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I hate to admit it but I think you are correct about this stock...
I saw a billboard sign that said:
NEED HELP, CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787
Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
Jane and Arlene
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy..
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
.10 would be nice .20 would be better
another investor site is showcasing FUTR. They're saying big days ahead next stop .10
I have faith in your trading skills that's why I'm glad to see you here. If you're here I'm sure it'll take off. I've been in this one for quite sometime.
same ole chit...how have you been bro
hello monk glad to see you here
.045 X .05 looking good
.044 X. 045 NICE
lets see a 10 bagger
Sad Day
(Feb. 28) — Radio legend Paul Harvey, whose news and commentary segments always ended with his distinctive sign-off, "Paul Harvey....good day," died Saturday at the age of 90, ABC Radio Network says.
Network spokesman Louis Adams says Harvey died Saturday at his winter home in Phoenix, surrounded by family. No cause of death was immediately available.
Skip over this content
In MemoriamMark Wilson, Getty Images17 photos Paul Harvey
Broadcasting pioneer
Read Answers (116)
Harvey never viewed himself as a newsman, even though some 18 million people tuned into his daily reports to hear his 15-minute take on the day's events.
"I'm a professional parade watcher who can't wait to get out of bed every morning and rush down to the teletypes to pan for gold," he told CNN's Larry King in 1988.
That he did with a vengeance since those teletype days in 1951, arriving at his Chicago studio in the pre-dawn hours to produce two news and commentary segments and his evening The Rest of the Story (written by his son, Paul) which were carried on some 1,100 radio stations and 400 Armed Forces Radio Network stations.
He based himself in Chicago, flew aboard his Lear jet to give corporate speeches and commuted by limo each day from his 27-room home in suburban River Forest, Ill., to his 16th floor studio above a street sign that reads Paul Harvey Drive.
When Harvey was 81 in 2000, his sole employer for all those years, ABC Radio Networks, signed him to a 10-year, $100 million contract. Rivals who had lost in the bidding told him they'd be back in 2010.
Harvey's ability to sell products in advertisements, via spots that read and which flowed seamlessly from his news stories, were legendary. He is considered the greatest radio salesman of all time and sponsors — only one in 15 were accepted — were required to sign on for at least a year.
"I can't look down on the commercial sponsors of these broadcasts," he told CBS in 1988. "Too often they have very, very important messages to put across. Without advertising in this country, my goodness, we'd still be in this country what Russia mostly still is: a nation of bearded cyclists with b.o."
The idea of retirement never occured to either Harvey or his wife, Angel, whom he married in 1940 and who was his producing partner throughout his career.
"I've got an old country boy's philosophy," he told The Chicago Tribune in a 2002 interview. "When the car's running, you don't look inside the carburator. Just keep rolling."
More Stories He got his start in radio in high school in Tulsa at age 14 when a speech teacher was so impressed with his voice that she took him to a local radio station, KVOO-AM and told the program director that Harvey belonegd on radio.
He began reading news, making announcements — and sweeping floors — and a year later began getting paid."It is impossible in print to capture the rhythm and flow of his delivery, a series of pauases, dramatic and playful inflections that combine to create somethng like a piece of perfomance art, a verbal telegraph," writer Rock Kogan wrote in his Tribune profile.
The conservative label attached itself to Harvey, a God-and country advocate who called welfare recipients "pusillanimous parasites." He supported Sen. Joe McCathy's tactics in the early 50s.
Critics blasted him during the tumultuous Vietnam War years in the 60s and 70s, but he made one of his most famous flip-flops on that war, declaring on the air to President Nixon: "Mr. President, I love you but you are wrong."
But unlike partisan radio hosts such as Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, Harvey's appeal was "that he did not represent any kind of movement, not any kind of format," said Michael Harrison, editor of Talkers magazine, a radio trade publicatio. "He just represented himself and that is highest compliment and highest form broadcasting: when are successful for just who you are and for being there so long."
Tom Taylor, editor of Inside Radio, said that Harvey was "like the oldest and still the tallestredwood in the wholeforest, a living reminder of the power ofwords on the radio — and of silence. Most talent in radio rushes to fill 'dead air' but Paul understood the value of the right pause at the right time. You'd sometimes literally hold your breath to see what 'the rest.. .of the story' was.
Said Taylor: "Paul had absolutely no equal when it came to the sheer art of how to use a radio microphone, and several generations of radio newspeople studied his delivery. He tried television but it wasn't his medium. Radio was, and he owned it.When Paul was speaking, how could you not listen, even if you disagreed with his commentary."
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top News Photos
> FIRST TIME SEX
> ..............
> A girl asks her
> boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have
> dinner with her parents.
> Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her
> boyfriend that
> after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for
> the first time.
> The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
> he takes a trip to
> the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the
> pharmacist it's his first
> time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an
> hour. He tells the boy
> everything there is to know about condoms & sex... At
> the register, the
> pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to
> buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or
> family pack.
>
> The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he
> will be rather
> busy, it being his first time & all.
>
> That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
> house & meets his
> girlfriend at the door.
> 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
> come on in!'
>
> The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table
> where the girl's parents
> are seated.
> The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A
> minute passes & the
> boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
>
> 10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy.
> Finally, after 20 minutes
> with his head down, the girlfriend leans over &
> whispers to the boyfriend,
> 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
>
> The boy turns & whispers back, 'I had no idea your
> father was a pharmacist.'
>
shhh!! you promised not to tell LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
not funny
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, ''Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said, ''The Double Mint Twins are coming'' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,'' Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,'' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ''William's Big Stick Did the Trick,'' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, ''Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident''...... I just lost it.''
''CASE DISMISSED!!''
watched a program last night...scientist say that if every star in the universe was the size of a pea there would be enough to fill up a basketball stadium.
A perfect lover is a guy with a nine inch tongue who can breathe through his
ears.
It's not the length.
It's not the size.
It's how many times he can make it rise.
There are three sizes of men:
Small, medium, and OH MY GOD!!!!
From the Dick Purtan radio show:
A man and woman the morning after their honeymoon night were discussing the
previous evenings' events. The woman says, "You are a terrible lover!". The
man replies, "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So, she proceeded
to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their
wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite
of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got
undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When
he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover a twelve-inch
erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.
Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"
The elderly gentleman replied, "There are just two things I can't stand: the
sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."
nice reply:)
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.
Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He
opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they except that
as proof.
He goes home to his wife, show's her the check, and explains to her what has
happened.
She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you
can get disability!"
A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over
and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips
his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis.
When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells
back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for
you, Drop Dead!!"
"And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!"
A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some
preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally
got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing.
The fellow asked her what she found so amusing.
"Your organ," she replied. "It's a bit on the small side."
Hurt, he replied, "It's not used to playing in cathedrals."
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he
passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a
moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she
gets mad at me for sucking my thumb."
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on
the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm
sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later,
he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
too?."
thanks I'll read it when I get some time
happy v-day
-----------------
Forwarded Message:
Subj: Democrats Use "Stimulus" as Cover for More Gun Control
A special message from The Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms:
Dem's Use "Stimulus" as Cover for More Gun Control
Dear Concerned Citizen,
The liberals are at it again. In a new bill introduced the first day of the present session of Congress, and with zero coverage from the MSM, H.R. 45 (Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009) targets all gun owners in the U.S.A. While the media the world and everyone else is focused on the "phony plan" to spend tax dollars legislation is sneeking through the House and Senate for more gun control.
This nefarious bill seeks to strip us all of our Constitutional Rights to possess and bear firearms of any distinction. It requires, within the first two years, that all new guns be registered. The bill goes retroactive after two years. Meaning that two years after the passage of the bill, ALL FIREARMS in a citizen's possession must be registered, not just those purchased after the bill passes, and this apparently applies to antique firearms as well.
Select Here to Reject Gun Bans and Fax to all 100 Senators and all 435 House Representatives
https://secure.conservativedonations.com/ccrkba_fax/?a=2100
Every five years the firearm owner must go through a complete renewal process for each weapon owned. Failure to comply carries stiff penalties including confiscation of the firearms and jail time (penalties as high as ten years imprisonment in some cases). The bill also authorizes government searches without warrant, the creation of a federal bureaucracy to monitor firearm possession, etc.
The following is a summary of the bill as provided by the Congressional Research Service. If you read the whole bill, you'll find it will effectively preclude the ownership of any firearms by law-abiding people unless directly licensed by the Attorney General :
1/6/2009--Introduced. Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009 - Amends the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act to prohibit a person from possessing a firearm unless that person has been issued a firearm license under this Act or a state system certified under this Act and such license has not been invalidated or revoked. Prescribes license application, issuance, and renewal requirements.
Prohibits transferring or receiving a qualifying firearm unless the recipient presents a valid firearms license, the license is verified, and the dealer records a tracking authorization number. Prescribes firearms transfer reporting and record keeping requirements. Directs the Attorney General to establish and maintain a federal record of sale system.
Prohibits:
Transferring a firearm to any person other than a licensee, unless the transfer is processed through a licensed dealer in accordance with national instant criminal background check system requirements, with exceptions;
Licensed manufacturer or dealer from failing to comply with reporting and record keeping requirements of this Act;
Failing to report the loss or theft of the firearm to the Attorney General within 72 hours;
Failing to report to the Attorney General an address change within 60 days;
Keeping a loaded firearm, or an unloaded firearm and ammunition for the firearm, knowingly or recklessly disregarding the risk that a child is capable of gaining access, if a child uses the firearm and causes death or serious bodily injury.
Prescribes criminal penalties for violations of firearms provisions covered by this Act. Directs the Attorney General to:
Establish and maintain a firearm injury information clearinghouse;
Conduct continuing studies and investigations of firearm-related deaths and injuries; and
Collect and maintain current production and sales figures of each licensed manufacturer. Authorizes the Attorney General to certify state firearm licensing or record of sale systems.
Like all other threats against our freedoms, we must rise and defeat this bill, slap it down hard.
Select Here Fax all 435 House Representatives
In order to stop Schumer and Feinstein and there fellow gun-grabbers—we need to let the Congress know with thousands of faxes telling them to leave guns alone.
Americans like you who understand what our Founding Fathers envisioned for our nation...and who are willing to fight to defend our Constitution and for what it stands.
So please, help the Citizens Committee and me defeat those who wish to gut and trash the United States Constitution.
Help me flood the U.S. Senate and the House with the sea of FAXES big enough to drown each and every Senator and Representative willing to vote away the Second Amendment.
Please, send your Donation and FAX TODAY!
Select Here Fax all 535 in the Congress
Keep calling your Senators today, toll free numbers include 1-877-851-6437 and 1-866-220-0044, or call toll 1-202-225-3121 AND REGISTER YOU'RE OUTRAGE at ongoing efforts to take guns away!
CALL PRESIDENT OBAMA, 202-456-1111 and 202-456-1414 expressing your disdain and ABSOLUTE REJECTION of all GUN BANS.
DO NOT BE SILENCED – MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD!
NOTE: We need TENS OF THOUSANDS of faxes and PHONE CALLS and EMAILS delivered to ALL Senators and Representives right away!
For our projects to be successful, we must count on the voluntary financial support from individuals like you who care.
Your contribution of $20 or $25 is urgently needed today.
Your donation for just $10 will help so much. If you can afford to send $50 or $100 or more it would truly be a godsend.
Remember, protecting our freedom is not inexpensive.
But then, it's impossible to put a price tag on freedom.
Select Here NOW Send Your Most Generous Donation
Together, we can preserve the Constitutional rights our Founding Fathers intended our people to have forever.
For more information about CCRKBA go to http://www.ccrkba.org
Thank you. I know I can count on you.
Sincerely,
Alan Gottlieb
Chairman
Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
If you prefer to donate by check, please mail to:
The Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
12500 NE Tenth Place
Dept Code 2100
Bellevue, Washington 98004
P.S. Take the Emergency Gun Survey let us know where you stand. Did you know that since Barack Obama was elected President 3 people make a donation to an anti-gun group every minute?
EMERGENCY GUN RIGHTS SURVEY
That's almost a million and a half contributions aimed at you — and your gun rights every year!
With Obama in the White House and anti-gunners in control of key committees in Congress, the gun grabbers are out for blood.
Select Here NOW I urgently need you to fill out the EMERGENCY GUN RIGHTS SURVEY registered in your name.
https://secure.conservativedonations.com/ccrkba_survey/?a=2100
We at the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms have launched this new nationwide campaign to rally gun owners and freedom loving Americans behind an effort to protect our constitutional rights.
THIS IS IMPORTANT. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WISH TO ANSWER YOUR SURVEY, OR ARE UNDECIDED ABOUT SOME QUESTIONS, PLEASE FILL IT OUT TODAY by SELECTING HERE.
http://www.ccrkba.org/
Gun Alerts
12500 N.E. Tenth Place - Bellevue, WA 98005 US
-----------------
Forwarded Message:
Subj: Millionaire Patriot Wants YOU Armed and Trained
https://www.frontsight.com/free-gun.asp
Please DO NOT REPLY to this message. Replies will not be seen.
Use the information at the bottom for e-mail address changes, subscription issues, and to contact GOPUSA.
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MILLIONAIRE PATRIOT WANTS YOU ARMED AND TRAINED
Offers His Own Money to Provide You With Springfield Armory Pistol and 30-State Concealed Weapon Permit
Dear GOPUSA reader,
The next four years may prove to be a turning point for all freedom loving Americans.
With the new administration holding party majorities in the House and Senate, we are facing the worst political environment for the passage of unchecked gun control legislation and further erosion of our constitutional right to bear arms than we have previously seen in our lifetimes.
As the nation creeps from recession to depression, the potential for civil unrest in every major city grows more likely. There has never been a more crucial time in our nation's history to make sure you are armed and trained for the protection of yourself and your family.
One man in our country knows this better than most, and I'm proud to tell you, he is doing something about it.
His name is Dr. Ignatius Piazza.
He is the Founder and Director of Front Sight Firearms Training Institute and is known by his hundreds of thousands of students as 'The Millionaire Patriot' because he has literally given away millions of dollars in free and discounted training to law abiding citizens to assist them is securing what he refers to as "The Comfort of Skill at Arms."
Dr. Piazza, the Millionaire Patriot, wants YOU armed and trained and he is putting his money where his mouth is.
He is providing you with the opportunity to attend five days of world class training at his Front Sight Firearms Training Institute with everything you need to secure permits to carry a concealed handgun in over 30 states—all for pennies-on-the-dollar!
Plus, if you act quickly before all the guns he set aside are gone, he will give you, free of charge, a Springfield Armory XD Pistol in your choice of 9mm, .40SW, or .45ACP!
That's right. This is legitimate. Thousands of people have already taken advantage of it AND YOU SHOULD TOO!
I can personally vouch for Dr. Piazza and his Front Sight Firearms Training Institute.
I believe now more than ever before that EVERY American should be armed and trained to the highest levels possible—levels that exceed law enforcement and military standards. Take advantage of the Millionaire Patriot's offer. Get armed and trained to prepare for what may be coming in the next four years!
NOW is the time to get armed and trained. Don't wait until it is too late.
Click for more details about the Millionaire Patriot's amazing offer.
Sincerely,
Joseph Farah
Editor and Chief Executive Officer
www.WorldNetDaily.com
P.S., You have never seen me make such a personal endorsement, so take heed to the fact that I am telling you to take advantage of Dr. Piazza's offer to get five days of world class training at Front Sight, concealed weapon permits good in 30 states, and a FREE Springfield Armory XD Pistol.
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Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and polite. One
day while taking dictation, she noticed that his fly was open. When leaving the
office, she said, "Oh, Mr. Smith, did you know that your barrack's door is
open?" He did not understand her remark, but later he happened to look down and
saw that his zipper was open.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks
door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, being quite witty, replied, "Why no, Mr. Smith, all I saw was
a little disabled veteran sitting on two old duffle bags!"
The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty.
When he confronted his wife about it, she simply told him, "It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?!" yelled the husband.
"In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years.
Now, it's my turn."
A bill introduced in the Georgia legislature in January 1994 by Rep. Doug Teper
of Alabama would require warnings in all hotel roooms that fornication,
adultery, and sodomy are illegal in the state. The bill also requires that the
warnings be in Braille and "internationally recognized symbols," which were not
specified.
There are nine very important men in a woman's life. They are:
Her Doctor; he says, "Take your clothes off."
Her Dentist; he says, "Open wide."
Her Veterinarian; he says, "And how is your little pussy doing today?"
Her Gardener; he says, "Do you want me to mulch your bush?"
Her Hairdresser; he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"
Her Interior Decorator; he says, "You'll like it once it's in."
Her Remodeler; he says, "It fits tongue-in-groove with a little hammering."
Her Milkman; he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"
Her Banker; he says, "If you take it out, you'll lose interest."
my son is addicted to that game. He's only allowed to play it on weekends
that's a good one
and gas prices go up at least in Florida
Sex Humor
part I
Adult Humour Menu
Various Ways To Say "Having Sex"
Bang
Be the rug doctor
Beaver shooting
Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen
Bend her over and load her like a shotgun
Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out
Bite the bearded clam
Bob the knob
Boink
Bone Smuggling
Bopping
Bottom knockin'
Bounce the Brillo
Break her open like a shotgun
Buff the helmet
Buffing
Bumping uglies
Bury the hatchet
Butter her muffin
Carpet munching
Check her oil
Clean the carpet
Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking
Cuttin' a slice
Dance the buttock jig
Dent the egg
Dip your wick
Do it
Do the horizontal mambo
Do the Wild Thing
Doing it
Doing the nasty
Dueling Bedsprings
Eat at the Y
Feed the bear
Fenorking
Fit pipe
Flat Dancing
Fooling around
Fuck
Get a leg over
Get your bone honed
Get your noodle wet
Gettin' Busy
Getting you ashes hauled
Getting your bunny boiled
Getting your canoe shellacked
Getting your horns filed
Getting your weiner wet
Give her the time
Giving her a pearl necklace
Go like a rat up a rhododendron
Goin' horizontal
Hammerin'
Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck)
He hasn't had his tires rotated in months
Hide and shriek
Hide the HotDog
Hide the sausage
Hiding the salami
Hobble
Hose
I wanna bust that body
I'm having lunch at the Y. It's a box lunch - furburgers!
I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe
Lay cable
Lay pipe
Lay the hen
Let's go "Whale some babes"!
Make it
Man, I'd fuck her like a tied yard-dog
Muff dive
Negotiate the forested chasm
Park his car in her garage
Pin her legs back like a Safeway chicken
Play hide the salami
Playing doctor
Poke the yolk
Poking the sushi
Poking the whisker biscuit
Pop you c==k
Pump
Put his snake through her grass
Ride the skin bus into Tuna town
Ring the cash register
Romping
Rope a poke
Saturate the ferrod
Screw
Sharpen the pencil
She hasn't had her ticket punched since Ike carried his own golf clubs
Sink the Pink
Slam her clam
Slam some Ham
Slice the muffin
Slip her the hot beef injection
Slip her the tubesteak!
Slip her the whale
Slip the Salami
Snake her
So horny I have to stand on my hands to pee
Some nookie-nookie honey
Splooge, spunk, gack, splooey
Stoke her yoke
Strop one's beak
Stuff her muff
Stuff the bunny
Swallow the swan
Tame her shrew
Tap your tailpipe
The beast with two backs
The nasty
Tube steak boogie
Varnish one's cane
Wax your candle
Work the hairy oracle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't
so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he
decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife
picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
A young boy asks his Grandmother how old she is, to which she replies "That's
none of your business."
So he asks her how much she weighs and again she replies "thats none of your
business."
So he asks her why she and Grandpa sleep in separate bedrooms. Grandma gets
angry at this point and sends him off to play.
The boy goes straight to his Grandpa and explains what happened and his
grandpa tells him that Grandmothers are like that, but if he really wants to
know to, sneak a peak at her drivers license in her purse.
Later, the little boy approaches Grandma and says "I know that you are 64
years old, weigh 147 pounds, and that the reason you don't sleep with Grandpa is
because you got an "F" in 'Sex'
NEW AFGAN TOWNS
Now that American B-52's are reorganizing Afghanistan's landscape, US intelligence has discovered that the Taliban have renamed some of their towns to confuse us.
These new names include:
1. Wherz-Myroof
2. Mykamel-Izded
3. Oshit-Disisbad
4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon
5. Pleez-Ztopdishit
6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi
7. Ikantstan-Disnomore
8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin
9. Myturbin-Izburnin
10. Imma-Dedshmuck