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Welcome to the board couchspud...post away!
btw...I just banned his azz, he's kinda slow so it'll take 15-20 minutes to unban himself.
How you doin mi amigo?
Hey ya larry...cartard is being a poop chute today!
What did you say? lol
I can leave if you want me to, prick?
lol
No market for the type of oranges, cost more to farm the grove than it produced...!
Yes there is...but that was an orange grove for 80+ years, got ripped out about five or so years ago...
Thats fertile farm land, freshly plowed...desert is a good 100 yds away. lol
They're some handsome boys....
Thats mighty tough talk from a second rate bed wetter...
Just buy a cow, let it eat and crap in your garden, name it T-Bone, call it a pet, get attached to it and then you can butcher ol T-Bone and have some BEEF.
Did you take a gander at them bbq sauce links I posted or the free chili pepper magazine trial?
If thats the case you better be a woman......sissyboy!
lol....I think that ol bastage could kik a fart outa you, desk setter.
hahahaha is that before or after you kick his azz in the motor home, at the race, down by the river?
hahahaha
I think that day came and went, about forty freakin years ago....jmho, hillbilly.
No prolamo....
I love it...one of my favorites.....
You live in Texas for cryin out loud, ever hear of a Pick-Up Truck or a Cow?
WHAT....3 SACKS.....what kinda of a gardner gets their shit out of a sack...wth?
Hey vato....weren't you and philbilly having a discussion about this?
Chiltepín
A sperical wild chile varying from 1/4 inch to 1/2 inch in diameter. Extremely hot. Also spelled tepín, chiltepe and chiltipín. Also called chilpaya. They are pickled when fresh or added to soups and stews. Dried, they are a year-round spice.
Chiltepínero
A person who collects the wild chiltepíns or one who sells them.
BBQ Sauce Recipes
Texas BBQ Sauce
Ingredients
1 cup tomato ketchup
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp chili powder
1/8 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups water
3 stalks celery, chopped
3 bay leaves
1 clove garlic
2 Tbsp onion, chopped
4 Tbsp butter
4 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp paprika
dash black pepper
Combine all the ingredients and bring to a boil. Simmer about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and strain.
Note! The celery pieces that are strained out are excellent eating.
Remus's Kansas City Classic Sauce
Recipe By : Remus Powers Originator of the Diddy-Wa-Diddy Sauce contest
Ingredients
1/4 Teaspoon Allspice
1/4 Teaspoon Cinnamon
1/4 Teaspoon Mace
14 Teaspoons Black pepper
½ Teaspoon Curry powder, oriental
½ Teaspoon Chili powder
½ Teaspoon Paprika
1/4 Cup White vinegar
½ Teaspoon Hot pepper sauce
1 Cup Ketchup
1/3 Cup Dark molasses
Place all of the dry ingredients into a bowl. Add vinegar and stir. Add remaining ingredients and stir until mixture is thoroughly blended. This sauce may be served room temperature or heated.
Memphis Magic BBQ Sauce
Recipe By : Smoke and Spice by Cheryl and Bill Jamison
Ingredients
3 Tablespoons butter
1/4 Cup minced onion
1 Cup white vinegar
1 Cup tomato sauce
1/4 Cup worcestershire sauce
2 Teaspoons sugar
1 Teaspoon salt
½ Teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/8 Teaspoon cayenne
Dash tabasco sauce
The center of mid-South barbecue, Memphis offers a range of sauces that take the high middle ground between Eastern and Western styles. Like this version, they are often medium-bodied mixtures, moderate in sweet, heat, and everything else except taste.
In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onions and saute for 6 to 8 minutes, or until the onions begin to turn golden. Stir in the remaining ingredients, reduce the heat to low, and cook until the mixture thickens, approximately 20 minutes. Stir frequently.
Use the sauce warm. It keeps, refrigerated, for a couple of weeks.
Basic All-American Barbecue Sauce
Ingredients
4 Large onions -- chopped
3 Tablespoons vegetable oil -- for sauteing
1 28 Oz Can tomato puree
3 28 Oz Cans tomatoes -- with juice
2 1/2 Cups white vinegar
4 Tablespoons packed dark brown sugar
4 Tablespoons granulated sugar
2 Tablespoons salt
2 Tablespoons freshly cracked black pepper
2 Tablespoons paprika
2 Tablespoons chili powder
4 Tablespoons molasses
1 Cup orange juice
2 Tablespoons Liquid Barbecue Smoke
8 Tablespoons brown mustard -- Dijon-style
In a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan, saute the onion in the oil over medium-high heat until golden brown, about 7 to 10 minutes.
Add all the remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer uncovered at the lowest possible heat for 4 hours. (This long cooking removes as much acidity as possible from the tomatoes.)
Puree sauce in 2, 3, or more batches to prevent it from spilling out of your food processor or blender.
Will keep 2 weeks, covered, in the refrigerator.
Western North Carolina Barbecue Sauce
Ingredients
1 stick of butter
1 large onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 whole cloves
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ cup brown sugar
2/3 cup ketchup
1 cup water
salt and pepper
Melt butter in a saucepan; add the chopped onion, and minced garlic, until they just begin to brown. Add white wine vinegar, cinnamon, whole cloves, dry mustard, chili powder, brown sugar and ketchup. Stir, then add water and blend. Bring to a boil, lower heat to simmer, add salt and pepper to taste, and simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes.
Dreamland BBQ Sauce
Ingredients
1 can (28 oz.) tomato puree
1/3 cup yellow mustard
3 cups water
1 ½ cups cider vinegar
1/4 dark corn syrup
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 tablespoon paprika
2 teaspoons ground red pepper
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
In large saucepan, whisk together the tomato puree and mustard until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve warm.
Carolina Mustard Sauce
Ingredients
3/4 cup yellow mustard
3/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup sugar
1 ½ tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons salt
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 1/4 teaspoons ground black pepper
½ teaspoon Tabasco sauce
In a medium saucepan, combine ingredients, stirring to blend. Over low heat, simmer 30 minutes. Let stand at room temperature 1 hour before using.
Coca-Cola Barbeque Sauce
Ingredients
1 can (12 oz.) Classic Coke
1 ½ cups ketchup
1 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
hot pepper sauce to taste
In a medium saucepan, combine all ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, covered for 30-45 minutes or until sauce is thickened, stirring occasionally. Strain if desired. Season with hot pepper sauce.
Atomic Barbeque Sauce
Ingredients
1 onion, chopped
2 cups orange juice
4 cups catsup
½ cup fresh lime juice
1/ cup cider vinegar
¼ cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon black pepper
2 tablespoons dry mustard
2 tablespoon crushed red pepper
2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon chili powder
2 tablespoons tabasco
2 tablespoons tamarind paste, available at Indian and Asian groceries
2 tablespoons honey
2 ½ sticks butter
Add the onion and ½ cup of the juice to a blender and puree until smooth. Transfer to a medium-size saucepan. Add the remaining ingredients to the saucepan and bring to a boil. Simmer for 25 to 30 minutes. Set aside to cool. Sauce keeps two weeks in fridge.
ALL PURPOSE BARBECUE SAUCE
==========================
(Servings: 4)
Ingredients:
------------
1/4 c Salad oil
2 tb lsp Soy sauce
1/4 c Bourbon, sherry, or wine
1 tsp Garlic powder
1 Pepper, freshly ground
Instructions:
-------------
Combine all ingredients and pour over meat. Marinate in refrigerator.
Also use to baste meat as you cook it. Good on red meat, fish or
chicken.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
BARBECUE SAUCE - NORINE JUENGER - LENZBURG
==========================================
(Servings: 3)
Ingredients:
------------
16 oz Tomato Sauce
2 tblsp Brown Sugar
1/4 cup Vinegar
2 tblsp Worcestershire Sauce
1 tsp Salt
1 tblsp Paprika
1 tsp Dry mustard
1 tsp Chili Powder
2 tblsp Chopped Green Onion Tops
1/8 tsp Cayenne Pepper
Instructions:
-------------
Simmer 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve hot. Makes 2 1/2 cups.
***** While there was no indication, I would expect that this is best
with Pork, since the idea of 'BBQ' in that area was nearly always pork.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: arielle@taronga.com (Stephanie da Silva)
BARBECUE SAUCE
==============
Ingredients:
------------
2 cups tomato catsup
2 tblsp wine vinegar
2 tblsp soy sauce
1 tblsp brown sugar
dash of Tabasco sauce
Instructions:
-------------
Combine ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over moderate heat,
stirring constantly. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Serve hot
or cold.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
Source: "Taste of Home" Magazine but recipe from "Barbecuing and Sausage-
Making Secrets" book. Posted by: Debbie Carlson - Cooking Echo
BARBECUE SAUCE WITH MUSTARD
===========================
(Servings: 6)
Ingredients:
------------
1/2 cup Sugar
1/4 tsp Ground oregano
1/2 tsp Ground thyme
1 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Pepper
1/8 tsp Cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp Cornstarch
1/2 cup Vinegar
1 cup Molasses
1 cup Ketchup
1 cup Prepared mustard
2 tblsp Oil
Instructions:
-------------
Combine first seven ingredients in a small saucepan. Stir in enough
vinegar to make a paste. Combine molasses, ketchup, mustard, oil and
remaining vinegar; add to herb paste. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Remove from heat; cool completely. Pour
into a glass jar; cover tightly. Store refrigerated for up to 3 months.
Baste over chicken, turkey, ham or hot dogs.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: carrot@bear.stonemarche.org (Little red-headed girl)
BBQ SAUCE
=========
Ingredients:
------------
1 16 oz can of no-salt tomato sauce
1 4 oz can of sliced mushrooms (or a double handful of fresh)
2 tblsp honey
generous amount of chopped garlic
1 tsp chili powder
1 tblsp basil
1 tblsp oregano
at least a teaspoon of any other spice you like except black pepper
(it clashes with the chili powder)
Instructions:
-------------
Mix well and add to meat before you cook it. It also works really well
for baked chicken.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: mjdennis@brl.mil (Martha J. Dennison)
BBQ-SAUCE
=========
(Servings: 6)
Ingredients:
------------
1 cup Ketchup
1 6 oz can of tomato paste
1 1/2 cup Honey
1 1/2 tsp Olive oil
2 tsp Tabasco
1 tsp Cayenne pepper
1 tblsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tblsp Cocoa powder
1 tsp Juice of lemon
1/2 tblsp Soy Sauce
1/2 tsp Fresh black pepper
1 1/2 tblsp Curry powder
1 tblsp Paprika
2 cloves garlic crushed
Instructions:
-------------
Stir everything together and simmer for 20 minutes.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
CITRUS BARBECUE SAUCE
=====================
(Servings: 5)
Ingredients:
------------
1 Onion; Large, Finely Chopped
1 tblsp Ground Red Chiles
1/4 tsp Ground Red Pepper
1 Ancho Chile; seeded and finely chopped
1 tblsp Vegetable Oil
1 cup Orange Juice
1/2 cup Lime Juice
2 tblsp Sugar
2 tblsp Lemon Juice
1 tblsp Fresh Cilantro; Snipped
1 tsp Salt
Instructions:
-------------
Cook onion, ground red chiles, red pepper and ancho chile in oil,
stirring frequently, until onion is tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in
remaining ingredients. Heat to boiling, reduce heat to low. Simmer
uncovered, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Makes about 2 1/3
cups of sauce.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: arielle@taronga.com (Stephanie da Silva)
DIPPING SAUCE FOR BBQ CHICKEN
=============================
Ingredients:
------------
1/2 tsp dried chili flakes or cayenne
2 cloves garlic, coarsely chopped
1 tblsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup chinese red rice vinegar
a thinly sliced green onion
1 tblsp coarsely chopped cilantro leaves
Instructions:
-------------
Pound first 4 ingredients to a paste with mortar and pestle, then
dissolve in vinegar. Alternatively, put it all in a blender and blend
until smooth. Float the green onions and cilantro on top.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
Source: The Home Book of Barbecue Cooking. Fawcett Publications, 1963.
MY BARBEQUE SAUCE
=================
(Servings: 1)
Ingredients:
------------
1/2 cup Oil (Canola)
1/3 cup Vinegar (Apple Cider)
1/2 cup Ketchup
1/2 cup Fruit juices
1/4 cup Onion
1 ea Hot pepper
1/4 tsp Oregeno
2 ea Garlic cloves
Instructions:
-------------
Combine all ingredients except oil in blender. Blend until smooth.
Place blended ingredients and oil in saucepan. Boil for 7 to eight
minutes.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
ORANGE BARBEQUE SAUCE
=====================
(Servings: 12)
Ingredients:
------------
6 oz Chili sauce
1/4 c Orange juice
1/4 c Soy sauce
1/4 c Molasses
2 tblsp Vinegar, chinese black
2 tblsp Onion, grated
1/2 tsp Ginger, grated
2 tsp Sauce, hot pepper
Instructions:
-------------
Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan. Stir to blend then bring
to a boil and let it cool. Makes about 1 1/4 cups. Will keep for a
brief period if refrigerated. Serve with Barbequed Ribs, roast chicken
or beef.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: steven.frank%acc1bbs@ssr.com (Steven Frank)
Source: Sylvia's Soul Food--Recipes from Harlem's World Famous Restaurant
Asbury Park Press 2/3/93 Shared By: Pat Stockett
SYLVIA'S WORLD-FAMOUS BARBEQUE SAUCE
====================================
(Servings: 5)
Ingredients:
------------
16 ounces Red Devil Hot Sauce
2 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 small onion, sliced
1 small stalk celery, sliced
3 cups tomato puree
1 1/2 cups water
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 lemon, sliced
Instructions:
-------------
Combine all the ingredients in a heavy pot and heat till just hot. Don't
bring to a boil or the sauce will turn dark and become thin. Cool the sauce
to room temperature, strain it and store it in a tightly covered jar in the
refrigerator. Makes 5 cups.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
ouch.....
There are many recipes for making barbeque sauces. Some are quick and simple - combining the primary flavors into a simple sauce or dipping and basting. Other recipes take a lot of time and produce a complex layering of flavors. Although the flavors may be complex, it's not necessary for the procedure to be complex. For example, this slow simmered recipe of mine is easy to throw together, requiring only the two or three hours to reduce the sauce to the desired thickness.
Start with 1/8 cup light brown sugar, 1/2 cup ketchup, 1 Tbs. mild molasses, 3/8 cup distilled white vinegar, 1/2 medium onion, chopped, 1/2 Tbs. chili powder, 1/2 Tbs. paprika, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. ground black pepper, 14 oz. can whole tomatoes, and 2 large garlic cloves, minced.
Heat two tablespoons of oil and add chopped onion and minced garlic. Cook until tender.
Putting the canned tomatoes aside, whisk the ingredients together and pour into the saucepan. Add the tomatoes with the juice in the can. Optionally, you can add 1/8 cup orange juice (or my favorite, pineapple juice) at this point. Stir over high heat until ingredients are integrated and begins to boil.
Reduce heat to low and allow to simmer uncovered. Simmer for two or more hours (stirring occassionally) until the sauce thickens to the desired level.
Although, the onions and tomatoes have probably disintegrated into the sauce, let the sauce cool a bit and pour into a bar blender for a quick puree.
This final barbecue sauce is rich and flavorful. I find that it start out with a sharp tangy flavor from the tomatoes followed by sweet molasses and punctuated with chili pepper spices at the end. Adding liquid smoke and other flavorings (or removing the spices) will tailor the sauce to your tastes.
Slow Simmered Spicy BBQ Sauce (makes about 16 oz.; recipe can be doubled)
2 Tbs. oil cook until tender combine and bring to boil simmer until reduced puree
2 large garlic cloves, minced
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1/2 cup ketchup whisk
3/8 cup distilled white vinegar
1/8 cup light brown sugar
1 Tbs. mild molasses
1/2 Tbs. chili powder
1/2 Tbs. paprika
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground black pepper
14 oz. can whole tomatoes
gag...rats
Last I knew you only had one new one, now two huh?
That old bastage has been in bed for hours....I think he ran out of geritol.
Famous SHACK barbeque sauce recipe (Little Rock, Arkansas): - BBQ, tasty, tangy, and unforgettable.
SHACK barbeque sauce goes well as a marinate, sauce on any meat. The secret barbeque (BBQ) sauce recipe was given to me by a long time employee , over 5,800 printed copies were mailed to 38 states and 14 foreign countries after I mentioned it on the radio, and since the Internet it has gone virtually everywhere.
It is somewhat 'hot', adjustable to suite your tastes, but initially stick to the recipe', even though it APPEARS to be excessive (pepper for instance). The amounts reflect the size most ingredients come in at the grocery store. As it stands it makes about a gallon or more. I see no reason it would not survive reducing, but I have always used as gifts, and have never attempted cutting it down.
Over the years, the feedback has been overwhelming, and the whole, growing, tale and experience connected with this delightful stuff fascinates me. After you brew your batch, and have passed it out, served it, and gotten "hooked', drop me an E-mail as I collect the stories.
By the way, there is no 'hook', scam, follow-up, sales pitch, or other underhanded motive here, other than my toying with the idea of writing a book about the convoluted meanderings and travels of this exquisite juice. I was in broadcasting for over 30 years, originated and participated in countless 'promotions' and gimmicks...the SHACK sauce saga turned out bigger than all of them, and it was never connected to any deal in any way. (So much for skilled promotion managers
So, GO, now into the kitchen, and make history. If you are so inclined, you have my permission to outright LIE and claim the sauce is your own concoction, but this might have the effect of splintering the and obscuring the history and adventures I'm collecting.
Enjoy!
dp
Wet Stuff
Mix in a large bowl:
3 - 24 ounce bottle of ketchup (catsup)
Use the plastic ones, we will refill after making sauce.
Fill with hot water, swoosh around and dump contents into bowl.
Folks have asked: HOW MUCH WATER? Fill all three bottles, and dump all into 'Wet Stuff'
(For original recipe use Grapette from Wal Mart- see 'additional notes').
Pour in plain ole cheap vinegar. "THE" recipe calls for just less than a quart, do not sweat this. use anywhere from a pint to a quart, strangely, this amount has scant effect on final product.
Put "wet stuff' in a LARGE pan, put heat on "high"
by the time it is approaching a boil, you will have "dry stuff' prepared.
Dry Stuff:
Since you dumped wet stuff out of bowl, why not use for 'dry'?
Into bowl, dump:
1 - 4 ounce can of chili powder
1 - 4 ounce can of black pepper
1 - 4 ounce can of garlic salt (SALT, NOT garlic powder!!!)
1/2 cup - sugar (is the ORIGINAL amount, why not TRY that, and adjust to your very own taste after 'brewing' mess up...likewise with Tabasco. See below)
1 - small Tabasco (anywhere from 1 to 4 ounces..start with about 1 oz...you can 'play' to taste after whole mess is completed.
1 - small mustard (size of an apple, just regular ole smear on a hotdog yeller mustard)
Stir
...btw, easier to put the mustard in last, and just swirl around till it looks like chocolaty brown tar.
Simmer
Dump all this stuff into pan on stove now approaching a simmer if you have been quick, and if you rinsed out the catsup with HOT water
stir enough to make it evenly liquid...bring to a boil and immediately lower heat to a simmer.
30 minutes, (stir fairly often to avoid sticking).. during which the vinegar will bring sweat to your forehead, and tears to your eyes...think ventilation here.
Finish
That is it.
Remove from heat, pour back into bottles you saved, unfortunately, you will have an excess of sauce. Improvise, all life has dry rot.
You now have a LOT of sauce. I always do, and find it MOST welcome as a gift.
BTW, there is no need to refrigerate your sauce supply, even if you inhabit hot and humid southern climes! Apparently mischievous microbes refrain from causing problems in gratitude for being immersed in this tomato based necter, or are immobilized by the ingredients rendering them deliciously inert.
Additional Notes
Do it this way the first time, later, you may substitute Grapette, for the water (seriously) SHACK DID for several decades ... for total authenticity you can obtain Grapette from Wal Mart
I add about a cup of sugar to my sauce, but this is heresy, and practice has strong adherents and detractors.
Likewise minced onions, NOT authentic, but can be pleasant.
Do NOT futz with the amount of black pepper. I KNOW it sounds like a lot. Trust me on this.
Also remember garlic SALT, not garlic powder!! several folks got this wrong, actually the sauce wasn't bad, but they were not fit as shipmates for WEEKS.
Do NOT judge 'heat', as in taste, by sipping off spoon from pot, even if you were stingy with the Tabasco. Dunk a piece of bread into sauce and sample that way.
http://www.ibdjohn.com/shack/
Yup....wth are you doing up so late?
They just don't do much for me....
Just don't you worry about it, tard!
I sent for the free copy, gota be worth checkin out...
I signed you up for next year...
Jalape-oh-no!
By Gwyneth Doland
Editor's Note: The Content Management System program used to build this article does not properly translate the tilde over the "n" in Jalapeno, so it has been omitted. Believe me, Gwyneth knows how to spell this pepper. Photo above by Harald Zoschke. Photos below by Gwyneth. --Dave DeWitt
On the Saturday before Labor Day I drove out to Sky City Casino at Acoma Pueblo for the 2006 World Championship Jalapeno Competition, an event attended by about 100 people, but nevertheless officially sanctioned by the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE). It was the most awe-inspiring, uvula-tickling, gut-churning spectacle I have ever witnessed in what I must say is a long personal history of watching people eat. There were moments when I could only peek through cracks in the fingers I had clenched over my eyes, and there were moments when my lunch only stayed down because of the fingers clenched over my mouth.
Fewer than half of the competitors were New Mexicans, including a woman from Acoma Pueblo and a dealer from the casino; the rest were "pros," regular competitive eaters who had honed their gut-stuffing skills over years of IFOCE competitions like the annual Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island.
The Contestants Dig In
According to Matt Rizzetta of the IFOCE, searingly hot and outrageously acidic pickled jalapenos present one of the most difficult challenges in competitive eating. "Jalapeno is one of the most prestigious competitions," Rizzetta says, explaining why so many pros showed up at Acoma Pueblo. "There are a few things that pros take into consideration when choosing a contest, one is location and the other is prestige."
Shortly after 4 p.m., wearing official Sky City Sabor Caliente aprons, pros and locals all gathered in the casino parking lot, lined up behind a long row of folding tables and armed with nothing more than their appetites. As the crowd counted down from 10, these so-called "gurgitators" sized up the plates of pickled jalapenos laid out before them. Friends and family yelled encouragements to some of the local hopefuls, who looked alternately nervous and gigglingly game. The pros had their game faces on. They were focused, intense, pale and sweaty.
Once the contest had commenced it became clear what separated the amateurs from the pros. The amateurs were actually eating the jalapenos, taking bites and chewing thoroughly, while the pros just inhaled. They stuffed and stuffed and stuffed their faces full like chipmunks, pausing only to wash down the chile mash with their chosen beverages: water, Gatorade, iced tea, Diet Coke and…chocolate milk.
The chocolate milk was chugged by mohawked 20-year-old Pat Bertoletti, a relative newcomer to the sport who had never competed with jalapenos before, but who does hold records in Key lime pie (almost 11 pounds of pie in 8 minutes) and corned beef and cabbage (nearly 6 pounds in 10 minutes). The fourth-ranked competitive eater in the world, Bertoletti was a favorite to win at Acoma.
After a few minutes, all of the eaters started to show signs of wear. They began to take deep breaths. A few decided to stand, rather than sit, perhaps to allow for more expansion in their bellies. Their faces took on pained looks. Bertoletti, who rocked out with his iPod on throughout the contest, looked only slightly bothered, as though he couldn't quite decide whether to have Cherry Garcia or Chunky Monkey for dessert later.
Halfway through the contest it got pretty rough. Sweat ran down the chile-eaters' brows and dripped into their eyes, mingled their with tears and spilled onto their cheeks before joining the flow of snot running from their noses right into their mouths. Suddenly, Erik the Red, a 20-something professional eater from Seattle, stood up. His eyes were pressed tightly shut and beads of perspiration making his skin glisten like the sides of a soda can on a hot day. His cheeks were packed full, stretched taut like two water balloons about to burst and as he clasped his hand over his mouth, so did I. The juice of dozens of pickled jalapenos began to seep from the cracks between his fingers. "Noooooooo!" the crowd yelled.
Erik the Red holds back a "reversal of fortune"
while Pat Bertoletti washes down a mouthful
of jalapenos with chocolate milk.
Carlene LeFevre, the wife of jalapeno competitor Rich "The Locust" LeFevre, shouted words of encouragement to Erik, along with Pat and her husband. Carlene is a competetive eater herself, having won Sky City's posole eating contest in 2004 (she put down 109.75 ounces in 12 minutes). Rich, a 60-year-old retired CPA, had his face level with his plate and was using both hands to cram jalapenos in his mouth. Ranked 8th in the world, "The Locust" holds records for SPAM (6 pounds in 12 minutes), birthday cake (5 pounds in 11 minutes 26 seconds), and huevos rancheros (nearly 8 pounds in 10 minutes).
As LeFevre feverishly shoveled, Erik The Red's crisis seemed to pass. He had narrowly avoiding what the IFOCE affectionately terms a "reversal of fortune." As the 15 minute mark drew near, several contestants came dangerously close to reversal.
When time was up, it was too close to call between Bertoletti and LeFevre. The contestants all lingered, looking pained and ill as they wiped their faces and awaited the results. When "Jalapeno" Jed Donahue darted away from the table, we weren't sure where he was going—until we all heard a really, really loud splash hitting asphalt. The crowd collectively groaned, and when Donahue returned to the table there was some confusion about whether or not he would be disqualified.
In the end it was determined that Pat Bertoletti had put down 177 pickled jalapenos, a feat rewarded with the $1,000 grand prize. Rich LeFevre came in second, having shoveled in a total of 155. Even though he chucked much of what he'd eaten, "Jalapeno" Jed still won third prize for eating 144. Erik The Red, who did manage to keep it all in, took fourth after eating 107, and "Buffalo" Jim Reeves took home fifth place and $150 for eating 74 pickled jalapenos in 15 minutes.
All I could think was, "You couldn't pay me $150 bucks. . . "
http://www.fiery-foods.com/dave2/jalapeno.asp