So very very sorry that you lost your wife. 1993-2000 seemed like terrible things going on in the world, and staggering losses that would test anyone's faith. Sounds like you had a rare strongly supportive relationship.
As to Nam, and PTSD, it seems that there were many small missions involving just a few guys, and the burden of secrecy afterward, on the shoulders of such young people, the conflict of "following orders" vs. one's upbringing -- childhood religious education and social mores... Really could do a job on someone's head.
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