Physicians' Opinions of Financial Bail Out Package:

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington

THAT REALLY SHOWS YOU THE SHEAR STUPIDITY ...

Wow, what a cutting statement.......

Oops, I didn't know we were on air...

Whatever you think of Palin, file this video under "life's embarassing moments".......

This is why Matt left Florida?
============================

State moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles
Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:03pm EDT

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.

Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.

The Florida Senate voted last week to add the measure to a broader transportation bill, but it is not included in the House version.

In a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senate lawmakers questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories.

Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested.

The bill's sponsor doubted it would succeed.

"It's probably not going to make it through the process," Baker said on Thursday. "It won't be much of story in a few days."

True, but L.U.S.T. is such a great acronym, especially from government.

A Federal tax on LUST?

The SEC held a meeting in a prison?

New element discovered...

Research has led to the discovery of a new element ... the heaviest element yet known to science.

This new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant Neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Client #9 videos

#board-2776

Client #9

Love Client #9

Were you wearing your special T-Shirt?

Uhh, who's wearing this?

Get ready for the re-make...

Nicely done 1960's memories...good sound tracks and facts and figures...

Copy and paste into your browser...

http://cruzintheavenue.com/TakeMeBackToTheSixties.htm

FEMA to move families out of trailers with formaldehyde

By Michael Kunselman, The Associated Press
Article Last Updated: 02/14/2008

Down to 16. Who dropped out?

Today's morning news is reporting that over 9 million travelers are currently stranded in China due to the fowl weather.

With bird flu a problem there, does that mean an ill wind blows no good?

No rhyme this time?

Shouldn't that go on a politics board?

That makes you a groovy provocateur?

That won't give you immunity from prickly posts, and please refrain from cuspidate remarks.

You needling too?

But you still aciculate well.

Still with the cutting comments?

OMG. DDF is Britney Spears.

Sorry. As you were.

Every body having fun? It's nice to see different opinions, as opposed to the conformity of some politics boards, but we don't need to personalize the comments do we?

The bank, eh?

Tough street-racing law nabs 85-year-old
Fri Jan 4, 2008

TORONTO (Reuters) - A new law meant to help crack down on young Canadian street racers in their souped up cars has nabbed an octogenarian in his Oldsmobile.

The 85-year-old man is one of 2,300 drivers across Ontario to be charged under new legislation, designed to combat "street racing, stunts and contests", since it came into effect three months ago -- and he's the oldest.

The man was pulled over after allegedly driving 161 kilometers per hour (100 mph) this week on a main highway north of Toronto, where the speed limit is 100 km/h, Ontario Provincial Police said.

"It really doesn't matter the age of the person or whether they're trying to race another car," OPP Sgt. Cam Woolley said on Friday. "The consequences of the crashes and the laws of physics are always in effect."

Under the street racing legislation, a person is charged if they are driving 50 km/h more than the posted speed limit.

"Street racing was probably a bad title for it, extreme driving probably would have been better," Woolley noted.

Under the legislation, the 85-year-old could face a minimum C$2,000 ($2,000) fine. His license has been suspended and his car impounded for a week.

Woolley said that, in the case of the 85-year-old, a police officer driving in a marked car saw the Oldsmobile and tried to get the driver's attention, honking her horn and waving.

"He flew past her," said Woolley, adding he was going about 140 km/h at the time -- and then speeded up.

When he finally stopped, the man told the officer he was going to the bank and planned to go shopping, Woolley said.

"When she informed him that his car was being impounded for a week, he said: 'God damn, you're not taking my car, are ya?'" Woolley said, adding the man later apologized for swearing, and the officer drove him to the bank.

Until this week, two 75-year-old men were the oldest to be charged under the law. The youngest is a 16-year-old woman. Most are men in their 20s.

(Editing by Rob Wilson)

Fascinating. 17 boardmarks. Happy New Year!

He can't. He knows he'll have to sit in the corner.

And dropping fast.

I'll tell my son to cancel his Volvo order, and give him back the zillions of his Legos I've stored in the garage. Thanks!

One size doesn't fit all, condom maker claims
Associated Press
LA Daily News
Article Last Updated:10/12/2007 12:28:08 AM PDT

SEOGWIPO, South Korea - As the world's top condom experts convene this week to update international standards, one American entrepreneur has a simple message: Size matters.

It's shaking up an industry that has generally taken a one-size-fits-all approach.

Frank Sadlo, founder of TheyFit, which makes what he claims are the world's first custom-fit condoms, is pushing for updated standards to allow greater variation in condom size.

It's not just about well-endowed men in cramped prophylactic quarters, Sadlo said Thursday at a meeting of delegates from 21 countries under the Geneva-based International Organization for Standardization.

When given a choice, he said many men prefer condoms smaller than the standard minimum 6.3 inches long, with more than half ordering those less than 5.12 inches.

At the session in Seogwipo on South Korea's Jeju Island, more than 100 delegates - representatives of leading manufacturers, government-standards bodies and aid groups - pored over 42 pages of specifications and testing requirements for condoms.

Standards are especially crucial. Failure could mean the spread of potentially deadly diseases or unwanted pregnancy.

"Our job is to do away with inferior condoms," said Eng Long Ong, meeting chairman and deputy head of the Malaysian Rubber Export Promotion Council, which estimates 13 billion to 14 billion condoms are made each year.

Getting quality condoms can be especially difficult in places such as Africa, where they are a major part of AIDS-prevention campaigns.

Ian Matondo, an adviser to the Malawi Health Ministry, said the issue of condoms breaking in Africa had nothing to do with the size of men's penises but was due to poor manufacturing.

The standard for testing condom strength is to fill it with air, a technique pioneered by the Swedes in the 1950s. Condoms of the standard length and width must hold at least 4.76 gallons of air, far more than they would ever be expected to contain under normal use.

Varying condom size would require standards and test equipment to change and is expected to require a year for approval, Sadlo said.

The length issue is just one of many being debated at the five-day meeting, the 24th such session since 1975, where delegates were creating new standards for synthetic and female condoms.

Don't let MMMARY see the part about squirrel fur in the dung.

Perturbing you is not something I plan to do, but the stork reality is it could occur rapidly.

Perturbing can get you preggers?

Susie's perfect, but she isn't a wopman; she's a wopwoman.

If a 5-foot Pole will do, I know one.

Oopsie...anybody from South Carolina?