,
I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list; pay no attention to the coffee and jelly stains. I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter up for school, packing a lunch with one hand, on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff needs bailing out again.
Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I was trying to make those cute curly fries, how DO they do that? Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried using an old disposable razor ... trashed the tablecloth. Tried that cranberry thing, frozen cranberries mushed up after I defrosted them in the microwave. Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispie snowball recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting shade that resembles puke! The smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.
Love, Erma
December 30, 2004 / Washington, D.C. (Associated Press)
After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 presidential election yesterday.
Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until Jan. 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the winner of the 2004 presidential election, New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton).
Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an optimistic tone last night. "We have a lot to accomplish in the next three weeks," Bush said. "Reforming Social Security alone is probably going to eat up four-five hours. Let's get to work!"
Aides yesterday were calling temporary employment agencies in a frantic effort to fill Cabinet posts. Bush's victory ends a four-year court battle between him and Democratic candidate Al Gore over the results of the
2000 election.
While the dispute raged on, the nation installed an interim president
- New York Yankees Manager Joe Torre. Torre admitted that running a country and a baseball team simultaneously has been a strain. "At times, it's been difficult to keep the two things straight. Although, in retrospect, trading Jesse Helms to the Red Sox turned out OK."
Continued prosperity at home and relative calm abroad marked Torre's four years in office. His most controversial move was appointing Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer to the Supreme Court. Critics charged that Zimmer lacked experience. He also spit tobacco juice on Antonin Scalia's shoes, angering conservatives.
Torre's boldest foreign policy initiative was making Cuba the 51st state in an effort to improve U.S. pitching.
Torre was planning to vacate the White House by midnight tonight, with Bush moving in immediately. Eager to give an aura of permanency to his three-week administration, Bush rebuffed suggestions that he sleep on a bare mattress on the floor and live out of suitcases.
Gore, meanwhile, has yet to concede defeat. The former vice president issued a statement today saying, "It would be improper and disrespectful to the democratic process to act hastily before all the facts are known."
The legal tangle over the 2000 election began with a Gore lawsuit over the confusing design of ballots in Florida. When the courts sided with Gore, Bush filed suit, arguing that the Oregon results were invalid because some ballots were yellow and others pink.
Gore counter-sued, charging that the West Virginia results should be thrown out because some people failed to receive "I Voted Today" stickers.
Through the years, various officials proposed compromises to resolve the impasse. All were rejected, including:
* Establishing a co-presidency, with the two men sharing duties and splitting the White House. Although never implemented, the idea gave rise to a hit TV show, East Wing, West Wing.
* Establishing temporarily separate nations, with each candidate ruling the states he won in the 2000 election. Gore, who failed to carry his native Tennessee, balked at the idea because it would mean showing a passport every time he went home.
* Letting Jimmy Carter sort it all out.
Observers said the biggest challenge for the Bush administration would be working with Congress, which adjourns tomorrow and isn't expected back until after Bush's term ends. "One day may not be quite enough time to overhaul the tax system," a Bush aide admitted. "But maybe we can get started and then finish it later with a big conference call or something."
Meanwhile, Bush also must work on his legacy and prepare to transfer power to President-elect Mrs. Greenspan. She yesterday wished Bush well and asked if she could start moving some boxes into the White House basement.
December 30, 2004 / Washington, D.C. (Associated Press)
After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 presidential election yesterday.
Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until Jan. 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the winner of the 2004 presidential election, New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton).
Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an optimistic tone last night. "We have a lot to accomplish in the next three weeks," Bush said. "Reforming Social Security alone is probably going to eat up four-five hours. Let's get to work!"
Aides yesterday were calling temporary employment agencies in a frantic effort to fill Cabinet posts. Bush's victory ends a four-year court battle between him and Democratic candidate Al Gore over the results of the
2000 election.
While the dispute raged on, the nation installed an interim president
- New York Yankees Manager Joe Torre. Torre admitted that running a country and a baseball team simultaneously has been a strain. "At times, it's been difficult to keep the two things straight. Although, in retrospect, trading Jesse Helms to the Red Sox turned out OK."
Continued prosperity at home and relative calm abroad marked Torre's four years in office. His most controversial move was appointing Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer to the Supreme Court. Critics charged that Zimmer lacked experience. He also spit tobacco juice on Antonin Scalia's shoes, angering conservatives.
Torre's boldest foreign policy initiative was making Cuba the 51st state in an effort to improve U.S. pitching.
Torre was planning to vacate the White House by midnight tonight, with Bush moving in immediately. Eager to give an aura of permanency to his three-week administration, Bush rebuffed suggestions that he sleep on a bare mattress on the floor and live out of suitcases.
Gore, meanwhile, has yet to concede defeat. The former vice president issued a statement today saying, "It would be improper and disrespectful to the democratic process to act hastily before all the facts are known."
The legal tangle over the 2000 election began with a Gore lawsuit over the confusing design of ballots in Florida. When the courts sided with Gore, Bush filed suit, arguing that the Oregon results were invalid because some ballots were yellow and others pink.
Gore counter-sued, charging that the West Virginia results should be thrown out because some people failed to receive "I Voted Today" stickers.
Through the years, various officials proposed compromises to resolve the impasse. All were rejected, including:
* Establishing a co-presidency, with the two men sharing duties and splitting the White House. Although never implemented, the idea gave rise to a hit TV show, East Wing, West Wing.
* Establishing temporarily separate nations, with each candidate ruling the states he won in the 2000 election. Gore, who failed to carry his native Tennessee, balked at the idea because it would mean showing a passport every time he went home.
* Letting Jimmy Carter sort it all out.
Observers said the biggest challenge for the Bush administration would be working with Congress, which adjourns tomorrow and isn't expected back until after Bush's term ends. "One day may not be quite enough time to overhaul the tax system," a Bush aide admitted. "But maybe we can get started and then finish it later with a big conference call or something."
Meanwhile, Bush also must work on his legacy and prepare to transfer power to President-elect Mrs. Greenspan. She yesterday wished Bush well and asked if she could start moving some boxes into the White House basement.
Sino - U.S. Venture Opens Wuhan, China Office
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif., Dec. 11 /PRNewswire/ -- Largo Vista Group Ltd. (OTC Bulletin Board: LGOV - news) today announced the official opening of the Largo Vista Representative Office in Wuhan, China, the home of 3,700 foreign enterprises, 45 of which are Fortune 500 Companies. A major deep water port on the Yangtze River, Wuhan, the fifth largest city in China with a population of 7 million, is centrally located in the Hubei Province, and is ideally situated to function as the hub of operations for Largo Vista.
Wuhan, a major center of education and technology, is considered the ``Optical Valley of China,'' with plans to make it ``Digital Wuhan.'' The modern three story office building is situated in a secure complex, equipped with state-of-the-art technology, (Bldg. No. 11, Yijuyuan, Xudong Rd., Wuhan, China 430063). For Largo, this brand new prestigious security building, with its finely appointed decorum, provides the stature and atmosphere of professionalism in which the Company can execute business and conduct meaningful negotiations with acquisition candidates. It officially opens Largo Vista's ``China's Gateway to the USA,'' paving the way for free-flow of opportunity in both directions.
In early November Largo participated in the Wuhan Trade Fair which reported an estimated $900 million of foreign investment. The decision to open the office here was confirmed by the phenomenal success of the Fair.
Largo Vista's President Daniel Mendez stated from China, ``This is the other side of our long term strategy that complements our 'America's Gateway to China.' We are continuing to develop relationships in parallel stages that are intended to enable us to interact with and adapt to changes in political, social and economic polices internally and internationally. With the WTO commitment expected next year, China, and especially Wuhan, is planning ahead in an effort to keep up with the anticipated WTO pace. China, commencing its 10th Five Year Economic Plan in 2001, is poised for a great leap forward, and Largo Vista is positioned to benefit from its market development. Over the last decade we have carefully nurtured our parallel plans for growth by developing clear, appropriate and professional relations with business, government and venture partners in China. Our plans to expand our existing Chinese LPG business are continuing and we anticipate strong growth in the future (www.largovista.com).
``Our Gulf operations in 2001 are expected to improve. With the skyrocketing oil prices during late 2000, and a lack of storage capacity, our Vietnam and Arabian Gulf operations had to wait until the lower priced diesel inventory was depleted. Now buyers are forced to purchase in the current market range, and Largo is aggressively seeking to regenerate its Vietnam commitments and establish other new customers. With all other year 2000 impediments behind us, we are gearing up for an active 2001. Another key objective for 2001 is to establish our Geneva facilities permitting us to better coordinate our global petroleum activities and to facilitate establishment of banking and credit relationships.''
SOURCE: Largo Vista Group Ltd.
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/001211/ca_largo_v.html
DD website
Here's a link to an unofficial DD site being set up by a respected RB poster (Conan the Contrarian).
http://www.dreamwater.net/conan/esww.html
Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. (ESWW) Engages Continental Capital & Equity Corporation to Manage Financial Public Relations
National Market Awareness Campaign Scheduled For Immediate Launch
MARKHAM, ON, Dec. 7 /CNW/ - Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. (OTCBB:ESWW - news), a multi-national company that develops, manufactures and markets environmental technologies, today announced it has engaged Continental Capital & Equity Corporation (CCEC), a nationally recognized, full-service financial public relations firm, to launch a comprehensive market awareness campaign targeting individual investors, retail stockbrokers, institutional investors, analysts and other investment professionals.
Mark Nicole, Chief Executive Officer, commented, "Less than three weeks ago, air regulators from 13 U.S. States, most of them along the Eastern Seaboard, declared their intent to adopt California-style diesel emission standards to limit heavy-duty highway truck pollution before new federal cap mandates come into force. Specifically, these 13 states want to achieve compliance well in advance of the tougher new federal rules, forcing diesel engine manufacturers to get cleaner-burning equipment on the road sooner. With the recent announcement of our Letter of Intent to acquire controlling interest in both Applied Diesel Technology, Inc. (ADT) and Air Testing Services, Inc. (ATS), we feel that ESWW is now ideally positioned to secure a leading position in the delivery of advanced and enhanced diesel emission control solutions to the global automotive and transportation markets. In addition, after our recent technology review ESWW and ADT are amalgamating technologies to improve the performance of EnviroCat(TM) for unleaded and leaded applications. We expect that additional state and federal legislation supporting the U.S. Clean Air Act, along with similar initiatives across Europe and other developing countries, will serve to create urgent and immediate demand for ESWW's proprietary products, thus greatly enhancing our earnings potential and shareholder value."
Nicole continued, "Due to their demonstrated industry leadership, marketing expertise, technological superiority and comprehensive product and service offerings, CCEC was the obvious choice when we made the decision to adopt a more vigorous approach to increasing market awareness of ESWW. We look forward to working closely with CCEC to develop and implement key marketing and communication strategies created to promote investor appreciation and shareholder support for our exciting growth platform."
"With investors, in general, now seeking more fundamentally sound investment opportunities outside of the traditional Internet and technology- related sectors, Continental Capital has made a point of actively identifying undervalued, undiscovered and turnaround situations in new emerging categories," stated Loren Brown, Vice President of Sales at Continental Capital. "Following considerable due diligence on ESWW, we have developed a meaningful appreciation for the potential impact that ESWW's technology could have on helping to solve what has become a global environmental issue."
About Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.
Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. is the developer of proprietary catalytic converter technology, EnviroCat(TM) and developer/manufacturer of CleanCat(TM), which are used for gasoline and diesel applications, respectively. The Company also is developing a fuel-injected spark plug with the potential of increasing the efficiency of internal combustion engines while reducing toxic emissions. For additional information, visit the Company's Web sites at www.cleanerfuture.com and www.clean-cat.com.
About Continental Capital & Equity Corporation
Continental Capital & Equity Corporation is a leading, nationally recognized financial public relations firm that specializes in increasing mass market awareness of its clients among individual investors, retail stockbrokers, institutional investors, analysts, the financial media and other investment professionals. Through its publication, Inside Wall Street, and its Web site, www.insidewallstreet.com, Continental concentrates on pro-actively spotlighting undervalued, undiscovered or turnaround situations operating in emerging, high-growth industries. Since its founding in 1992, Continental has represented hundreds of public companies headquartered on six continents. More information on CCEC's clients may be found by visiting www.insidewallstreet.com.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 (The "Act"). In particular, when used in the preceding discussion, the words "plan," "confident that," "believe," "expect," or "intend to," and similar conditional expressions are intended to identify forward looking statements within the meaning of the Act and are subject to the safe harbor created by the Act. Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties and actual results could differ materially from those expressed in any of the forward-looking statements. Such risks and uncertainties include, but are not limited to, market conditions, general acceptance of the Company's products and technologies, competitive factors, the ability to successfully complete additional financings and other risks described in the Company's SEC reports and filings.
http://biz.yahoo.com/cnw/001207/cor_esww_e.html
NetCurrents Launches MobilePerceptions
New Wireless Application
Remote, Real-Time Online Monitoring Available 24/7
BURLINGAME, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Dec. 5, 2000--NetCurrents, Inc. (Nasdaq:NTCS - news), The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, today announced the launch of its new wireless application, MobilePerceptions. MobilePerceptions, developed in conjunction with Datalink Systems Corporation, is a Palm VII compatible application for Internet enabled wireless devices that gives investor relations, public relations and corporate professionals utilizing NetCurrents' premium services the ability to monitor information in real-time about their company's online image and reputation. MobilePerceptions is now available to new and existing NetCurrents' premium CyberPerceptions customers at no additional cost. Mobile Perceptions provides 24/7 access to online sentiment charts, messages posted and wireless notifications based on alert criteria.
MobilePerceptions wireless capability will give new and existing NetCurrents' customers the ability to check for the latest messages and shifts in opinion wherever they happen to be. MobilePerceptions provides access to online sentiment charts, messages posted on Internet discussion groups, and wireless notifications based on a company's alert criteria.
``MobilePerceptions is yet another example of NetCurrents' ability to provide IR, PR and corporate professionals with the tools necessary to quickly evaluate and initiate responses to rumors and misinformation about their company on the Internet,'' said Rebecca Callahan, Vice President of Sales. ``Remote access to NetCurrents' online services will give our customers the up-to-date information they need to do their jobs, without being tied to a desk.''
The MobilePerceptions offers several unique features:
Real-time summary of online topics - Graphical bar chart displays the top five most talked about topics of online discussion with sentiment, allowing you to quickly assess your company's overall online perception.
Top poster identity - Track online discussions by Poster ID of your company's most vocal supporters and critics.
Message drill-down capability - Read and evaluate Internet communications remotely by topic or Poster ID and know specifically what is being said about your company, products or services online.
Alert capability - Be informed of rapidly changing events as they happen with message notifications defined by your company's unique needs and requirements.
About NetCurrents, Inc.
NetCurrents, The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, analyzes communications from more than 65,000 targeted Internet locations in real-time. The company provides clients with critical information and counsel protection of their corporate image, measure consumers' perceptions and counter misinformation on Internet. Due to the sensitivity of businesses that require this type of technology and analysis, confidentiality of NetCurrents' clients is assured.
For more information about the company and its products and services, visit the company's Website at www.netcurrents.com.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 37A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties. A number of factors could cause actual results to differ from those indicated in the forward-looking statements, including the Company's ability to continue to successfully market and provide MobilePerceptions services and maintain its effectiveness, and general economic conditions. The Company undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise forward-looking statements whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact:
Allen & Caron Inc.
Matt Clawson (investors) or Len Hall (media)
949/474-4300
matt@allencaron.com
len@allencaron.com
http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/001205/ca_netcurr.html
Web Watchdog NetCurrents
Discovers Trouble at Home
By Aaron Elstein
WSJ.com
Like a professional tattletale, NetCurrents Inc.'s business is to notify other companies when they are the subject of rumors and unfounded allegations on the Internet. But now NetCurrents is fighting statements made in its virtual backyard.
The Burlingame, Calif., company is suing two former top executives who allegedly posted "false" and "defamatory" statements about NetCurrents on a Web message board.
The suit, filed Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court, alleges that the company's former chief operating officer, Victor Holtorf, and a former sales executive, James Maloney, were among those posting defamatory messages on a Yahoo! message board. NetCurrents contends their statements were intended to "frighten and intimidate shareholders into selling their shares," depress the company's stock price and cause employees "to turn against present management so as to create an opportunity for Victor Holtorf to gain control of management."
NetCurrents seeks unspecified damages and an injunction to halt the defendants from posting further "false" messages. Mr. Holtorf, who lives in San Mateo County, Calif., according to court documents, and Mr. Maloney of San Francisco, couldn't be reached, and court officials said they didn't know who is representing them.
NetCurrents Chairman Irwin Meyer said his company filed the suit to protect its reputation as a pioneer in the fast-growing business of monitoring message-boards for corporate clients.
"We were asked, 'How can we be in the business of monitoring for others and not address our own problems?' " he said during a conference call with investors Tuesday to discuss third-quarter earnings. The company has "gathered sufficient evidence to support our claims" by using its "proprietary technology" and is prepared to fight the case "to the fullest," Mr. Meyer said.
NetCurrents competitors include several closely held companies, such as Internet Crimes Group, Princeton, N.J., eWatch, owned by the New York press-release distributor PR Newswire, CyberAlert of Stratford, Conn., Cyveillance of Arlington, Va., and MindfulEye of Vancouver, British Columbia.
Even the U.S. government is getting involved in Web surveillance. In August, the Securities and Exchange Commission awarded employee-owned Science Applications International Corp., San Diego, a $4.9 million contract to develop software to detect online fraud.
This long list of watchdogs underscores the growing popularity of online stock message boards. Much of what is said in these forums are opinions and speculation, but rumors sometimes emerge that affect stock prices and offend company managers.
"More and more companies are looking to outside firms to take the temperature of the boards," says Blake Bell, a New York lawyer who tracks defamation cases involving the Internet. "It is a growth business."
David Sobel, general counsel at the Electronic Privacy Information Center in Washington, says companies are wise to monitor the Internet to correct inaccurate information. "If they're doing surveillance with the idea of retribution, however, that's a different matter," he says.
NetCurrents, whose clients include software-giant Oracle Corp. and Internet service provider EarthLink Inc., uses its proprietary software to measure "combined overall Internet sentiment" by scanning 63,000 Web sites, including message boards run by Yahoo, Raging Bull , Silicon Investor and The Motley Fool . In an interview earlier this month, Mr. Meyer says his company notifies clients when materially false information is published but ignores posts that are purely personal, such as those that insult top executives.
When Oracle's stock fell 29% earlier this month on false rumors that its chief financial officer was leaving and Chairman Lawrence Ellison had died, NetCurrents quickly notified Oracle, which promptly denied them and minimized the damage to its share price, Mr. Meyer said.
Oracle spokeswoman Jennifer Glass said she learned about the rumors from inquiring reporters before hearing from NetCurrents. Still, she says, the service is useful. "They send us a report every month telling us what people on the boards are saying," she says. "It's good to know."
NetCurrents remains unprofitable. On Tuesday, it posted a loss of $1.9 million, or seven cents a share, compared with a loss of $813,000, or seven cents a share, in the year-earlier period, when it had fewer shares outstanding. Revenue nearly quadrupled to $477,000.
At 4 p.m. Wednesday, its stock was unchanged at 97 cents on the Nasdaq Stock Market, far from its 52-week high of $11.94 in March.
Nonetheless, Mr. Meyer was optimistic about his company's prospects during Tuesday's conference call, saying there is ample demand for its services.
Meanwhile, his company has begun a legal battle against Mr. Holtorf, who was president of privately held Infolocity Inc., which merged last December to form NetCurrents.
Mr. Holtorf served as chief operating officer at NetCurrents until Sept. 1, according to court documents. At that time, he allegedly was posting messages online, saying that Mr. Meyer was "spending money illegally and frivolously ... [and] deceived the public and investors by keeping its true expenditures hidden." NetCurrents also alleges that Mr. Holtorf made false and disparaging statements about the company at an October meeting that he initiated with investors who own 1.7 million NetCurrents shares.
And the company says Mr. Holtorf has been "causing general confusion" among employees by showing up at its offices and telling some people that he was planning to oust management and gain control of NetCurrents.
Write to Aaron Elstein at aaron.elstein@wsj.com
http://public.wsj.com/sn/y/SB97431135999605777.html
NetCurrents Inc. Reports Third Quarter, Nine-Month Results
Third Quarter Internet Monitoring Revenues Up Strongly Over This Year's Second Quarter
BURLINGAME, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Nov. 14, 2000--NetCurrents Inc. (Nasdaq:NTCS - news), The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, today announced operating results for its third quarter and first nine months ended Sept. 30, 2000.
According to NetCurrents Chief Executive Officer Irwin Meyer, the continued growth in client base and the expanded use of NetCurrents' flagship products by corporate clients led to record growth in Web monitoring revenues for the period.
``Third quarter monitoring revenues reflected a significant increase from monitoring revenues in the second quarter of this year,'' Meyer said, ``Our client base has increased every month and is continuing to trend up in the fourth quarter. We are currently targeting a client base of more than 100 by year end, with Internet monitoring revenues for the fourth quarter alone, expected to approach the level of total revenue for first nine months of the year.''
For the third quarter ended Sept. 30, 2000, total revenues were $477,103 with a loss from operations of $ 1,893,909 and a comprehensive loss applicable to common shareholders of $ 2,090,056, or a loss per share of $0.07 including a non-cash charge of $106,250 for quarterly dividends payable in Common Stock to holders of the company's Series A and cash of $2,213 payable holders of Series G Preferred Stock. This compares to total revenues of $120,251 and a net loss from operations of $776,057 and a comprehensive loss applicable to common shareholders of $919,551 or $0.67 loss per share for the third quarter ended Sept. 30, 1999 of last year. In last year's third quarter, the company recorded total charges of $106,250 for stock dividends paid to holders of all classes of its Preferred Stock. Revenues for this year's first nine months were derived principally from the sale of the company's Internet intelligence products and services, while revenues in all prior periods were derived primarily from entertainment production activities, a business which the company no longer actively pursues.
Revenues for the first nine months of this year were $1,089,883 with a loss from operations of $5,891,431 and a comprehensive loss applicable to common shareholders of $6,601,735, or a loss per share of $0.22 compared to revenues of $2,655,904 and a net loss per share of $0.10 for the same period last year. This year's first nine-month results included non-cash charges of $318,750 for quarterly dividends payable in Common Stock to holders of the company's Series A Preferred Stock and $24,463 in cash dividends payable to holders of the company's Series G Preferred Stock. During the first nine months of last year, the company recorded total charges of $385,000 for cash and non-cash dividends paid to holders of the company's Series A and E Preferred Stock.
``I continue to be encouraged by the progress we are making in expanding our technology, introducing new products and developing new strategic sales partnerships,'' Meyer continued. ``The alliances we have with Thomson Financial/Carson (TFC) and Burrelle's Information Services will now begin to produce revenues. Our relationship Kroll Risk Consulting Services has already begun to generate revenues and has also resulted in excellent corporate exposure, both in the media and in the executive suites of many corporate accounts. We believe that each of these companies will leverage our internal efforts and help to accelerate our already rapid growth. The TFC rollout began October 3, with an initial 185 clients, with the balance of the first 500 to be online November 30.''
According to NetCurrents Chief Financial Officer Michael Iscove, the company's balance sheet as of Sept. 30, 2000 remained showed cash and cash equivalents of $4.9 million, a current ratio of 6:1 and total shareholders equity of $6.6 million.
About NetCurrents Inc.
NetCurrents, The Premier Internet Intelligence Agency, analyzes communications from more than 50,000 targeted Internet locations in real-time. The company provides clients with critical information and counsel to protect their corporate image, measure consumers' perceptions, and counter misinformation on the Internet. Due to the sensitivity of businesses that require this type of technology and analysis, the confidentiality of NetCurrents' clients is assured. For more information visit our Web site at www.netcurrents.com.
This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 37A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties. A number of factors could cause actual results to differ from those indicated in the forward-looking statements, including the company's ability to continue to successfully market and provide services and maintain its effectiveness, the continuation and success of its strategic alliances, general economic conditions and other risks that are discussed in the company's filings with the Securities and Exchange Commissions (including the company's Annual Report on Form 10K-SB). The company undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise forward-looking statements whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
Netcurrents Inc.
Summary Consolidated Statements of Operations
(Unaudited)
Three Months Ended Nine Months Ended
Sept. 30, Sept. 30,
2000 1999 2000 1999
Revenues: $ 477,103 $120,251 $1,089,883 $2,655,904
Cost of sales -- 3,009 -- 1,140,169
Selling, general and
administrative 2,371,012 893,299 6,981,314 2,253,725
Loss from
operations $(1,893,909) $(776,057) $(5,891,431) $(737,990)
Other income
(expense) (6,484) (37,244) 31,272 (220,795)
Net loss $(1,900,393) $(813,301) $(5,860,159) $(958,785)
Dividend
requirements (108,463) (106,250) (343,213) (385,000)
Unrealized loss
on investment (81,200) -- (398,363) --
Comprehensive loss
applicable to common
shareholders $(2,090,056) $(919,551) $(6,601,735) $(1,343,785)
Net loss per common share:
Basic and diluted $(0.07) $(0.67) $(0.22) $(0.10)
Weighted average number
of common shares
outstanding 30,674,692 13,683,659 30,674,692 13,683,659
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact:
Allen & Caron Inc.
Matt Clawson (investors), 949/474-4300
matt@allencaron.com
or
Len Hall (media), 949/474-4300
len@allencaron.com
http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/001114/ca_netcurr.html