I also had a wife who died when she was young (38) in 1997. Closest I ever came to picking up a drink again. I had been clean and sober for 7 years at the time but her last wish was that I not ever drink again so that commitment won out in the end.
My friend, Walt, tried AA several times but could not accept the "higher power" thing so he relapsed every time. Don't know how spiritual your neighbor is, and it is a difficult subject to breach, but I think that is a necessary ingredient to take a step toward accepting taking a step toward treatment
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