Replies to post #103406 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

oh yeah....

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Get the tools out. It may be the perfect time to deal with small details that could trip you up like roller skates on the stairs and loose screws on the cabinet door. There is no time like the present to fix things.

-- March 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Play games of skill and chance. Romantic interludes might be scarce this weekend, so engage in games that have plenty of picayune rules to occupy your time. Leave an old flame on the back burner.

-- March 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't be fooled. You are romantic and full of fun, so someone may think you are serious about a relationship. It isn't wise to latch onto a passing fancy this week and try to make it a lasting event.

-- March 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't find shamrocks in a desert. You could be under the mistaken impression that an alluring mirage is real. A budding romance might not turn out as well as you hope if you begin it under these stars.

-- March 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The start you make today could be a false one. You may note that other people make a bundle of money through a certain investment - but your own timing might not be appropriate. Get more information.

-- March 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Step out of the background and use your charm to influence others. Avoid the trap of thinking that more things will bring you happiness. In the end, it is the joy you bring to others that really counts.

-- March 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The first day of spring might not seem as encouraging as it usually does. There may be extra responsibilities on your schedule that prevent you from looking for buds on the trees. Keep your chin up.

-- March 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put things in perspective. This full moon may point out how much you and a loved one differ about joint ambitions. Use the coming month to find ways to strike a compromise and accomplish mutual dreams.

-- March 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Maintain a wait-and-see attitude regarding an important matter, but give in to a passing whim on a small one. A significant other might surprise you with a change of plans that can affect the holiday weekend.

-- March 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Wallow in chocolate. Those holiday treats might be just what you need to boost your spirits. Banish concerns lurking in the background and concentrate on entertainments, pleasures, creativity, and love.

-- March 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Go for it. Making an impact with a creative idea could be like shooting fish in a barrel. A flash of inspiration could turn a humdrum project into something that grabs the imagination of the public.

-- March 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't light that fire. Argument and aggression make people uncomfortable, so make a determined effort to be charming. You could receive valuable clues to monetary success by keeping ears open.

-- March 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Saccharine sweetness may be a tool used to express aggressive one-upmanship. Ignore exaggerated claims and challenging deadlines. Don't take your friends for granted or expect too much from relatives.

-- March 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M
factory?

A: For throwing out the W's.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Tempt them with good taste. You needn't follow the trends if everyone else goes out on a limb to experiment with a fashion craze. Don't splurge on fleeting things that won't serve your future needs.

-- March 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Get out and stretch your muscles. Bowling, biking or even dancing might be a better choice than sitting on the couch. Your special someone needs to take on a challenge and let off some steam.

-- March 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. This is not a good time to ante up your heart. Remain footloose and fancy-free, even if several fascinating people vie for your undivided attention.

-- March 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Being honest and candid will reap the biggest rewards in the week to come. If you play the field or explore attractive 'greener' pastures, you will ultimately realize that happiness is in your own back yard.

-- March 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife...

Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.



Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.



Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.



Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.



Day 5
What absolute bliss!!.



Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.



Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.



Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.



Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.



Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....



Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.



Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous...



Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.



Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!



Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and fuck himself and he did.



Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.



Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again!



Day 18
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Today would make an excellent Day 1. It is time to make a fresh start with any endeavor, be it a new project, a diet or a relationship. Forget the past and move forward to the future. Set your own goals.

-- March 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You have all the time in the world. Avoid trying to rush things or mistakes will surely follow. Take your time and do the job right the first time. The tortoise reminds you that slow and steady wins the race.

-- April 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fresh horizons may appear in a new light. Be careful to deliberate before accepting offers or yielding to temptations. A choice made now could have a tremendous impact on your immediate future.

-- April 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may spot a lucrative new opportunity where none existed before. Be sure to share your ideas with a close friend who could assist in this endeavor. Careful investigation is necessary before diving in.

-- April 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Today you're likely to be gullible. It is tempting to suspend your disbelief. Don't make key purchases or irrevocable decisions. Enjoy wearing your bling; it will remind you that all that glitters isn't gold.

-- April 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Call up an old friend you've lost touch with. Your truest, bluest buddies will be glad to hear from you. Try to stay focused on old friends and committed relationships.

-- April 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't peek through keyholes unless you're ready to see something you'd rather not. Everyone needs to keep their little secrets or maintain certain illusions. This week, mind your own business.

-- April 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Love means never having to say you're sorry - or so that movie would have you believe. Even so, don't do or say anything that requires an apology and then you won't need to test out this theory.

-- April 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your career opportunities fit together with the advice you've been given like a finely cut jigsaw puzzle. This isn't a good time to experiment with investments or to rely on the assurances of a stranger.

-- April 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Business as usual may mean unusual business. You may be inspired to initiate a fresh business plan. This could be a good day for presenting your ideas since people think you have a lot on the ball.

-- April 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Play the waiting game. Avoid arguments and do not sign on the dotted line or make an irrevocable decision. Hidden hostilities could undermine an agreement or contract that is put into motion today.

-- April 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Ask questions and glow with friendliness. Part of your allure is a sincere interest in others that they sense and respond to with warmth. Concentrate on networking, as your name will be passed around.

-- April 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Listen for inspiration. Someone close could say the magic words that unlock a treasure trove of creativity. Trying your hand at something you have never tried before may make you feel better about your self.

-- April 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You've got to hide your love away. Getting away from it all with the one you hold most dear might yield dramatic results. During the week ahead, you may be called upon to serve as the peacemaker.

-- April 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

Roseanne: I "Had Vaginal Rejuvenation Surgery"

[teapeebubbles]

dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.


Dear Diary...

For my 50th birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball team, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Bruce, who identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the entire time he was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

Thursday:
Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.

Friday:
I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.) The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday:
Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Get yourself noticed. A strong presentation will make a good first impression in matters of business and romance. Let your personality flow without self-consciousness and you'll find you are in high demand.

-- April 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Keep loyalties reserved for those who deserve them. Remain focused on actions of the past and remember whom you can really trust. Future plans with a romantic interest could be set in motion.

-- April 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Look for the negative to complement your positive. Romance might blossom with someone who could be a perfect fit. Follow your heart to a passionate interlude.

-- April 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

[teapeebubbles]

My friend admitted she was forty but she didn't say
when.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Today belongs to the stars, and you feel like one of them. Everyone you come in contact with will be drawn to the magnetism you exude. Overconfidence or egotistical behavior, however, could be your undoing.

-- April 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: TGIF! Put on your boogie shoes and get ready to paint the town red. Tonight will be a night to remember, as you are likely to excel in social settings. Use the buddy system to forestall something more intimate.

-- April 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Expect the unexpected. Plans may change or go awry, and you could be faced with opposition to what you set out to achieve. Roll with the punches and try to be understanding of the needs of others.

-- April 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Skim the surface in public and delve deeply in private. The ambitions that are tweaked this week must be kept to yourself. A significant other may urge you to take a chance when caution is called for.

-- April 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Break with tradition. Although it is tempting to pay lip service to certain social niceties, you will do better to follow the lead of someone who is known to be a trailblazer. Keep a lid on spending.

-- April 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Seeing is believing. Promises are temporarily a dime a dozen, so don't put your heart or your money on the line unless you have proof that assurances are founded in fact. Flirtations brighten the day.

-- April 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Flirting can cause hurting. Much more is promised than is ever going to manifest, so you might be wise to back away from a potential new hookup. The person who is all sugar and spice might be insincere.

-- April 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The laws of attraction require that you let good things come to you without effort. Right now someone is trying to force an issue and that may spoil the harmony between you. Hold off on a final decision.

-- April 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, and Neve Campbell.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Misunderstandings can be smoothed out by exerting a little bit of extra effort. You may have a strong intuition about someone or something and should act upon it. Heal a rift by being there when needed.

-- April 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Stop to smell the catnip. A romantic feeling sneaks back into your life on tiny cat feet and is waiting to pounce on you. You have been warding off unwanted attentions but now have a chance at the right person.

-- April 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why do blondes tattoo their zipcode under their belly
button?

A: So they can get the male into the right box.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Where relationships are concerned you are a bit like Baby Bear this week. Some relationships may be too big or too costly, while others are too limiting. Search until you find something just right.

-- April 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remain confident. You look better than you think. People may imagine that you possess special talents or additional capabilities. Don't disappoint anyone by promising more than you can deliver.

-- April 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Reach outside your comfort zone. Some self-discipline and control of your hedonistic instincts can lead to profits, admiration and more solid relationships. Flex some neglected mental muscles.

-- April 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can get what you want. You can choose to flaunt either your sex appeal or your cash to consummate a deal. You may have ulterior motives, but they won't cause you any trouble if revealed.

-- April 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Perfection is almost impossible to find. Go to an art show or museum where the artists are long gone. You can speak your mind and your critical eye for detail can operate without the fear of giving offense.

-- May 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You wish to remain in control. Holding the reins is only an illusion if you are not in complete accord with the other person because reins are easily broken. Not tampering with a good thing is the better choice.

-- May 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The world can be a better place if you offer encouragement. Concentrate on offering compliments to others, rather than putting them down. Weak relationships could suffer from a minor disagreement.

-- May 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Cushion yourself against insensitive remarks. Don't let criticism undermine your self-confidence. Instead, use it as a fulcrum to become a better person. By midweek you will find that your love life improves.

-- May 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Make your own rules. This isn't the time to foist these rules onto others, but a good time to develop a new regimen for your own sake. You need to learn the difference between a passing emotion and heartfelt change.

-- May 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It is very easy to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Certain issues may require private disclosures. Personal privacy may be invaded for good reasons, so don't be offended by probing questions.

-- May 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fuel your passions. Someone in close connection, either emotionally or geographically, may set your enthusiasms on fire. Don't be afraid to experiment with new ways of performing services and tasks.

-- May 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You might be spurred to greater success by partners and well-wishers. The desire for a more luxurious home or the need to provide for family members may make you passionate about getting ahead.

-- May 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't overreact. Unexpected reactions from others might rock your boat, but you aren't likely to suffer unless you abandon ship. This isn't a good time to attempt to convince anyone of your sincerity.

-- May 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't tempt fate. Be on your best behavior and avoid making waves. A relationship may need to be handled with kid gloves. Be very clear about expectations. Put off major decisions until next week.

-- May 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If you can't hug your own mom, then hug someone else's. Put someone else's wants and needs ahead of your own. Shared values and ideals help a partnership sail through choppy waters this week.

-- May 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Sitting on the sidelines is great if you pick the right side. Just because currently you are taking a back seat to major occurrences doesn't mean you must act like a typical backseat driver and offer advice.

-- May 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Find out about a secret admirer. You are at your best when you work side by side with others or have a congenial sidekick who can tag along. Someone who is usually bashful might make the first move.

-- May 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Peace and tranquility can be deceptive. Listen carefully to the words of a special someone and do not cast doubt on anyone's intentions. Your charm can attract notice from the least expected places.

-- May 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Love will find a way. If you notice someone's smoldering looks, remember that where there's smoke there's fire. You are more adept than usual when handling investments and money making activities.

-- May 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. You may be forced to toe the line or temporarily take on heavy responsibilities. Maintain a low profile and don't make decisions about your love life right now.

-- May 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: An effort to charm someone might backfire. Be prepared to offer a sincere apology or to make amends. You may run into a stone wall if you push relationships too far or refuse to consider a compromise.

-- May 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the
blonde's date.

A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

[teapeebubbles]

To prepare for his big date, a young man went to the rooftop of his apartment building to work on his tan. Not wanting any tan lines, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, he fell asleep and sunburned his Johnson.

Being very determined, he decided not to miss his date with the hot blonde; so, he put some ointment on the beast and wrapped it in gauze.

The young man's date, a beautiful blonde, showed up at his apartment for the promised home cooked meal, and was treated to a feast. After they finished with the dinner they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, the young man's sunburn began to hurt. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused.

A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the kitchen, poured a tall glass of cold milk, and placed his sunburned member into the milk.

He experienced immediate relief.

The blonde, wondering what the young man was doing, wandered into the kitchen and found him with his "tool" immersed in the glass of milk.

With a look of understanding the Blonde exclaimed, "SO, THAT'S HOW YOU LOAD THOSE THINGS!"

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may be searching for a magic bullet that can cure everything. The truth is that you are a bit confused about priorities this week. Focus on determined thinking and investigations rather than frivolous fun.

-- May 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Passions pass their peak. You may feel a sacrifice is necessary on your part, or demand one from others, but the truth is that someone is trying to overdramatize a situation. The less said, the better.

-- May 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your efforts to be charming might fall on deaf ears or possibly backfire. Rather than angling to make a romantic conquest, this is a time to maintain a low profile. Some facts are hidden from you.

-- May 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Think things through. Only by acting like the consummate professional can you avoid being caught up in a web of intrigue. Hold off on important decisions and avoid signing any crucial paperwork.

-- May 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she
was pregnant, Ann got a little scared. "It will be my
first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and I do not
actually know the first thing about how babies are
delivered."

"Do not worry about a thing," reassured the doctor.
"It is really not all that different from how the baby
got started in the first place."

Startled, Ann exclaimed, "You mean, five tequila
shooters and then a ride in Charlie's truck?"

[teapeebubbles]

A number of primary schools were doing a project on
"The Sea". Kids were asked to draw pictures or write
about their experiences. Teachers then got together to
compare the results and put together some of the
'better' ones.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight
testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to
live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher,
age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James, age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by a sea you are an island.
If you don't have a sea all around you, you are
incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big
teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my
friend no more. (Kyle, age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on top of
its head. (Billy, age 8)

7. When ships had sails, they used the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind
wouldn't blow the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would be
better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like
their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen, age 6)

9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold
and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin, age 6)

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the height of conceit?

A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Plug away at establishing security in your life. You might feel you are not getting ahead or reaching your goals, but minor setbacks will show you what must be overcome. Don't fall prey to discouragement.

-- May 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The sympathy of others can boost your spirits, but it may be better to gather facts before entering an agreement. Close advisers may be confident, but reserve judgment and make key decisions another time.

-- May 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Be willing to explore all brave new worlds. Too much chitchat about world events and technology might distract you from romantic pursuits of the sensual kind. Set aside some time for intimate meetings.

-- May 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, and Toni Braxton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Plan on a candlelit dinner or a relaxing cookout under the stars. Your passions may be put to the test, however, if you hook up with someone new. An extra day off can cause your assignments to pile up

-- May 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The proof is in the pudding. Good relationships should thrive under these celestial conditions, but some that have not lived up to expectations might hit a dead end. Remain above reproach to put suspicions to rest.

-- May 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Keep moving toward your goals. Although social activities may distract you from your original intentions, stay with it. Get outside and enjoy the sights and sounds of spring but keep objectives prioritized.

-- May 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can get further with sugar than salt. Face adversity with a grin and remain upbeat when challenged by criticism. Don't let your penchant for socializing interfere with completing necessary tasks.

-- May 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Appearances can be deceiving. Business matters may be operating under a shroud of deception. Be sure to obtain all the pertinent information and seek advice from trusted sources before taking action.

-- May 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Sleep on it. An impending decision should be researched and pondered carefully before a final judgment is reached. The smallest detail could be the difference between success and failure of the project.

-- May 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Indulge yourself by enjoying the finer things in life. Enjoy your good fortune and share with those less fortunate than yourself. A hookup based on mutual compatibility could evolve into the real thing.

-- May 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Ask no questions and you will hear no lies. Concentrate on being a stickler for propriety. You aren't likely to receive positive feedback or feel like the life of the party until the middle of the week.

-- June 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The key to success is to work amiably and productively with others. You may not receive glowing social reviews, but you can gain respect through hard work. Work through your lunch break to meet deadlines.

-- June 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put the cap on an emotional toothache. You can't obtain support from friends or pressure people to take your side. However you can realign your thoughts by seeking sound advice from others this month.

-- June 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fresh air and sunshine are the perfect antidote. Restore your equilibrium by indulging in sports or even a walk in the woods. Take the bug repellant along and ward off a rehash of old problems.

-- June 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Apples don't fall far from the tree. Gather assistance from those who have an admirable track record or are associated in some way with success. A flirtatious demeanor could stir up some trouble.

-- June 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Do your best to preserve everyone's good opinion. A heavy workload might require a few extra hours of added effort, especially if deadlines are looming. Avoid frictions with a loved one.

-- June 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your attractive ways could draw others closer, but don't start a new love affair at this time. It is a good night for fun and games - as long as there are no strings attached. Steer clear of controversies.

-- June 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Jumping through hoops is a joy when you do it for the one you love. Trust your instincts as well as the advice you receive in the week ahead. Work-related emergencies could upset the smooth flow of events.

-- June 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The desire for a change of scene or experimentation might complicate your life. This isn't a good time to install new software or buy a new computer. Don't be persuaded to abandon the status quo.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Promises hold a guarantee. This could be a good time to pop 'the' question or enter into an agreement that involves future plans. The bonds of affection draw tighter under these romantic stars.

-- June 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Be advised that on some level you are wearing blinders. You are so easily led down the garden path that you may not notice that the garden gnomes are giggling about the fine print you overlooked.

-- June 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remain serene - even if everyone else is in an uproar. Take advantage of opportune moments to strengthen the bonds of affection. Differences with a significant other won't matter as long as you respect boundaries.

-- June 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Romantic dreams are in the air and this time you have every chance of making them come true. That come-hither look is really meant for you, so don't be shy if you want to make this weekend memorable.

-- June 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Solidify romantic attachments and seek long-term commitments. New contacts may prove to be exceedingly helpful. Chance meetings can bring you the love and romance you have been searching for.

-- June 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Hold onto your compass. You may become lost while exploring a labyrinth of lust and love. Throughout the week you must fight sensuality when clear thinking and a businesslike demeanor are required.

-- June 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Never show your hand while playing poker. You know something is a bluff and that your opposite number could be bluffing, too. The problem is that you might risk too much of your money on a bad gamble.

-- June 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Tame that tiger. Your animal desires might create a conflict that disturbs the harmony of a special relationship. Someone might want to make an alliance exclusive, but that can create disagreement.

-- June 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Cool heads conquer conflict. Love forged in the sweltering blacksmith shop of passion often cools down all too quickly. Take a cerebral stance when considering your next move with a loved one.

-- June 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Because you are frustrated by losses, you might be tempted to throw good money after bad. A family member may egg you on. Steer clear of new commitments or contracts that could prove costly.

-- June 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Watch out for your toes. You are out of step with that special someone and may get stepped on by accident. You may not share similar objectives regarding finances now, so this is a poor time to make joint purchases.

-- June 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: There may be more at stake than meets the eye. Life isn't always an open book and it is easy to misread signals from others right now. This is a day when you shouldn't trust your instincts or feelings.

-- June 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You might want to have your cake and eat it, too. People may suspect you are somewhat insincere this week if you give them indications of agreement but don't follow through to fulfill your promises.

-- June 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may be high on enthusiasm, but others may be simply trying to keep the cogs of commerce running smoothly. Keep focused on existing goals and rely on trusted partners rather than initiating anything new.

-- June 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Have plenty of patience. Boost someone's confidence by being sensitive to their pride -- and make extra efforts to be considerate. Misunderstandings can occur, as not all folks say what they mean.

-- June 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Be a team player. Play by the rules and the rules will keep you from making an error. It is a poor time to take unnecessary risks with finances or to become involved with a new romantic interest.

-- June 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Pretty is as pretty does. The budget could get out of hand or you could overestimate your charms and attractions. There is a tendency to go overboard with extravagances or to buy items that are overpriced.

-- June 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Keep your hands out of the piggy bank. Chasing after a mythical pot of gold at the end of a rainbow always proves pointless. A certain co-worker or business buddy will make a good friend, not a lover.

-- June 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Jump on the bandwagon. Go along with your friends on a key issue or make an effort to prove that you are a staunch supporter of a favorite cause. Use bursts of shared enthusiasm to complete major tasks.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Today it seems as if you are the sun and the planets revolve around you. In the week that follows, your magnetism draws others to you and those closest are eager to do your bidding. Do not take advantage.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Give someone the benefit of the doubt. Forgive past transgressions, but don't enter into any new agreements or sign binding contracts. Make sure the goal you're working toward is worth your while.

-- June 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): To each their own. Friends or acquaintances may try to pressure you into helping them achieve their own goals when it provides you with little benefit. Bend a little, but don't break and remain true to yourself.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A little change can be good once in awhile. Break from tiresome old routines for a while. Make sure your intentions are clear with a certain someone and make a sincere effort to carry your own weight.

-- July 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Avoid being unyielding or and offering ultimatums to those in close connection. Misunderstandings and conflict could result. You may enjoy a spur of the moment activity or unusual experience.

-- July 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Do what is expected of you. Now is not the time to give into whims or be unpredictable about your goals. Focus on your job or your family and don't get hot and bothered over a pretty face.

-- July 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You might find someone wants to be your personal lapdog this week. New friendships might not last long, but some may last forever. Your judgment could be askew, so ask a friend for advice.

-- July 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Plain dealing does the best. Don't be sidetracked by an insincere compliment or offer. Your casual acceptance of an agreement might cause you to spend more money or exert more effort than you intended.

-- July 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: An added expense or credit purchase may not be in your best interest. You could be swayed by manipulative sales tactics or persuasive entreaties under these stars.

-- July 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Pretty is as pretty does. Tuck in your shirttails and roll up your sleeves so you can accomplish something of value. Make progress with a home cleanup project or tackle a list of necessary business chores.

-- July 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Make headway with your business aspirations. Hook up with someone who has the organizational skills you lack so you will be free to demonstrate your social talents. Trust someone to do what you can't.

-- July 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Scratch a romantic itch. You will get a definite signal and will know exactly whom you can trust where money or love is concerned. New contacts, friendly discussions and dedicated networking could pay off.

-- July 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, and Toni Braxton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The caged bird never sings a happy song. Others may elude your attempts to stabilize commitments. Enthusiasm and heartfelt generosity without thought of reward receives the most attention.

-- July 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Change is good. This week you must remind yourself to be flexible and adjust happily to the unusual. Remember that the tree that bends in the wind will spring back when the weather calms down.

-- July 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Gimme shelter! Rolling stones gather no moss, but sometimes need peace and quiet. While exploring new techniques or trying to create something original, you may be happiest working independently.

-- July 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If you make your bed you will have to lie in it. A desire for novelty and excitement can be charming, but can be misunderstood by a loved one. Don't betray the trust of a special someone who looks up to you.

-- July 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: This is a good time to prove that you are your significant other's best friend. Keep in mind the lesson of the wise old owl; the more he saw the less he spoke and the less he spoke the more he could hear.

-- July 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your warmth, compassion and friendliness might boomerang and cause confusion. You are an excellent salesperson, but shouldn't make major purchases. Someone might have second thoughts after the fact.

-- July 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The waters are a bit murky where money or love is concerned. Romantic pursuits could lose their fizzle and fall flat. Hide your wallet as well as your heart until you can see clearly to the bottom of things.

-- July 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Take pride in popularity. You yearn to bring friends closer, but if you lie down with dogs, don't be surprised if you get up with fleas. It might be time to be more discriminating about companions.

-- July 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put your mojo to work on your behalf during the week ahead. Your passion for the good things in life will guide you in the right direction. Be prepared to make headway with something that demands attention.

-- July 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): All's well that ends well. Trying conditions may fall by the wayside due to a vote of confidence from a co-worker or family member. You may catch sight of an opportunity to increase your net worth.

[teapeebubbles]

Musical Terms Misunderstood by Country-Western Musicians (PG)



Diminished Fifth -- An empty bottle of Jack Daniels

Perfect Fifth -- A full bottle of Jack Daniels

Ritard -- There's one in every family

Relative Major -- An uncle in the Marine Corps

Relative Minor -- A girlfriend

Big Band -- When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo
players

Pianissimo -- "Refill this beer bottle"

Repeat -- What you do until they just expel you

Treble -- Women ain't nothin' but

Bass -- The things you run around in softball

Portamento -- A foreign country you've always wanted to see

Conductor -- The man who punches your ticket to
Birmingham

Arpeggio -- "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose
that grows?"

Tempo -- Good choice for a used car

A 440 -- The highway that runs around Nashville

Transpositions -- Men who wear dresses

Cut Time-- Parole Order of

Sharps -- What a wimp gets at the bar

Passing Tone-- Frequently heard near the baked beans at
family barbecues

Middle C-- The only fruit drink you can afford when food
stamps are low

Perfect Pitch -- The smooth coating on a freshly paved road

Tuba -- A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba
Bryll Cream!"

Cadenza -- That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair
off of when company comes

Whole Note -- What's due after failing to pay the
mortgage for a year

Clef -- What you try never to fall off of

Bass Clef -- Where you wind up if you do fall off

Altos -- Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's
toes" or "Dori-toes"

Minor Third-- Your approximate age and grade at the
completion of formal schooling

Melodic Minor -- Loretta Lynn's singing dad

12-Tone Scale --The thing the State Police weigh your
tractor trailer truck with

Quarter Tone -- What most standard pickups can haul

Sonata -- What you get from a bad cold or hay fever

Clarinet -- Name used on your second daughter if you've
already used Betty Jo

Cello -- The proper way to answer the phone

Bassoon -- Typical response when asked what you hope to
catch, and when

French Horn -- Your wife says you smell like a cheap one
when you come in at 4 a.m.

Cymbal -- What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know
what to sight-in your pistol with

Bossa Nova -- The car your foreman drives

Time Signature -- What you need from your boss if you forget
to clock in

First Inversion --Grandpa's battle group at Normandy

Staccato -- How you did all the ceilings in your mobile
home

Major Scale -- What you say after chasing wild game up a
mountain: "Darn! That was a major scale!"

Aeolian Mode-- How you like Mama's cherry pie

Bach Chorale -- The place behind the barn where you keep the
horses

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Flirt a little. Invite someone to help you with work. Physical chemistry is likely to create an intense reaction. To charm a loved one, just whisper a few seductive words in his or her ear.

-- July 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You don't always get what you want, but you get what you need. You may find an opportunity to increase your net worth. You are extremely charming and especially attractive when you give voice to feelings.

-- July 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Good taste is more than a matter of price. Show off valuable assets by being a savvy judge of character. Sometimes you must buy something to prove you are supportive of a friend or to sustain a good cause.

-- July 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remember the apt quotation about the best-laid plans of mice and men. Today you may hook up with someone who is excited about a pipe dream that has little likelihood of success. Don't be discouraged.

-- July 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

TOP TEN REDNECK COUNTRY SONGS PLAYED
AT AUNT MABELLE'S ROADKILL CAFE

1. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.

2. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You!

3. Mamma Get A Hammer--Der's A Fly On Papa's Head!

4. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

5. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.

6. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

7. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.

8. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.

9. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win!

10. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: There is no bandage big enough or strong enough to cover up an amorous ouch. You would be wise to avoid making commitments or promises this weekend. Pursue intellectual discussions instead.

-- July 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22.): Answers do not always match the questions. You and a special someone could be out of sync during the beginning of the week. Your efforts to win someone's confidence or support could fall flat.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Creating something new and different requires discipline and practice. You may be torn between old friends and new ones, but will find that each offers something of value. Honor your past obligations.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Love Boat may change its schedule without advance notice and sail without you unless you get up to speed. Because you are so concerned with everything being perfect, you may lose out in the end.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A situation could be developing that needs to be handled with kid gloves. Be very clear and aboveboard when dealing with friends, partners and loved ones. Keep a lid on expenses and avoid purchases on credit.

-- July 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Do it right the first time. Past mistakes may nip at your heels in the next few days. Put finishing touches on existing projects, but don't start anything of great importance. Avoid misunderstandings.

-- July 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't leap from the frying pan into the fire. It is time to take the heat or get out of the kitchen. You won't be able to evade any obligations, as there is no viable alternative.

-- August 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Enthusiasms can be contagious. Onerous household tasks might drag your spirits early in the day. Someone can light a fire under your ambitions and provide concrete encouragement when needed.

-- August 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Play to win. Mingling in social situations may seem just a pleasant folly, but there is much to be gained by being in the right place at the right time. Stay on your toes and don't miss an opportunity this week.

-- August 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A passing fad is just that. You could waste valuable resources trying to keep up with the latest trend but tomorrow that trend could be something else. Focus on solid goals, not fleeting whims.

-- August 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Stick with what you know. It is a poor time to embark upon a new job or relationship because you might fall under an unrealistic spell. An evening with good friends might be just what the doctor ordered.

-- August 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. You should seek a happy medium between work and relationships to achieve the greatest success. Be careful not to focus all your attention in one specific area.

-- August 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Lady Luck may be looking elsewhere. Friends may try to goad you into taking a chance, but your own common sense should take precedent. A romantic encounter could blossom into something more permanent.

-- August 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Gene Williams, bass singer of a spinoff of The Platters, died Tuesday in Las Vegas after a battle with pancreatic cancer, his management team said.

Williams was a member of The Buck Ram Platters, a group formed by Ram, manager of the original Platters. Williams is survived by a daughter, Leonsay.

His two sons, Brian and Kevin, died three months apart in 2002, both under unusual circumstances.

Brian Williams, the Orlando Magic's No. 1 draft pick in 1991 after he starred at the University of Arizona, went missing and was presumed dead after a sailboat trip off Tahiti with his girlfriend and his brother.

Two weeks later, Kevin Williams was seen bringing the boat back to Tahiti by himself. Police detained him in Phoenix two months after the incident and questioned him for buying $152,000 in gold by forging his brother's name.

Kevin Williams died of an insulin overdose three months after the disappearance of Brian Williams and his girlfriend, according to published reports.

"Gene was very stoic about it," said Gayle Schreiber, a member of Williams' management team.

[teapeebubbles]

Worst Arkansas Country Song Titles

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck
Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[teapeebubbles]

The First Day of School 30 Years Ago and Today

THIRTY YEARS AGO:

Miss Lichtig receives an apple from an anonymous
student and shows it to her fellow teachers.

TODAY:
Ms. Lichtig receives a package from an anonymous student
and shows it to the bomb squad.

THIRTY YEARS AGO:
Ed Navis, the class clown, is caught reading Playboy.

TODAY:
Mrs. McMahon, the art teacher, is caught posing for Playboy.

THIRTY YEARS AGO:
Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of whooping
cough.

TODAY:
Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of morning
sickness.

THIRTY YEARS AGO:
students find mercury, lead and cobalt on the periodic table.

TODAY:
students find mercury, lead and cobalt in the drinking water.

THIRTY YEARS AGO:
each class begins with "Show and Tell."

TODAY:
each class begins with "Search and Frisk."

THIRTY YEARS AGO:
tenth grader Clyde Kelly is caught cheating on a pop quiz.

TODAY:
tenth grader Scott Kelly is caught cheating on his common-
law wife.

[teapeebubbles]

What's the definition of a "sardine"?

-- A little fish that smells like a finger.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Rekindle that old flame of trust and devotion. You can blow life into an existing relationship by expressing your true feelings with sincerity. For the single set, keep it on a 'just friends' level for the moment.

-- August 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Keep your feet on the ground. You may want to spend the day in some carefree frolic, but you are better suited for accomplishing more mundane tasks. Don't let things get out of hand with a key relationship.

-- August 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: What you want and what you can get are two different things. Don't go whole hog spending hard-earned cash or you may secretly regret it later in the week. Expect the unexpected from friends.

-- August 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, and Tim Robbins.

[teapeebubbles]

Isaac Hayes
Soul singer, musician dies at home at age 65

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You are capable of putting on a great front. You can play the part of the diva or the drama queen and people will think you are simply marvelous. Just don't make important commitments under false pretences.

-- August 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Why count on your fingers when there is modern equipment available to make your laborious tasks a breeze? You have been relying on the tried and true when there is a better and more efficient way.

-- August 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A charismatic person might erase certain worries and brighten your day. This might be a good time to experiment with new ideas, gadgets or routines that will help you become more efficient.

-- August 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It is a good idea to be a 'joiner' and get on the bandwagon with a local group or organization. Shoot a few baskets or swim a few laps in the pool, but avoid mixing business deals with pleasures.

-- August 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Take steps to improve yourself. If there is something you do not know and it is holding you back, then it is time to master this knowledge. It is only the first step and your own fear that seems difficult.

-- August 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You have heard that to err is human; to forgive, divine. You and your certain someone are both very human and you can be divine by accepting or offering forgiveness. Indulge in a lavish treat.

-- August 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Ignore the sales pitch. Read the ads, weigh your options, but wait until later in the week to exercise your buying power. Resist temptation to yield if partners or lovers push and prod you to act today.

-- August 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

World's Greatest Pick Up Line

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to
tell everybody we did it anyway

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?

A: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's
throat at thirty miles an hour.

[teapeebubbles]

You know, things could be worse. What if sex were
fattening?

[teapeebubbles]

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile
teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the
plush chair in the corner.

The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.
Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly
toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing
her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word,
smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With
a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to
unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through
this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights
she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate,
confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire
that had gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it
seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and
for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too
big! - it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it
slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As
pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his
steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And
he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes,
this woman would want more.

She would want to do it again and again and again...

DON'T YA JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES????

[teapeebubbles]

Women - You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ...

15. Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscen-
ities when he hogs the blanket.

14. Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam
in your face.

13. PMS lasts all month.

12. Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on
open display.

11. "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are
you finished yet?!"

10. He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting
on you at work.

9. Dildos, S & M, menage ... anything to break
the monotony.

8. You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to
keep up.

7. Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become
way too uncomfortable.

6. Two weeks no orgasm.

5. Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't
miss it.

4. When he lends you five bucks, he expects it
back.

3. You'd rather spend quality time with your
vibrator.

2. The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.

And the number one sign the honeymoon is over ...

1. You let one rip in your sleep and don't care
if he hears.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The bubble has burst. You or a significant other may have been relying upon wishful thinking, but now it is time to reappraise a situation. Using some elbow grease can turn a detriment into an asset.

-- August 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, and Johnny Mathis.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You aren't quite out of the woods yet. A relationship could still challenge your sense of propriety. This is one of those times when you should take the lead and refuse to be persuaded against your will.

-- August 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, and Tim Robbins.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't jump the gun. Fleeting desires could cause you to take an extravagant action that might be regretted at leisure. A key relationship isn't territory that needs defending; problems need tender loving care.

-- August 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: People are blind to your warts and whiskers. There is a wee bit of magic in today's stars that makes you appear in a more attractive light. This is a good time to ask for a raise or make a fresh commitment.

-- August 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Hold on to every penny. A change of pace or place is in your future. Since people and business might be somewhat unpredictable, it is a good idea to be poised for some unlikely random occurrences.

-- August 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Play the field, but don't let the field play you. The urge to live life in the fast lane might satisfy an itch for excitement for a little while, but you might leave something or someone important behind in the dust.

-- August 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The face you show to the world tells the world how to treat you. Start the week off right by being pleasant and gentle. If you remember to look for quality instead of quantity, you can make a worthwhile purchase.

-- August 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

Dave Matthews Band Member Dies

[teapeebubbles]

Matt Damon And Wife Welcome Baby #2

[teapeebubbles]

Rachel McAdams And Ryan Gosling Back On... Holding Hands Monday

[teapeebubbles]

Cynthia Nixon To Co-Star In "The Naked Civil Servant" Sequel

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Excuses make strange bedfellows. You can make the excuse that you are conflicted about something. You may feel comfortable making shallow decisions without feeling that you are a shallow person.

-- August 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Stick to the middle road and avoid extremes. Don't bank everything on one heroic play. Although it is tempting to spend time at the pool or begin knitting an afghan, you can't afford to ignore responsibilities.

-- August 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: That which does not destroy you makes you stronger. Every little trial and tribulation makes you better equipped to handle another round. Consider yourself lucky to have a supportive family to boost spirits.

-- August 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Find a broom, but hang it in the closet. Your romantic ardor is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks in the trash as well as the treasure. Resist the compelling temptation to clean up finances or a relationship.

-- August 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Instead of gambling with valuable resources, look for the sure thing. Hobbies and entertainment could distract you from homework. Get the green light from your favorite someone before you make a move.

-- August 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The wolf may appear in sheep's clothing rather than huffing and puffing outside your door. People may cover up their mistakes or offer deception instead of honesty. Skepticism is your best defense today.

-- August 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Double your pleasure and double your fun. You will succeed by being patient and kind this week, even if people seem too cantankerous for words. Heap praise upon your detractors and win them over.

-- August 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Sidestep both obvious and hidden pitfalls by staying on your toes. Things aren't necessarily exactly what they seem. Don't take chances by gambling on an unfamiliar product or untested assurances.

-- September 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Win a few, lose a few. You must remain philosophical under these cosmic conditions. Your brilliant ideas won't get much airplay now, but you could organize them and present them later in the week.

-- September 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Twiddle your thumbs. If you are caught up on your work, take a breather -- but do not start any new projects. If you must keep busy, go back over your work with a fine-toothed comb and fix errors.

-- September 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A timely apology might serve to create a buffer zone around a misunderstanding. If there are repairs to be made in the home, this could be a good time to start them. Fix anything that has nagged at your conscience.

-- September 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Life is complicated. Use brainpower to deal with intricate matters. Recent small blowups may have actually cleared the air. Apply your intelligence to find where problems lie so they can be fixed.

-- September 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Life is just a bowl of cherries until you bite down on a pit. Do not be disgruntled if someone makes promises that can't be kept. You may hear more than one surprising excuse or blatant exaggeration.

-- September 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may be feeling your oats this week. A mild flirtation might get out of hand -- especially if you are bored and something more exciting seems to be lurking in the next pasture. Don't make exaggerated claims.

-- September 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your winning ways may be too much to handle. You may try too hard to be sociable and spoil your chances. This isn't a good time to make purchases, as you may spend too much for too little.

-- September 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't lose sight of quality when purchasing in quantity. Make sure that the pile on the conveyor belt at the checkout doesn't grow too big for your wallet to handle. Don't make commitments you can't keep.

-- September 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Speak your mind. You temporarily possess the gift of gab and can get a point across whether on the phone, by e-mail or in front of a group. Your creative flair makes short work of intricate problems.

-- September 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Revealing discussions can put things back into perspective. Convince a loved one that sticking with the tried and true may be in everyone's best interest. Don't negotiate a deal or contract under these stars.

-- September 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: When it comes to love, one size does not fit all Someone might seem compellingly attractive but not be a good fit. It might be tempting to do something unbecoming or underhanded.

-- September 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The ball is in your court. Under these stars you can score on the playing field of love. Your creative genius and imagination might earn you a few gold stars or a pat on the back in the workplace.

-- September 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Keep a high profile. You are at the zenith of your popularity and you should be making the social rounds to solidify your standing. You will be in high demand from your inner circle in the week to come.

-- September 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Leave the driving to someone else. Following the whims of another could lead you down the easiest path. Your intuitions and kindhearted understanding will put you in the good graces of someone important.

-- September 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The more, the merrier. Take a friend or colleague along to share your travels, triumphs, joys or jobs. You may need a solid shoulder to lean on or trustworthy advice when making a significant decision.

-- September 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't have too much of a good thing. Stick with the regimen and scheduled tasks no matter how boring or unpleasant it may seem. Perseverance and dedication will yield vast benefits in the future.

-- September 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Roll up your sleeves and dig in. Face your responsibilities head on. Don't put off completing anything, as there is no limit to what you can achieve through industry. Capitalize on your creative ideas.

-- September 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Strive for perfection. Cover every base; make sure to cross every 't' and dot every 'i' before turning in anything final. To achieve goals and satisfy your desires with ease, leave nothing to chance.

-- September 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Reach out and touch someone. Go out and meet new people and make new friends. A romantic interest could be at the top of the list. Follow a friend's lead when involved in creative activities or hobbies.

-- September 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: With Mars in your sign you can pump up some enthusiasm and energy, especially in creative areas. Concentrate on hobbies, sidelines or entertaining activities in the week ahead. Accentuate creativity.

-- September 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Carve your own niche. Your warmth and charm aren't your only admirable traits. This isn't a good time to make a major change, but it is a good time to consolidate and place a value on existing talents.

-- September 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her
bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Perfect harmony is not an interchangeable item. Under these stars, you have to remember that a significant person in your life is not just a romantic Lego block easily replaced by another partner.

-- September 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: People are more impressed by your efficiency than by your eagerness to please. You need to back up your smiles with an authentic performance. Additional diplomacy must be carried in your toolbox.

-- September 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fight fire with fire. A little enthusiasm will strike a harmonious chord with that significant other in your life. Get important business matters and plans off to a good start by being the early bird today.

-- September 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Bide your time. You might need to mix some business with pleasure, or vice versa, before the day is done. Do your utmost to draw a certain someone closer and to straighten out past misunderstandings.

-- September 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Go along for the ride. A partner or loved one can set a dynamic pace. If romance is the subject, you may be swept along on a wave of desire that will leave you and a significant other completely satisfied.

-- September 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Let intuitions act like a road map. This week, thoughts may revolve around your appearance or physical condition. You won't be so self-absorbed, however, if there is a friend in need or a cause to defend.

-- September 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A new moon in your sign can mark the beginning of a month in which you blossom. You have been hiding your light beneath a bushel basket but now you feel encouraged to show off knowledge.

-- September 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The problem with originality is that people are almost always afraid of the unknown. When you bottle something with a familiar label folks are sure to lap it up, even if it isn't good for them.

-- September 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remain footloose and fancy-free. Don't be tempted to hook up with an enticing stranger. Dwelling on 'what might have been' and 'what could be' is counterproductive and will waste your energy.

-- October 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Be a Good Samaritan. Help someone balance a checkbook or get out the yardstick to measure for new carpet or calculate the size of a room. Show someone how much you care in practical ways.

-- October 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Meet challenges head on. This isn't a good time to duck for cover or evade your duties. You must face responsibilities and obligations cheerfully. Pass up a chance to chat at the water cooler or waste time.

-- October 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: This isn't a good time to start an argument or offer a challenge. If your partner or a significant other offers a valid criticism try to cure the problem. If the criticism isn't valid then ignore it and don't overreact.

-- October 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put on your thinking cap. You may be in a situation in which there is a stubborn refusal to compromise or a lot of loose ends keep slipping out of your grasp. Think before acting in the week ahead.

-- October 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If you are patient, organized and respectful of authority, you can be rewarded with recognition and respect. You will be wise to maintain a formal tone when dealing with new contacts under these stars.

-- October 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Someone's moody outlook and sensitivity to slights could spoil your spirits. Avoid making new investments or initiatives while you are easily swayed by the desire to redeem yourself in someone's eyes.

-- October 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Recess is over. Companions may be serious and practical minded when you are in the mood to play. Put your mischievous ideas on the back burner for now and concentrate on doing what is necessary.

-- October 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: An appreciation of beauty or the arts may catapult you into trying new and untried hobbies or sidelines. Gaiety and kindness may attract friends who will help you in times to come or just brighten the day.

-- October 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: All's fair in love and war means someone might not play by the rules. Your attention could be riveted by social and financial needs that are frustrated by vague and mysterious circumstances.

-- October 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't scratch that itch. You may yearn to hook up with someone new or have a yen to go out and buy the latest and greatest. Whether you invest money or emotions the timing is poor for new beginnings.

-- October 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Some strategic sleight of hand might keep you out of the doghouse. You must be aware there could be a plethora of kindly intentioned white lies in the week to come from those in close connection.

-- October 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): That rosy-cheeked cherub with the bow and arrows may take aim at your heart. The intention may be to entrap you rather than empower you, so watch out unless you are hoping for just a casual fling.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The full moon seems to brighten a key relationship. For the next several weeks, you may be blessed by greater harmony because it becomes obvious that the two of you share similar long-term goals.

-- October 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A recent inspiration or idea might become your personal philosopher's stone. In folklore that magic stone turned base metal into gold -- and in your situation, an ordinary idea could become priceless.

-- October 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone -- but trust and the world trusts you, too. You are a born romantic who looks for the good in everyone, so everyone sees the good in you.

-- October 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Unless you are British, that stiff upper lip isn't necessary. You may feel slightly constrained or reserved in social settings because of a lack of funds or confidentiality issues that you must honor.

-- October 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Stay faithful to your word. If you have promised to do something, you will be expected to follow through like a good little soldier. People will respect you for being true blue and dependable in a crisis.

-- October 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: March to your own beat. You may have spent a lot of time indulging the whims and needs of others, but now it is time for you to do what is best for yourself. This week, treat yourself to things that are tickle your fancy.

-- October 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

Soul singer Dee Dee Warwick dies at 63

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It's always darkest before the dawn. Your workload may seem impossible to fulfill, but if you remain diligent you will succeed and feel all the better for it. Do not shy away from business responsibilities.

-- October 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Reflect upon all things held dear. Realize that although you may not be rich, you are wealthy because of the friendships you have built. Share your innermost thoughts with someone special tonight.

-- October 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put on your poker face. You may need to bluff a little to achieve your goals. Don't show your hand too early or keep raising the ante. Reveal your true plans only to those whom you completely trust.

-- October 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It's nice to imagine winning the lottery. However, reality dictates that you can only improve your finances by making it happen yourself. You can create your own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

-- October 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Lady Luck is smiling. Take a chance, play the lottery, make a bet and you'll find pleasant results. Listen to opportunities and proposals as they become available. A new friend could come your way.

-- October 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Lady Luck is smiling. Take a chance, play the lottery, make a bet and you'll find pleasant results. Listen to opportunities and proposals as they become available. A new friend could come your way.

-- October 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Do your homework. The only way to be sure of making the correct decision is to study the subject intently. Be certain that the goal you are seeking to achieve is the best thing for you and those you love.

-- October 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't fight city hall. Your usual companions are in the mood for fun and games, not hardnosed business tactics. Wait until the end of the week to make large purchases or key business decisions.

-- October 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't please all of the people all of the time. You might not even be on the same wavelength as others. This isn't a good time to push business agendas, invest or to pursue your social ambitions.

-- October 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?
A: A blonde standing in front of a tampon machine with
a bent quarter

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Maintain a happy balance between business and pleasure. A vicious circle may be started in which you work hard to please your loved ones, leaving you with less time to spend with those you love.

-- October 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You don't have a road map to Frostbite Falls. There is no rabbit in your hat, so you will come up empty-handed if you try to pull one out. Last-minute solutions are not likely to be satisfying or appropriate.

-- October 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fuzzy logic can be brilliantly sharp now. Make it a point to laugh at your own mistakes. Be sympathetic and helpful to companions who want to climb out of an endless rut or tackle something unusual.

-- October 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: There can never be too many tricks or tasty treats. Leave the porch light on so ghosts can find the welcome mat. One of your visitors may be a very special someone with a special treat in mind.

-- October 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Truth often is followed by consequences. If you follow a partner's lead, it may lead you somewhere unusual. Try not to go to extremes when pursuing fun and entertainment. Expect the unexpected.

-- November 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Sometimes you can learn more from conflict than from happiness. You may see a loved one in an unflattering light for a few days this week. You can benefit by acknowledging faults as well as assets.

-- November 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: All great relationships start with friendship. Remain open to making new contacts without abandoning your old ones. You may be challenged to deal with opposing factions or extremes of viewpoint.

-- November 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Do what you do best. You won't get credit or kudos for experimenting with new techniques if past responsibilities haven't been attended to with care. This isn't the time to present alternative methods or to espouse new causes.

-- November 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: There's no business like show business. A companion or mentor could show you how to make a few more dollars or how to perform more efficiently. Follow the leader at work or play.

-- November 5, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Meet them and greet them. You function best in any activity where you can mingle with people from a variety of backgrounds. This gives you a chance to play a role in public that is unavailable to you at home.

-- November 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You just want to be loved. The way you handle money or the way in which you treat your possessions might make a special someone doubt your sincerity. Avoid impulse-shopping sprees.

-- November 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If you want to 'walk in beauty, like the night,' all you need is a suitable place to stroll. There is no reason to be on the road to nowhere, where nobody can appreciate your talents and assets.

-- November 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Drain the swamp. Small misunderstandings can create a breeding ground for discontent. If you are unhappy with unpleasant conditions, this could be the perfect week to make sweeping changes.

-- November 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Pay attention to the changing of the guard. You might have existing commitments that center on home and family, but work or the pursuit of profitable employment might need to take center stage.

-- November 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Color yourself true blue. A lingering suspicion that a lack of loyalty lurks in the shadows could put you and a loved one at odds. It is very tempting to equate possessiveness or jealousy with true regard.

-- November 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Lighthearted teasing is supposed to be just for fun. If you poke fun at someone, however, they may only notice the poke. Don't do or say anything that could be misconstrued and cause misunderstandings.

-- November 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Put things in perspective. You may have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but that makes it tough to speak succinctly. You need not be ashamed of possessing an embarrassment of riches.

-- November 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Pin the tail to the donkey. You might be operating in the dark or feel as though you are blindfolded when faced by certain issues. Rely upon internal radar to steer you through social and business activities.

-- November 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, and Johnny Mathis.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?
A: Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Sense and sensitivity aren't quite the same thing. Using common sense when handling money or social affairs can make transactions and activities flow smoothly. Use a little tough love today.

-- November 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. Wishful thinking might not get you what you want. On the other hand, during the week ahead look closely since you might get just what you need.

-- November 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Like Mona Lisa's slightly skewed smile, sometimes a small flaw makes something more intriguing or beguiling. It isn't necessary to be overly critical of a mistake.

-- November 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Thank your lucky stars. If you need assistance or a favor, an angelic person will probably appear to provide just what you need. This is a fabulous time to play kiss and make up with someone you value.

-- November 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Your faith in others will be rewarded. This is a good time to make far-reaching decisions that involve home or family. You may benefit from your work in subtle ways or notice conditions improve.

-- November 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Time and tide wait for no one. Put important plans into motion while the stars, and your most significant companions or advisors, smile on your endeavors. There is no better time than now to begin.

-- November 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Business must take precedence over pleasure. You might work more efficiently if you close the door and refuse to engage in lighthearted water cooler banter. Romantic overtures could fall flat tonight.

-- November 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

A blonde woman gets pulled over for doing 85 in a 25mph
zone. The cop asks her for her license and registration.
She says, "License, what's that?"

He replies, "It's what they ask for when you buy liquor."

She says, "Oh, I get it," and hands him her license.

Then she asks what a registration is. He says, "It's
probably in your glove box. Just open it and give me the
papers inside." She does, so he returns to his car.

He calls the police dispatcher and says, "I think I
just pulled over the dumbest blonde ever! She didn't
even know what a license was."

The dispatcher says, "I know who she is. She's driving
a new BMW, with pink mirrors."

The cop says, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

The dispatcher says, "Never mind that, just go up to her
car and drop your pants."

The cop says, "No freakin' way!"

The dispatcher says, "Just trust me, all the cops in
town have done it."

So the cop agrees and reluctantly walks up to her car.
He looks around and then drops his pants.

The blonde woman says, "Another breathalyzer test? No
problem, I pass these all the time.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't just mix the cake ingredients and expect to eat dessert. You have to bake it and take it out of the oven, too, to enjoy final results. Don't abandon a project or ambition prematurely.

-- November 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

The blondes at the university led by Suzy, were tired of
not fitting in. They were tired of other students
ssuming they were just stupid bimbo's. They wanted
somewhere where they felt they belonged.

So Suzy pressured the administration to set up a new
Department especially for them. The university agreed
and set up the Blonde Education Department.

Suzy and the blondes were ecstatic to have a department
of their own where they could gather without being
ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now. They
wanted other students to see that they weren't just
stupid bimbo's -- after all, they now had their own
department at the university.

So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt
of the Blonde Education Department designed by Suzy
which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D."

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It is difficult to put a foot wrong this week. Get in touch with relatives or close friends and flaunt your social charms. A little attention and concern work more magic than money to impress others.

-- November 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why do blonde's get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If past is just prologue, then it is time to live in the present. You can pretend to be the action figure that stars in your personal screenplay. Go out of your way to make someone feel more at ease today.

-- November 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing
board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

[teapeebubbles]

Miss Adams was explaining multi-syllable words to her
third-grade class. "You all know single-syllable words
like hand, foot, house, and dog, but some words are
made up of more than one syllable," she said. "Now who
can give me an example of a word made up of MORE than
one syllable."

Little Johnie raised his hand eagerly.

"All right, Johnie, go ahead," smiled Miss Adams.

"Autoeroticism," beamed little Johnie.

"My goodness, Johnie, that's a mouthful," marveled
Miss Adams.

"No, Miss Adams, that's masturbation," explained
Johnie. "You're thinking of a blowjob."

[teapeebubbles]

10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School

1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except
for virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.

2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school
just sucks.

3. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After
school you feel like smoking something a whole lot
stronger.

4. You get disciplined during sex only if you want to.

5. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives
people to drink.

6. Sex relieves stress, school is the cause of stress.

7. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with
sex.

8. After sex you feel like you have accomplished
something.

9. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker,
it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars
in tuition.

10. At least you have a choice whether or not you want
to have sex. At school your teachers screw you
regardless.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Strategies might be put into action that causes a rift between you and a close companion. You can avoid losing money, time -- and your temper -- by refusing to make investments or decisions today.

-- November 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

[teapeebubbles]

Miriam gets married and a year later goes into hospital
and gives birth to triplets. All her family and friends
are shocked when they hear the news - they know of no
one who has had triplets before. As soon as she hears
the news, Miriam's mother-in-law Fay goes to visit her
daughter-in-law in hospital. As soon as she arrives,
Fay hands over the bunch of grapes and says, "What a
surprise, Miriam. No one on our side of the family has
ever had twins before, let alone triplets."

"Yes, it was a bit of a shock," replies Miriam, "but
I'm getting over it. By the way, my doctor tells me
that triplets only happen once every hundred thousand
times."

"Oy vey, Miriam," says Fay, "how on earth did you find
the time to do your housework?"

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her
more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: All's well that ends well. Minor aggravations will dissipate but launching a new project too quickly may not be wise. Experiment with something novel to help you achieve celebrity status for a few hours.

-- November 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your
refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Although relationships may have ups and downs like a roller coaster, true love will ride it out with a smile. Make it a priority to get extra exercise during the next several weeks, even if all you do is mall-walking.

-- November 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Domestic matters can be invigorated by adding a spark of elegance. Try the latest recipe to make a gourmet dinner. Impress a special someone by creating an atmosphere of comfort and sophistication.

-- November 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You have played by the rules and now you have earned your treat. A key relationship may have felt somewhat hemmed in by conditions and terms. You have accomplished what you set out to do.

-- November 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The best things in life are free. Enjoy your day to the fullest but try to keep the spending to a minimum. Money may get tighter later in the week, so spend wisely and enjoy quality time with loved ones.

-- November 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't jump to conclusions. Avoid making snap judgments until all the facts have presented themselves. Keep your composure throughout the day even if you sense that your authority is challenged.

-- December 1, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Take the proverbial bull by the horns and hold on tight. Situations could arise that throw you off balance. Don't lose your poise or equilibrium if there is a green-eyed monster or possessiveness at play.

-- December 2, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: There's no limit on what you can accomplish. Discuss things with a significant other, co-worker or friend. Pay homage to the fundamentals of convention, but don't be afraid to go out on a limb.

-- December 3, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't please all the people all the time. Steer clear of power struggles and do your best to sidestep arguments and hostilities. Certain people are playing games -- and following their own set of rules.

-- December 4, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, and Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The truth will set you free. Be honest and candid. Even a small lie could snowball into a major problem. Speak with actions rather than words. Above all, resist an irresistible bargain.

[teapeebubbles]

Secret Diary of a Nymphomaniac "The funniest, steamiest, raunchiest, cheekiest comedy in 10 years"
Oh! Emma! The Secret Diary of a (unrepentant) Nymphomaniac

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: When the clouds part, the true sky is revealed. A casual disclosure could place someone close to you in a different light. Use this knowledge to your advantage, but do not risk finances or your peace of mind.

-- December 6, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remember the lesson of the ancient mariner. Something that is 'new and improved' might end up becoming an albatross around your neck. This is a good week to welcome calm seas and boredom.

-- December 7, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Live and let live. The attractive person who is on your mind might be thinking about you, as well. You might be able to smooth things over gracefully if there is an awkward situation to handle.

-- December 8, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Catch a falling star. Friends may need a helping hand if they fall from grace. Your support and assistance will be valued. You are a bit wiser than usual and can offer advice or guidance to younger people.

-- December 9, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can mend fences successfully under these stars. At the same time, you won't want to remove them entirely or begin any major undertaking. There is a possibility of unusual or unexpected results.

-- December 10, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, and Sigourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Diamonds are forever. It is far better to wait to possess one piece of really good jewelry than to waste money on glass. Casual infatuations could waste your time when lasting romance is on your mind.

-- December 11, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, and Mira Sorvino.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her
bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.

[teapeebubbles]

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her
stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What's the most active muscle in a woman?
A: The penis.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: All work and no play make Jack and Jill quite dull, but this isn't the time to slack off. There will be plenty of time to romp and roam in the near future, but right now you need to watch your p's and q's.

-- December 12, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: A little flirtation could grow into a major infatuation. Today's stars offer the perfect setting to develop warm loving feelings so take advantage of them by spending time with a special someone.

-- December 13, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Hustle around the clock. Those with miles to go before they sleep must remain poised for surprises and a change in plans. Expect to be the object of someone's tender attentions later this week.

-- December 14, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't play dumb. You are aware that someone has high expectations and will not accept slipshod work. Showing off and strutting your stuff without producing something concrete might cause a blowup.

-- December 15, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Trust that your head will keep your heart from breaking. A companion or significant other might want to rush in to a new project. It is time that someone is reminded to start with baby steps.

-- December 16, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

It’s happened to everyone before. The constant flow of words that just keep coming, long after you’ve made your point (if there ever was one) and even longer after people stopped caring. The kind of gibberish that just won’t stop unless someone else starts talking. The type of chatter that inevitably ends with you wishing you’d put a sock in it.


Yes, verbal diarrhea is never a good thing – but it can be worse in some places more than others.


Like the workplace.


There are certain things co-workers need not know about each other – your baby-making plans and stomach issues, for example – but some folks just can’t seem to keep their mouths shut.


Some people talk to hear the sound of their own voice; others share because they don’t really have a life and, by revealing details you’d rather not know, they create the illusion of one, says Linda Lopeke, a career advancement expert and creator of SmartStart Virtual Mentoring Programs. “Then there is the person who believes gossip, even about them, creates instant emotional intimacy. It doesn’t.”


Walk the line


Because people spend more time at the office with co-workers than anywhere (or anyone) else, some workers have trouble drawing the line between business and friendship, says Susan Solovic, co-founder and CEO of SBTV.com, and author of three books, including “Reinvent Your Career: Attain the Success You Desire and Deserve.”


“It’s a social environment as well as a work environment. However, you must remember while you can be friendly and develop a good rapport, business is business and friendship is friendship.”


Most workers don’t realize that what they say has as much impact on their professional images as what they wear, Lopeke says. People who say too much, about themselves or others, can be seen as incompetent, unproductive and unworthy of professional development.


To avoid your next case of verbal diarrhea, here are 13 things to never share or discuss with your co-workers.


1. Salary information
What you earn is between you and Human Resources, Solovic says. Disclosure indicates you aren’t capable of keeping a confidence.


2. Medical history
“Nobody really cares about your aches and pains, your latest operation, your infertility woes or the contents of your medicine cabinet,” Lopeke says. To your employer, your constant medical issues make you seem like an expensive, high-risk employee.


3. Gossip
Whomever you’re gossiping with will undoubtedly tell others what you said, Solovic says. Plus, if a co-worker is gossiping with you, most likely he or she will gossip about you.


4. Work complaints
Constant complaints about your workload, stress levels or the company will quickly make you the kind of person who never gets invited to lunch, Solovic warns. If you don’t agree with company policies and procedures, address it through official channels or move on.


5. Cost of purchases
The spirit of keeping up with the Joneses is alive and well in the workplace, Lopeke says, but you don’t want others speculating on the lifestyle you’re living –or if you’re living beyond your salary bracket.


6. Intimate details
Don’t share intimate details about your personal life. Co-workers can and will use the information against you, Solovic says.


7. Politics or religion
“People have strong, passionate views on both topics,” Solovic says. You may alienate a co-worker or be viewed negatively in a way that could impact your career.


8. Lifestyle changes
Breakups, divorces and baby-making plans should be shared only if there is a need to know, Lopeke says. Otherwise, others will speak for your capabilities, desires and limitations on availability, whether there is any truth to their assumptions or not.


9. Blogs or social networking profile
What you say in a social networking community or in your personal blog may be even more damaging than what you say in person, Solovic warns. “Comments online can be seen by multiple eyes. An outburst of anger when you are having a bad day … can blow up in your face.”


10. Negative views of colleagues
If you don’t agree with a co-worker’s lifestyle, wardrobe or professional abilities, confront that person privately or keep it to yourself, Lopeke says. The workplace is not the venue for controversy.


11. Hangovers and wild weekends
It’s perfectly fine to have fun during the weekend, but don’t talk about your wild adventures on Monday, Solovic advises. That information can make you look unprofessional and unreliable.


12. Personal problems and relationships – in and out of the office
“Failed marriages and volatile romances spell instability to an employer,” Lopeke says. Office romances lead to gossip and broken hearts, so it’s best to steer clear. “The safest way to play is to follow the rule, ‘Never get your honey where you get your money.’”


13. Off-color or racially charged comments
You can assume your co-worker wouldn’t be offended or would think something is funny, but you might be wrong, Solovic says. Never take that risk. Furthermore, even if you know for certain your colleague wouldn’t mind your comment, don’t talk about it at work. Others can easily overhear.


Rachel Zupek is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Beauty is only skin deep, but the depths of your passions make you glow on the outside. This is a favorable time to buy something you have planned on, but not a good time to act on a sudden whim.

-- December 17, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, and Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Allow other people an opportunity to act independently. Just because someone is clamoring for extra attention doesn't mean you should lose your cool or yield to someone's desire to make a change in plans.

-- December 18, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fool around and fall in love. This could be a favorable time to buy personal items that reflect your good taste and add to your sex appeal or a fabulous night to snuggle up with a favorite playmate.

-- December 19, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Set the stage, light the lights. Soft lights and soothing music could put someone in the mood for amorous undertakings this evening. You are likely to appear in a flattering light if you attend a public function.

-- December 20, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, and Johnny Mathis.

[teapeebubbles]

Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day,
so she went to her doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like?

Blonde: I was running in a hallway.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single
dream, the same thing happened. I would always
come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I
kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but
it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?

Blonde: Yes, it did.

Doctor: And what did the letters spell?

Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L."

[teapeebubbles]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in
horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of
men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his
hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began
to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical
Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few
minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony,
lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands
together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to
help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to
the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several
long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: 'It feels great, but my thumb still hurts
like hell.'

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: 'Tis the season. Take a moment to reconsider an extravagant purchase made earlier in the week. It might be wise to exchange it for something that is more suited to the recipient's taste -- as well as to your wallet.

-- December 21, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, and Kellie Martin.

[teapeebubbles]

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a
virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you
explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your
private place 'the prison' and call my private thing
'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in
the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed,
smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner
seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have
to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for
his cigarettes. But the girl, thoroughly enjoying the
new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive
smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady
legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back
on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped
again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's
not a life sentence!"

[teapeebubbles]

A Blonde's Year in Review:

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March
Got really excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours . Power went out!!!


May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
Water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.. Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October
Hate M &M's they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days . Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!




THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut a gain. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.


Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"


To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Expect the unexpected. Take minor tensions and surprises in stride and don't be upset if others are a bit unpredictable. Stay snug as a bug at home and wrap presents or bake cookies.

-- December 22, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: With Venus and Chiron hanging out together for several days, matters of love might have a special spark this week. You are at your charming best when entertaining friends and family.

-- December 23, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Just like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you will get a chance to shine this weekend. Tender feelings are at the forefront of any romantic relationship and deepened commitments are possible.

-- December 24, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Plant yourself right under the mistletoe, as you might attract more than the expected kiss. A charming someone might be full of romantic ideas, rather than visions of sugarplums, and sweep you off your feet.

-- December 25, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Love me tender. Elvis was just sighted, or so it said on the news, and you should be ready with your blue suede shoes to go dancing or romancing. Deep understanding can be achieved with loved ones.

-- December 26, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, and Kate Winslet.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: One good turn deserves another. Believe the sincere promises received from your loved ones and your trust won't be misplaced. This is a good time to straighten out a rocky romance or misunderstanding.

-- December 27, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: If you're feeling like you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, maybe it is time to give your dreams structure. This is a good week to develop some ambition and make some resolutions.

-- December 28, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Dig deep. Discover what others think and remain attentive to their opinions. It is a good time to explore hidden feelings and bring them out into the open. Don't be afraid to discuss points of disagreement.

-- December 29, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: (September 24 to October 23)
Someone who energises you is great to work with. There is an opportunity to bounce around ideas, pool resources and pick up useful tips for the future. Your public relations skills are currently exemplary.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't forget to employ spit and polish. You may be called upon to attend functions where it is necessary to maintain a professional image. Apply a careful balance of genuine friendliness and dignity.

-- December 30, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Blow a party horn. You might have some time for romantic frolics in the evening ahead. Remember to set your sights on an appropriate partner so that you can grab a kiss when the clock strikes midnight.

-- December 31, 2008

Who else was born under LIBRA? Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: That romantic vision is not a mirage, but someone's irresistible charms might still be out of reach. This holiday will be a more of a success if you concentrate on family gatherings, feasting and football.

-- January 1, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Quit meddling with your relationships. Like the cook who accidentally adds too much spice to a plain dish to enhance the flavors, you run the risk of spoiling something by fussing with it too much.

-- January 2, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, and Joan Cusack.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Mountains could be made out of molehills. You can't mix business with pleasure without causing some hurt feelings or a misunderstanding. Keep your money in your piggy bank and don't sign contracts.

-- January 3, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Fight off headwinds by flying low to the ground this week. If you let your imagination soar too high, you might misinterpret a loved one or create a misunderstanding. Midweek, you can apologize or ask for favors.

-- January 4, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The hounds seldom catch the sly old fox. You can pick up the scent of confidential information and put it to good use in the future. Be discreet. Someone might be suspicious if you probe too deeply.

-- January 5, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, and Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Take no prisoners. Use your incredible passions for making money or excelling in the business world or career. Turn a competitor or enemy into a staunch ally and you can turn yourself into the conquering hero.

-- January 6, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, and Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Treat yourself to a little reward. The task at hand may not be complete, but you can find a tiny pleasure to give you the incentive to finish the job and provide a much-needed escape for a few hours.

-- January 7, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Buy something of taste and distinction. Something that has merit might catch your eye. On the other hand, a person who is extremely sincere and honest, and would make a good teammate, might come into view.

-- January 8, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Tend your social garden. Every farmer knows to make hay while the Sun shines. The celestial weather could be perfect to mend fences, ask for favors or buy something that shows your good taste.

-- January 9, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Get a little bit romantic. Restless weekend warriors are beating a path to a hospitable door and yearning for some tender words. Setting the scene for sizzling intimacies can take a lot of forethought.

-- January 10, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Remain alert for the underlying context. In the upcoming week, you may be subjected to criticism or have your kindnesses rebuffed. You could feel this is unfair, but need to place it in proportion.

-- January 11, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Go far to explore the outer limits of love. Make sure that the people you love and admire are apprised of your feelings and thoughts. A quick phone call is reassuring to someone who feels left out.

-- January 12, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, and Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Don't mix business with pleasure. Being overtly flirtatious could backfire with people you are trying to impress. Avoid being aggressive or focusing on business goals in social situations.

-- January 13, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, and Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It is sometimes better to fold than to keep on throwing good money after bad. Play the cards that you are dealt only if you have a hand worth playing. You won't be able to bluff your way to the top.

-- January 14, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Recharge your batteries. It is not a fortuitous time for taking on any heavy responsibilities or making weighty decisions. Enjoy making plans for the upcoming weekend; spend time with family.

-- January 15, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, and Toni Braxton.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Work hard so that you can play hard this weekend. Finish up those nagging household chores or job related deadlines. Pay heed to those you deem to be critics; their advice could be valuable.

-- January 16, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, and Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Good friends make us richer. Explore the wealth you already have piled up by surrounding yourself with those who are nearest and dearest to your heart. Spend time at a friendly local gathering.

-- January 17, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Charity begins at home. Home is where you can most easily accept the eccentricities of others -- and where they can forgive you your foibles. Give a family member the benefit of the doubt this week.

-- January 18, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Flash your dazzling smile. The best way to knock the chip off a competitor's shoulder is to pat him or her on the back. A kind word and some sincere compliments can win someone's heart, too.

-- January 19, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Rita Hayworth.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Social activities can be the center of attention. Spend time with loved ones or bring a friend home to dinner. Get professional advice to make sensible final decisions about certain financial commitments.

-- January 20, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Eric Stoltz, Sting, Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, and Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The only thing that never changes is the fact that everything always changes. You may need your track shoes to keep up with social activities. Breaks from routines can be disruptive but refreshing.

-- January 21, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, Sting, and Daniel Baldwin.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Play "hot potato." Those around you will give you the hints necessary to know when you have found the right button to push for success or love. Keep following the clues to land a deal or a promise.

-- January 22, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: It is best to remain betwixt and between. Don't choose sides or take offense. A lack of trust or sneaking suspicions might spoil your evening. Rest on your laurels and avoid making public appearances.

-- January 23, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may be facing a pile of questions without a shovel at hand. Rather than concentrating on an overwhelming set of circumstances, try sneaking off to a quiet corner and meditating on the best tactics.

-- January 24, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Daniel Baldwin, Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can be bitter or you can be better. Adopt a rational approach to your love life and if someone doesn't live up to your expectations this week, consider changing the your expectations, not the other person.

-- January 25, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kate Winslet, Toni Braxton, Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, and John Lennon.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Enjoy the lull or a lullaby. While the pace of your everyday life is quiet, you can take a nap or review your options. There is time to reassess hobbies, pastimes, recreational activities and even your love life.

-- January 26, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Neither a borrower nor a lender be. When something grabs your attention, you tend to want it right now. But instant gratification could prove costly if you must pressure someone or stretch the budget.

-- January 27, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Still waters run deep. The significant other in your life could have hidden depths and this may be an auspicious time to plumb them. Don't ignore opportunities to apologize or to be a team player.

-- January 28, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, Fran Drescher, Eric Stoltz, and Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You may be painting yourself into a corner. You might let someone think you are better or more talented than you really are. Take a new relationship slowly until you know exactly where you stand.

-- January 29, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Michael Douglas, Heather Locklear, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenna Elfman, and Julie Andrews.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: What seems the most important could only be the lure of competition challenging you to perform feats of daring. You may need to put on your track shoes to keep up with energetic partners today.

-- January 30, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, Alicia Silverstone, and Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Everybody loves somebody sometime. You might fall head over heels in love or a new acquaintance might make you aware of an infatuation. Wait until the dust settles to be sure this is a real thing.

-- January 31, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, Arthur Miller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbara Walters, and Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Reduce recreation and retreat from retribution. Your love for fun and desire for entertainment may temporarily behave like those Shrinky Dink toys. Don't blame others for your lack of interest this week.

-- February 1, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, and Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: You can't change the past, just the future. Be a busy beaver and burn the midnight oil where career matters are concerned. You don't want to be left hanging when the rewards and promotions are handed out.

-- February 2, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, John Lennon, Johnny Mathis, and Arthur Miller.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Working at cross-purposes may be the only work that gets done. Take your time and get prepared for new projects or tasks. Hold off on starting them, as there could be a surprise or change ahead.

-- February 3, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, and Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: The pressure is on and therefore you may be tempted to go to extremes. Some people think that all emotional expression on the job or in public is completely taboo, while others "let it all hang out."

-- February 4, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, and Jean Claude van Damme.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Stick to the script. You are a sucker for sensual stimulus under these celestial conditions and might feel the urge to ad lib if someone strokes your ego. Make no crucial investments.

-- February 5, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Be sensible, thoughtful and wise. Sometimes the best executive decision is no decision at all. Making snap judgments and relying upon quick reactions could stir up some unnecessary trouble.

-- February 6, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jean Claude van Damme, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, Angie Dickinson, Michael Douglas, and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Partners may be in an amorous and playful mood. This isn't a good time to make a commitment or a promise -- but that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Find things to do that don't cost an arm and a leg.

-- February 7, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, Tim Robbins, Kellie Martin, Jean Claude van Damme, and Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Tune in to the magic of the moment and tune out your doubts and cares. There is a full moon this week that could pinpoint ways that you can go the extra mile to honor the promises you have made.

-- February 8, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, and Tim Robbins.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Hindsight is always 20-20. You may have a chance to see what you could have done differently in regards to a friendship. Although you cannot alter the past, you can resolve to improve the future.

-- February 9, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Jenna Elfman, Julie Andrews, Sting, Neve Campbell, Susan Sarandon, and Alicia Silverstone.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Wish upon a twinkling star. If you want something badly enough, you are bound to receive it if you are persistent. Shake off the little irritations of life and concentrate on what brings joy and happiness.

-- February 10, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, Luke Perry, Kelly Preston, and Angela Lansbury.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Spin straw into gold by writing down interesting ideas and inspirations. Love and romance run smoothly under these stars. Don't sweep personal problems under the rug -- face them boldly.

-- February 11, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Good posture is more than just a matter of etiquette. Keep your shoulders back and walk proudly. Romantic dreams can become a reality under these pleasant stars if you walk the straight and narrow.

-- February 12, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Damon, John Lennon, Joan Cusack, and Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

LIBRA: Smooth sailing is to be expected in career or relationship areas. Sidestep unreasonable people and emotional situations for the best results. Those who are the soul of honor receive the highest accolades.

-- February 13, 2009

Who else was born under LIBRA? Alicia Silverstone, Julio Iglesias, Christopher Reeve, Linda Hamilton, Mira Sorvino, and Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

If there is a Valentine's Day dance, your dance card will fill up fast. The type of gift that works the best as a treat on this holiday for lovers is either dark chocolate, sheer, or comes in a plain brown wrapper.

-- Saturday, Feb 14, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Kelly Preston, Julio Iglesias, Daniel Baldwin, Angela Lansbury, Julio Iglesias, Jean Claude van Damme, Olivia Newton John, Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

This week, forget the past and move toward the future. Let bygones be bygones; make the first move towards reconciling a conflict. Love and romance may erupt from an unexpected source.

-- Sunday, Feb 15, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Eleanor Roosevelt, Julie Andrews, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Gwyneth Paltrow, Neve Campbell, Kelly Preston, Johnny Mathis, Christopher Reeve.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

All shiny yellow rocks are not gold. Do not leap into an investment opportunity simply because it seems too good to pass up. You'll be left on a longer leash by superiors as attentions are focused on other matters.

-- Monday, Feb 16, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Julio Iglesias, Heather Locklear, Linda Hamilton, Kellie Martin, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Sigourney Weaver, Sting, Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Your love life could be heating up. In some cases, however, a high temperature is a sign that one is ailing. Be careful in social situations, as your actions could be misconstrued. Curl up with a book at home.

-- Tuesday, Feb 17, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Arthur Miller, Olivia Newton John, Kellie Martin, Daniel Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Kelly Preston, Matt Damon, Toni Braxton.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Sometimes you are the sidekick rather than the star. Your personal wishes and desires take a back seat to the whims of a dynamic "alpha." Ride the shirttails of this go-getter to bigger and better opportunities.

-- Wednesday, Feb 18, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Toni Braxton, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Susan Sarandon, Kelly Preston, Eric Stoltz, Linda Hamilton, Sting, Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Don't burn bridges at both ends. You should be content with what you have and whom you are with, though you may think that you need more. Don't butt heads with a confidant due to unrealistic goals.

-- Thursday, Feb 19, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Michael Douglas, Sting, Sting, Sigourney Weaver, Tim Robbins, Toni Braxton, Angie Dickinson, Matt Damon.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Weigh the options carefully. New information may contain some elements of truth but some facts may be spread rather thin. Enter into a new relationship without any expectations and you will enjoy it.

-- Friday, Feb 20, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Angie Dickinson, Kate Winslet, Johnny Mathis, Luke Perry, Michael Douglas, Fran Drescher, Michael Douglas, Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Permit yourself to be serenaded with poetry and music. A special someone's kind words will brighten your day. All the information may not be accurate, but you should enjoy the way that it is presented.

-- Saturday, Feb 21, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Susan Sarandon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael Douglas, Chevy Chase, Jean Claude van Damme, Julie Andrews, Oscar Wilde, Julio Iglesias.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Love wasn't meant to be put on a balance sheet. If you have to weigh the differences between two people or opportunities this week, just go with whatever stirs your heart. You will be glad you did.

-- Sunday, Feb 22, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Carrie Fisher, Sting, Heather Locklear, Neve Campbell, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Ray Charles.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

You can only learn when you are listening. You never learn anything when you are talking. Play a game that involves listening to others and learning how to do something you weren't aware you could do.

-- Monday, Feb 23, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Sigourney Weaver, Johnny Mathis, Linda Hamilton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Julie Andrews, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Kelly Preston, Heather Locklear.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

You are batting a thousand where money or love is concerned. Everyone feels more alluring and attractive when the cash is flowing in. Concentrate on making shrewd investments and love will follow.

-- Tuesday, Feb 24, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
John Lennon, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Sting, Tim Robbins, Rita Hayworth, Fran Drescher, Julie Andrews, Barbara Walters.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Avoid being the instigator of quarrels and misunderstandings. You may be feeling insecure and demand a commitment when the timing isn't right. Trust that others will do what was promised, as promised.

-- Wednesday, Feb 25, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Heather Locklear, Tim Robbins, Julio Iglesias, Suzanne Somers, Linda Hamilton, Signourney Weaver, Daniel Baldwin, Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

What you say is more important than what you do. If someone close confuses you or seems temporarily doubtful, just be patient and say soothing things. Lighthearted flirtations shouldn't be taken seriously.

-- Thursday, Feb 26, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Suzanne Somers, John Lennon, Fran Drescher, Sting, Angela Lansbury, Eleanor Roosevelt, Oscar Wilde, Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Relationships are like Humpty Dumpty. If you force commitment issues something may break. Once broken, all the king's horses and all the king's men are of no help at all.

-- Friday, Feb 27, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Chevy Chase, Joan Cusack, Angie Dickinson, Kellie Martin, Alicia Silverstone, Rita Hayworth, Kelly Preston, Carrie Fisher.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Concede a point. You will find it is not essential. Someone famous once said, "If you are losing a tug-of-war with a tiger, give him the rope before he gets to your arm. You can always buy a new rope."

-- Saturday, Feb 28, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Chevy Chase, Rita Hayworth, Julio Iglesias, Jenna Elfman, Joan Cusack, Sigourney Weaver, Susan Sarandon, Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

A relationship that is neglected could slip through the cracks. It is in your best interest to remain on friendly terms with everyone this week. Don't let work or a busy schedule make you appear distant.

-- Sunday, Mar 01, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Tim Robbins, Sigourney Weaver, Barbara Walters, Chevy Chase, Matt Damon, Michael Douglas, Christopher Reeve, Sting.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Remain focused on the most significant goals. You could be briefly discouraged by the need to comply with rules, regulations or conventional attitudes that are at odds with your long term objectives.

-- Monday, Mar 02, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Kelly Preston, Julio Iglesias, Sting, Suzanne Somers, Signourney Weaver, Heather Locklear, Gwyneth Paltrow, Linda Hamilton.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Don't debate the intangible. The only things you can depend upon today are the rules and history. Sometimes it is best to go along with the crowd, bow out of a confrontation and kowtow to the status quo.

-- Tuesday, Mar 03, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Toni Braxton, Christopher Reeve, Heather Locklear, Eleanor Roosevelt, Julio Iglesias, Chevy Chase, Alicia Silverstone, Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Old job routines could be thrown out the window. Following romantic whims could yield the satisfying experience you crave, but it might be better to be safe than sorry for an indiscretion.

-- Wednesday, Mar 04, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Olivia Newton John, Alicia Silverstone, Kate Winslet, Eric Stoltz, Christopher Reeve, Oscar Wilde, Angie Dickinson, Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

It might be time to put your heart on the line as bait. If you are simply looking for a quick fling, you have to be more cautious than usual. You might not be aware of some secrets hidden beneath the surface.

-- Thursday, Mar 05, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Arthur Miller, Sting, Alicia Silverstone, Eric Stoltz, Joan Cusack, Carrie Fisher, Julio Iglesias, Signourney Weaver.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Don't shirk duties, no matter how distasteful. You will find that evasiveness undermines your reputation but that being truthful brings rewards. Someone is willing to help you out if needed.

-- Friday, Mar 06, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Michael Douglas, Joan Cusack, Alicia Silverstone, Jean Claude van Damme, Mira Sorvino, Ray Charles, Gwyneth Paltrow, Heather Locklear.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Take it easy. You can't reach prime objectives by starting something new right now, even if all your friends are urging you on. Patience is one of the best virtues to concentrate upon this weekend.

-- Saturday, Mar 07, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Susan Sarandon, Neve Campbell, Michael Douglas, Sigourney Weaver, Daniel Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Jean Claude van Damme, Eric Stoltz.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

A small indiscretion might place a barrier between you and a friend. Later this week, you may have a chance to repair the damage. Make sure plans include asking for help with a work related project.

-- Sunday, Mar 08, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Jean Claude van Damme, John Lennon, Fran Drescher, Daniel Baldwin, John Lennon, Sting, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Grab the roses and disregard the thorns. Someone's kindhearted gesture might rub you the wrong way or sting a bit, but you must take into consideration the fact that the intentions are entirely good.

-- Monday, Mar 09, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Ray Charles, Suzanne Somers, Rita Hayworth, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alicia Silverstone, Jenna Elfman, Kelly Preston, Angie Dickinson.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Never throw good money after bad. Money tends to leave your pocket before it has a chance to pick up lint. A frivolous flirtation could brighten your day even if it isn't anything to be taken seriously.

-- Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Luke Perry, Michael Douglas, Suzanne Somers, Angie Dickinson, Sting, Ray Charles, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Susan Sarandon.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Turn a pipe dream into something rock solid you can count on. A new relationship may take off like a house on fire or enchanted moments with the one you love could put the roses back in your cheeks.

-- Wednesday, Mar 11, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Sting, Kelly Preston, Chevy Chase, Joan Cusack, Julio Iglesias, Kellie Martin, Susan Sarandon, Jenna Elfman.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Preen the plumage. Some compliments need to be taken with a grain of salt, but it still feels good to hear an encouraging word from others. Earn the high regard of a special someone by being true blue.

-- Thursday, Mar 12, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Christopher Reeve, Eric Stoltz, Ray Charles, Sigourney Weaver, Alicia Silverstone, Linda Hamilton, Angie Dickinson, Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Happy hour might be happier than anticipated. A cosmic matchmaker might put you in touch with a perfect partner. You might strike up a valuable friendship by just being in the right place at the right time.

-- Friday, Mar 13, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Johnny Mathis, Sting, Eleanor Roosevelt, Angie Dickinson, Kellie Martin, Tim Robbins, Eric Stoltz, Suzanne Somers.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

While Venus is in your opposite sign you might feel that all of your relationships are running quite smoothly. At the same time you might resent the fact that you can't always be the center of attention.

-- Saturday, Mar 14, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Sting, Oscar Wilde, Arthur Miller, Jean Claude van Damme, Gwyneth Paltrow, John Lennon, Suzanne Somers, Luke Perry.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

All that glitters isn't gold. It is possible that you think something or someone is quite desirable. Your heart is in the right place, but someone else's might not be keeping pace in the week to come.

-- Sunday, Mar 15, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Gwyneth Paltrow, Chevy Chase, Ray Charles, Kelly Preston, Alicia Silverstone, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Kate Winslet, Fran Drescher.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

A relationship might fit you like a glove. If you are looking for love, you will find it in all the right places. Even the most self-absorbed person will not be able to resist your charms and enticements tonight.

-- Monday, Mar 16, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Neve Campbell, Johnny Mathis, John Lennon, Alicia Silverstone, Signourney Weaver, Kelly Preston, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Michael Douglas.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

If you can dance a jig you can juggle your social schedule. It should be a good time to make public appearances, to ask for small favors, or to joyously lure a romantic partner into your enticing arms.

-- Tuesday, Mar 17, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Carrie Fisher, Chevy Chase, Neve Campbell, Rita Hayworth, Michael Douglas, Tim Robbins, Suzanne Somers, Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Opposites attract. But it is always birds of a feather that eventually flock together. Sudden attractions that don't last are highlighted under these cosmic conditions so don't give your heart away.

-- Wednesday, Mar 18, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Angie Dickinson, John Lennon, Signourney Weaver, Olivia Newton John, Gwyneth Paltrow, Joan Cusack, Alicia Silverstone, Kelly Preston.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Play the game for keeps. Find a congenial partner for some mutual enjoyment. Whether you have a family to cherish or a romantic twinkle in your eye, it is a good time to socialize and enjoy companionship.

-- Thursday, Mar 19, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Sting, Carrie Fisher, Arthur Miller, Neve Campbell, Eric Stoltz, John Lennon, Kelly Preston, Chevy Chase.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Learn the art of saying no. Everything will work out for the best if you remain polite and as nice as pie, but don't accept proposals or propositions now. It is easy to overlook a troublesome loophole.

-- Friday, Mar 20, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Signourney Weaver, Eric Stoltz, Barbara Walters, Joan Cusack, Linda Hamilton, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Matt Damon, Eleanor Roosevelt.

[teapeebubbles]

Libra

Be as nice as possible to everyone. The cosmic forecast could upset your plans. Hold off on making key decisions or starting any important new undertakings until this temporary turbulence recedes.

-- Saturday, Mar 21, 2009

Who else was born under Libra?
Kate Winslet, Alicia Silverstone, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Arthur Miller, Daniel Baldwin, Chevy Chase, Suzanne Somers, Julie Andrews.