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Marvin, I'm with you. Let's hope our votes count! <g> AK
Thanks Finn. Always helps to have a source to be able to verify info. AK
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Believe in her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked.
Bring food.
Do you have a link or other source for that? Thanks. AK
Koi, ending the discussion may be expedient, but there is a hidden hazard there. Sometimes the child, from their perspective, will learn to keep their mouth shut and then never share what's on their mind. Parenting is such a tough job, isn't it? AK
CNBC alert re Estrogen study. Scott Hensley, The Wall Street Journal Pharmaceutical Reporter, to be on CNBC within the hour. Could be meaningful for Wyeth; NOVN
Matt, I know they don't ring a bell when the market hits a bottom, but do you have some type of audio alert when something is added to the Mailbox?
LG, adding to what you have said, Bob Z. has also said that there is a limited number of those $80 lifetime subscriptions, and that the offer for those will not remain open indefinitely. AK (p.s. Did I get some kind of grub?)
Maybe I should offer to mirror for him.
Bob, you mean you eat KKD by the dozen too? Or is that some kind of software geek talk? <g>
======================
On more serious (ahh) matters, each time I go to my Mailbox, I have to refresh to see the messages that came in today, even though I've looked at them before. I think there are still glitches in the system <ng> AK
Guess this is pick on Poet day <g>. Saw the following post on SI, and you came to mind. <vbg> AK
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Studying world religions, a teacher required her students to
bring in something related to their family's faith for show and tell.
The first child said, "I am Muslim. This is my prayer rug."
The second child said, "I am Jewish. This is my Star of David."
The third child said, "I am Catholic. This is my rosary."
The fourth child said, "I am Southern Baptist. This is my casserole dish."
Poet, I think you use Windows 98. If I take my Windows 98 CD and play it in my car stereo, will it cause my car to crash?
Thanks. AK
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(Lifted from Barney on SI--thanks Barney<g)
Poet, are you free-lancing for CNN?
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Wall St. has tumbled to five-year lows during a nervous start to the U.S. trading week, but fears of a "Black Monday" style meltdown did not eventuate.
http://asia.cnn.com/2002/BUSINESS/asia/07/22/wallst.monday/index.html
Bob, you know you can give Matt a "hug" by FedEx'ing him a couple dozen KKD. BTW, I went to the System Admin. Day website, and got the following message:
==============================
Temporarily Unavailable
The Tripod page you are trying to reach has exceeded its hourly bandwidth limit. The site will be available again in 2 hours!
Thank you!
================================
Maybe it will work for you <g: http://www.sysadminday.com/
Let's hear it for Matt and Bob!
http://news.com.com/2100-1023-945573.html?tag=fd_top
Give a geek a hug
By Lisa M. Bowman
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
July 22, 2002, 3:00 PM PT
If you're like most people, when your computer crashes you groan, issue a string of expletives, and then wait idly by until your trusty information technology person rescues you from blue screen hell.
On Friday, it's time for you to show your appreciation for those geeks in shining armor.
Ted Kekatos has created System Administrator Appreciation Day, a time to honor the people who neither rain, nor snow, nor bizarre "illegal operation" errors can keep from fixing your machine.
Kekatos, a droll system administrator in Chicago, was inspired to create the special day by a Hewlett-Packard ad he saw a few years ago. In the ad, a system administrator is bombarded with presents from employees as thanks for installing new printers.
"I tore that ad out and showed it to some of my co-workers and said, 'Look at what this guy's getting. Where's mine?'" Kekatos joked.
The event, now in its third year, is designed to pay tribute to anyone in information technology. "Let's face it, system administrators get no respect 364 days a year," Kekatos wrote in an e-mail urging people to celebrate.
All Kekatos is really hoping for this year is a simple "thanks"--and maybe some cake and ice cream. Last year, his co-workers bought him lunch.
But he's put together a geeky wish list for nerds everywhere, just in case. Inspired by e-mails from fellow system administrators, the list contains gifts ranging from a case of iced mocha cappuccino to dream rewards like a handheld GPS unit or a home theater system.
"I put some stuff on there that I would like," he said. "You can always dream."
Kekatos' site also gives some tongue-in-cheek tips for maintaining your administrators' spirits on a year-round basis, including "When Ted says he coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for him to remember your password" and "if you get a .EXE file in a e-mail attachment, open it immediately. Ted likes to make sure the antivirus software is working properly from time to time."
Kekatos hopes System Administrator Appreciation Day will become a bigger holiday along the lines of Secretary's Day, and he's even considering sending a little reminder to the CEO at his own company.
LG, did you see Bob's note about having to re-set your Auto-Refresh because of work he did yesterday? AK
Maybe our messages crossed. Seems to be working now. AK
Bob,
Same thing Augie is complaining about just happened to me (after you thought you had things fixed). AK
I think this has been going on a while...see post 6422 by LG on Zeev's thread.
In other words, the last post doesn't show up. Didn't you have a similar problem over the weekend? AK
That's not the problem. Even if the favorites shows a new post, you can't see that post on the board unless you manually refresh. Just had that problem here. AK
Don't tell Augieboo <g.
And just how much does your grandmother know about trading?
"name" can be used as an alias?
Posted by: name
In reply to: Zeev Hed who wrote msg# 6071 Date:7/22/2002 9:04:44 AM
Post #of 6103
I'm probably asking the obvious, but in profile there is a box for search member's posts. What is the convention to use this box, and might that be stated either underneath or following "Search Member's Posts"? Thanks. AK
So who pays for Matt's donuts? <g> AK
Poet, being the cook you are, for my edification would you please answer the question raised here? Thanks. AK
====================================
George W. said to an aide. "I gotta see what all this Jewish stuff is about." So off they went to a kosher restaurant. The first course was set in front of them: Matzo ball soup.
George W. was grossed out and hesitant to taste this strange looking brew.
Gently, the aide said, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."
George W. dug in, spooning up a small piece of matzo ball with some soup, and quickly finishing it off the entire bowl and all of the matzo ball.
"That was delicious," George W. said.
"Do they eat any other parts of the Matzo, or just the balls?
Poet, I see you are in a place where it can get mighty cold during the winter. I just came across an e-mail I received in January from a correspondent of mine in Minnesota, and thought you might enjoy this:
True story...What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?.......we had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that 6 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard.
Bob, were you looking for reports on glitches? I"VE BEEN (wowee, here's one right here--I used an apostrophe, but what showed are quote marks, then the text became capitalized).
I've been (this time it's fine--weird) looking through People Favorites posts, but after looking at them, the counter does not reset.
FWIW,
AK
Leftovers? Did your guests not like your cooking? Or do you cook like a "Jewish" mother, where leftovers are the intention. (This is for three reasons: 1) Nobody should leave the table hungry; 2) How else can you push your guests to over-eat; "Vhat, you don't like the brisket?" because you only had two servings; and, 3) This way you don't have to cook the rest of the week.
Have you heard of freezer-paks? I'll help you out on the leftovers, but hold the pork please. (Guess I'm like you at the liquor store; I'll eat bacon and ham though <g.)
Famous Insult:
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874 - 1965), British Prime Minister and Statesman, was sent an invitation to George Bernard Shaw's new play, St.Joan (1923), which read, "Bring a friend if you have one."
Churchill replied "I cannot come. Would it be possible for you to let me have tickets for the second night if there is one."
Blind Psychic "at work". Koikaze, here's a link to a of the blind psychic doing his thing, gasp!
http://search.news.yahoo.com/search/news?c=news_photos&p=blind+psychic
If your heart can handle it, click on the thumbnail to enlarge the image. Warning: this is a reading of a zoftig tushie (g).
AK
Blind Psychic. Koikaze, here is the article:
Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future
Tue Jul 9,11:55 AM ET
By Nick Tattersall
BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.
Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.
"The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."
By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.
He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.
"I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."
Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.
He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed.
"All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.
Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.
"An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."
He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.
"I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.
Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.
"No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.
3 Religious Truths. Alexed, here's an old one; I'm sure you've seen it before (g). AK
=================================
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
Thanks Alexed. Now if we could just get Poet to write some too! BTW, for "jaw dropper" were you referring to the shoe story, or another one? AK
Aquarius, you may find more helpful information by going to the SEC's Home Page, http://www.sec.gov/index.htm I hope others will proffer opinions to the several questions you've asked.
You may find this speech from yesterday, by Harvey Pitt, Chairman of the SEC, somewhat responsive to the questions you raise. It's a bit lengthy, so I'll post the link:
http://www.sec.gov/news/speech/spch577.htm
Hope this is helpful to you. AK
Zeev, regarding "the profit is fair" may or may not be true. What if, perchance, profits had been allocated her way? I'm not suggesting this as fact, but merely raising the speculation that your statement may not be as factual as appears at first blush. AK
Hi BoP, I went to your board to check out a couple hundred thousand of those taglines (I don't think I could do the 1/2 mil. in one sitting) and I couldn't find 'em. Not even a single solitary (oops, redundancy and repetitiveness again, and again) one!
You funnin' us a'gin? C'mon, put up or ...
AK
Note to Poet and thread members:
I posted the following story on the Joke thread earlier, but it's dawned on me Poet's Corner is probably a better place for my shaggy dog stuff, because at least here I'll get feedback. Heck, what good is a story if you can't hear from your audience? To that end, I've already posted a few of the finest(?) from my limited collection over there, so anybody else reading this, get over to the Jokes thread and look for them or I'll have to bring 'em over here <g>. I understand the link to the Jack Schitt story is no longer active, so you are SOL <g> on that one if you missed it.
I'm a city boy myself, but I'm sure there are some people here who have experienced country life. So with that background info, maybe someone can tell me how true this story is? Enjoy.
================================
Animal Husbandry
A farmer had five female pigs and, as times were hard, he had determined to take them to the county fair and sell them. While at the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles away from one another and so they agreed to drive thirty miles and find a field in which to mate their pigs. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 am., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle they had, and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass grazing in the morning, then they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, then they're not." The next morning they were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them again into the family station wagon and proceeded to try again.
The following morning, MUD again!!! This continued all week until one morning the farmer was so tired that he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me if the pigs are in the mud or in the field."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn!"
Animal Husbandry
A farmer had five female pigs and, as times were hard, he had determined to take them to the county fair and sell them. While at the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles away from one another and so they agreed to drive thirty miles and find a field in which to mate their pigs. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 am., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle they had, and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass grazing in the morning, then they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, then they're not." The next morning they were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them again into the family station wagon and proceeded to try again.
The following morning, MUD again!!! This continued all week until one morning the farmer was so tired that he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me if the pigs are in the mud or in the field."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn!"