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Vex,
Jefferson's quote is so true. Here's a couple more along the same vein.
The contest for ages has been to rescue liberty from the grasp of executive power. ~Daniel Webster
I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations. ~James Madison, speech, Virginia Convention, 1788
Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. ~Woodrow Wilson
There's a fellow who is an avid golfer. Actually he's a golf fanatic. Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up very early and golf's all day long.
Well, this one Saturday morning, he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet, and goes out to his car to drive to the course. It is raining a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 mph.
He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. From there he finds that it's supposed to be bad weather all day long. So he puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."
She replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing?"
The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! ~Edward Payson Powell
We meet today
To thank Thee for the era done,
And Thee for the opening one.
~John Greenleaf Whittier
What The New Year Holds
====================
So what will the New Year hold?
What mysteries will this year unfold?
Will it be joy and endless peace?
Or will it wreak havoc and terror unleash?
I will reveal and let you see,
There's absolutely no doubt what will be.
So listen my friends as I make it clear,
What you can expect during the coming year.
There will be peace and joy all about,
There will be reasons for a hallelujah shout.
There will be abundance on every hand,
Sufficiency in all for woman and man.
There will be much strife and fear that chills.
There will be terrors untold and the thing that kills.
There will be missed love and hearts will be void.
There will be lack and want and dreams destroyed.
Both righteousness and sin will roam the land,
Faithfulness and betrayal you understand.
Husbands and wives will love and smile.
Husbands and wives will go to trial.
Children will make their parents proud.
Children will follow the wrong crowd.
Leaders will rise above the call.
Leaders will stumble, and then they'll fall.
The world will have its trouble and pain.
Some will think that it's gone insane.
Yet beauty and majesty will still somehow rise,
It will climb from the depths to claim the prize.
All of these things I promise will be.
It's a proven fact of history.
It will be this year as it has in the past.
The best and the worst but none of it lasts.
So don't be concerned what tomorrow will bring.
Or this year or that or summer or spring.
Life is not really made of years.
It's made of seconds and smiles and tears.
Find joy right now instead of sorrow.
Live today well, stop worrying about tomorrow.
It will be this year as it's always been.
For the kingdom of heaven is still within.
~A MountainWings Original~
http://www.mountainwings.com/
A minister concluded that his church was getting into
serious financial troubles.
Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church
storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles
that had never been opened and distributed. So at his
Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles
door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed
money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer
for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned
their living as salesmen and were likely capable of
selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie.
Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always
tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by
his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very
badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the
reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their
cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him
and report the results of their door-to-door selling
efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend
immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make
out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied,
"Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20
bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the
church."
"Fine job, Peter!" The reverend said, vigorously shaking
his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church
is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did
you manage to sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently
replied,"Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was
happy to give the church the benefit of my sales
expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the
church, and here's $280 I collected."
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul.
You are truly a professional salesman and the church is
also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and
said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last
week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The
reverend opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in
here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the
church, door to door, in just one week?
Louie just nodded.
That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison.
"We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold
10 times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I
think you'd better explain how you managed to do
accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't
kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud,
Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks
---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me
t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"
Have fun,
Phil
I "borrowed" this from "Phil (Bullrider)" at The Lounge / Coffee Shop / Bible (Bible)
#msg-2025667
Subject: ROE VS WADE
Bambi, the blonde in her fourth freshman year at UCLA, sat in her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi thought a moment, then answered, "that was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware."
LEARNIN'.....?
I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7
I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9
I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. Age 12
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14
I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15
I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24
I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there. Age 29
I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 30
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it. Age 42
I've learned that you can make someone's day by simply sending them a little note. Age 44
I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. Age 46
I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. Age 47
I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Age 48
I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. Age 50
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Age 51
I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills. Age 52
I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. Age 58
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.Age 65
I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Age 82
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 90
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92
Who'll Take the Son?
Heard the following during a local Christmas Eve candlelight service. The Pastor did
an awesome, updated rendition reflecting the current conflicts. Here's the original:
Who'll Take the Son?
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.
They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael.
They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.
When the Viet Nam conflict broke out, the son went to war.
He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier.
The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door.
A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said,"Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life.
He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me
to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.
He often talked about you, and your love for art."
The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much.
I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son
would have wanted you to have this."
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man.
He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the
personality of his son in the painting.
The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears.
He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.
"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me.
It's a gift."
The father hung the portrait over his mantle.
Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son
before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings.
Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing
the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son.
The auctioneer pounded his gavel.
"We will start the bidding with this picture of the son.
Who will bid for this picture?" There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted.
"We want to see the famous paintings.
Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted.
"Will someone bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"
Another voice shouted angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting.
We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids"
But still the auctioneer continued. "The son, The son, Who'll take the son?"
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room.
It was the long time gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting."
Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
"We have $10, who will bid $20?"
"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."
"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?" The crowd was becoming angry.
They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel.
"Going once, twice, SOLD for $10"
A man sitting on the second row shouted. "Now let's get on with the collection"
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."
"What about the paintings?"
"I am sorry. When I was called to
conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will.
I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time.
Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.
Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets every thing"
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on a cruel cross.
Much like the auctioneer, His message today is, "The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?"
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
~~ Author unknown ~~
The Filling Station
====================
The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve.
He hadn't been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away.
He had no decorations, no tree, no lights. It was just another
day to him. He didn't hate Christmas, just couldn't find a
reason to celebrate. There were no children in his life.
His wife had gone.
He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling
for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the
door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of
throwing the man out, George, Old George as he was known by
his customers, told the man to come and sit by the space
heater and warmup.
"Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger.
"I see you're busy. I'll just go"
"Not without something hot in your belly," George turned and
opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger.
"It ain't much, but it's hot and tasty. Stew. Made it myself.
When you're done there's coffee and it's fresh."
Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell.
"Excuse me, be right back," George said.
There in the driveway was an old 53 Chevy. Steam was rolling
out of the front. The driver was panicked.
"Mister can you help me!" said the driver with a deep Spanish
accent. "My wife is with child and my car is broken."
George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked
from the cold; the car was dead. "You ain't going in this
thing," George said as he turned away.
"But mister. Please help...."The door of the office closed
behind George as he went in. George went to the office wall
and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside.
He walked around the building and opened the garage, started the
truck and drove it around to where the couple was waiting.
"Here, you can borrow my truck," he said. "She ain't the best
thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good."
George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it
sped off into the night. George turned and walked back inside
the office.
"Glad I loaned em the truck. Their tires were shot too.
That 'ol truck has brand new tires........" George thought he
was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone. The thermos
was on the desk, empty with a used coffee cup beside it.
"Well, at least he got something in his belly," George thought.
George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start.
It cranked slowly, but it started. He pulled it into the garage
where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it
for something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers.
He discovered the block hadn't cracked, it was just the bottom
hose on the radiator.
"Well, I can fix this," he said to himself. So he put a new one
on. "Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter
either." He took the snow treads off of his wife's old Lincoln.
They were like new and he wasn't going to drive the car.
As he was working he heard a shot being fired. He ran outside
and beside a police car an officer lay on the cold ground.
Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, "Help me."
George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training
he had received in the Army as a medic. He knew the wound
needed attention.
"Pressure to stop the bleeding," he thought. The laundry
company had been there that morning and had left clean shop
towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound.
"Hey, they say duct tape can fix anythin'," he said, trying to
make the policeman feel at ease. "Something for pain," George
thought. All he had was the pills he used for his back. "These
ought to work." He put some water in a cup and gave the
policeman the pills.
"You hang in there. I'm going to get you an ambulance." George
said, but the phone was dead. "Maybe I can get one of your
buddies on that there talk box out in your police car."
He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the
dashboard destroying the two way radio. He went back in to find
the policeman sitting up.
"Thanks," said the officer. "You could have left me there.
The guy that shot me is still in the area."
George sat down beside him. "I would never leave an injured man
in the Army and I ain't gonna leave you." George pulled back the
bandage to check for bleeding. "Looks worse than what it is.
Bullet passed right through 'ya. Good thing it missed the
important stuff though. I think with time your gonna be right
as rain."
George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How do you take it?"
he asked.
"None for me," said the officer.
"Oh, yer gonna drink this. Best in the city." Then George
added: "Too bad I ain't got no donuts."
The officer laughed and winced at the same time. The front door
of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun.
"Give me all your cash! Do it now!" the young man yelled.
His hand was shaking and George could tell that he had never
done anything like this before.
"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.
"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George. "You need to put
the cannon away. Somebody else might get hurt."
The young man was confused. "Shut up old man, or I'll shoot
you, too. Now give me the cash!"
The cop was reaching for his gun.
"Put that thing away," George said to the cop. "We got one too
many in here now."
He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas
Eve. If you need the money, well then, here. It ain't much but
it's all I got. Now put that pee shooter away."
George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young
man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The
young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and
began to cry.
"I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy
something for my wife and son," he went on. "I've lost my job.
My rent is due. My car got repossessed last week..."
George handed the gun to the cop. "Son, we all get in a bit of
squeeze now and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we
make it through the best we can."
He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair
across from the cop. "Sometimes we do stupid things." George
handed the young man a cup of coffee. "Being stupid is one of
the things that makes us human. Comin' in here with a gun ain't
the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we'll sort this
thing out."
The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop.
"Sorry I shot you. It just went off. I'm sorry officer."
"Shut up and drink your coffee." the cop said.
George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car
and an ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the
door, guns drawn.
"Chuck! You ok?" one of the cops asked the wounded officer.
"Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?"
"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who
did this?" the other cop asked as he approached the young man.
Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the
dark. Just dropped his gun and ran."
George and the young man both looked puzzled at each other.
"That guy works here," the wounded cop continued.
"Yep," George said. "Just hired him this morning. Boy lost his
job."
The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher.
The young man leaned over the wounded cop and whispered,
"Why?"
Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas, boy. And you too, George,
and thanks for everything."
"Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there. That
ought to solve some of your problems." George went into the
back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box.
"Here you go. Something for the little woman. I don't think
Martha would mind. She said it would come in handy some day."
The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he
ever saw. "I can't take this," said the young man.
"It means something to you."
"And now it means something to you," replied George.
"I got my memories. That's all I need."
George reached into the box again. A toy airplane, a racing
car and a little metal truck appeared next. They were toys
that the oil company had left for him to sell. "Here's
something for that little man of yours."
The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150
that the old man had handed him earlier. "And what are you
supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that, too.
Count it as part of your first week's pay." George said.
"Now git home to your family."
The young man turned with tears streaming down his face.
"I'll be here in the morning for work, if that job offer is
still good."
"Nope. I'm closed Christmas day," George said. "See ya the
day after."
George turned around to find that the stranger had returned.
"Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"
"I have been here. I have always been here," said the stranger.
"You say you don't celebrate Christmas. Why?"
"Well, after my wife passed away I just couldn't see what all
the bother was. Puttin' up a tree and all seemed a waste of a
good pine tree. Bakin' cookies like I used to with Martha just
wasn't the same by myself and besides I was getting a little
chubby."
The stranger put his hand on George's shoulder. "But you do
celebrate the holiday, George. You gave me food and drink and
warmed me when I was cold and hungry. The woman with child
will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.
The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being
killed by terrorists. The young man who tried to rob you will
become a rich man and share his wealth with many people.
That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any
man."
George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. "And how
do you know all this?" asked the old man.
"Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of
thing. And when your days are done you will be with Martha
again." The stranger moved toward the door.
"If you will excuse me, George, I have to go now. I have to
go home where there is a big celebration planned."
George watched as the man's old leather jacket and his torn
pants turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill
the room.
"You see, George, it's My birthday. Merry Christmas."
Author Unknown
Borrowed from MountainWings.com
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/2359.htm
re: Man who shot car thief
(Published 12:01AM, September 6th, 2003)
Tears pooling in his eyes, Fredrick Tremayne Sims hugged his family goodbye Friday moments after being sentenced to 21 months in prison for killing a Tacoma teen who stole his car.
"I love you all," said Sims, a 33-year-old married father of four.
After the hearing, supporters of Sims and the teen, 15-year-old Carl Richard "C.J." James, clashed outside the Pierce County courthouse and deputies escorted Sims' family to their cars.
"We just want to get out of here," said Sims' wife, Adrianne.
Earlier, defense attorney, Ray Thoenig, argued for a lighter sentence for Sims but Superior Court Judge Stephanie Arend said the seriousness of the crime merited the 21-month sentence.
"That type of behavior cannot be promoted with an exceptional sentence" below the standard range of 21 to 27 months, Arend said.
With good behavior, Sims could get out seven months early, prosecutor Ed Murphy said.
Sims' family and James' grandparents declined to comment after the sentencing.
The night of Dec. 14, 2002, James stole Sims' 1985 Pontiac from outside his South End home. Sims grabbed a gun, got into another vehicle and chased after James, court documents state.
Sims fired three shots at the car. Two hit the rear end; the third shattered the back windshield and fatally struck James in the head.
In his statement to the court, Sims said he never wanted to hurt anyone.
"I deeply regret the outcome," he said. "I would gladly have given the young man a ride home if he needed one. I am so sorry, I am so miserable and I only wish I could undo the terrible tragedy that resulted."
Sims has said he acted in self-defense after James, a troubled teen who'd stolen cars before, swerved to hit Sims' vehicle during the chase.
Sims entered a modified guilty plea in July to second-degree manslaughter in James' death. He maintained his innocence but acknowledged that he'd most likely be convicted at trial.
Before the sentencing Sims' mother and wife told Arend they didn't believe he was a threat to society and that they needed him to be there for his family.
Thoenig said Sims should receive a lesser sentence because of four mitigating factors:
•That James had caused the incident.
•That Sims had committed the crime under duress, threat or compulsion.
•That others induced Sims to participate in the crime.
•That Sims' capacity to appreciate the wrongfulness of his conduct was significantly impaired.
Arend said she believed there was no legal basis to hand Sims a shorter sentence.
"I do not agree the use of deadly force was necessary," Arend said. "There was an effective alternative to the use of deadly force in this circumstance."
The shooting has taken a heavy emotional toll on the friends and families of James and Sims.
James' mother is devastated, said family friend Kim Love. She had to leave Friday's court hearing when Sims' family addressed the court.
The Sims family lost their home after the shooting and are living in protective housing, friend Marcia Bentz wrote in a letter to Arend.
After the sentencing, Love and a friend of Sims traded remarks about what had happened.
The friend said Sims has a big heart and James should have been home in bed, not stealing cars. Love said the teen shouldn't have paid with his life for the theft.
"There are laws for a reason and you have to follow the laws whether you like it or not," Love said later. "Whether he was a troubled kid or not, he was worth saving."
Stacey Mulick: 253-597-8268 stacey.mulick@mail.tribnet.com
http://www.tribnet.com/news/local/story/3855030p-3878989c.html
Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
Stolen post:
Found this over at The Lounge / Coffee Shop / Favorite Quotes (QUOTE) posted by "ONEBGG"
http://www.investorshub.com/boards/read_msg.asp?message_id=1966417
From Iraq & OT: "9-11 We Remember" Baker Co. IRAQ.
Note: I received this in my e-mail from our good buddy Pre', Thanks Pre!!!
This is a photo you will never see on the front page of a USA newspaper.
"Merry Christmas" to all of our troops in IRAQ and everywhere else!
DO NOT DELETE-PLEASE PASS ON-Message from Iraq
The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute To our fallen comrades. So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is By taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that "WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN" and are proud to serve our country."
Semper Fi
1stSgt Dave Jobe
...Gary
... Freedom Is An Ongoing & Everlasting Battle!
Twas The Day After Christmas
========================
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin' even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Robinson's, Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's.
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT.......
YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"
~Author Unknown~
(borrowed from http://www.mountainwings.com/ Prepare to Fly - Let MountainWings.com help lift YOU over the Mountains of Life. The World’s Largest Inspirational E-Mail. Free.)
Excel, The Pastor I sent it to claims that he just stands behind the pulpit and talks, that it is the Holy Spirit that actually delivers the message if the ears are willing to hear. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the same sermon can reach different hearts in different ways. (What is preached may not necessarily be exactly what is heard.) The "Rev", with his marvelous sense of humor, claims the reason the collection plate is passed before the sermon rather than after is in case the sermon bombs and nobody would pay for it.
On the light side, a quote:
Most sermons sound to me like commercials - but I can't make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
excel,
Thanks for the that perspective on sermons. It is being sent on to a Pastor friend of mine who has mentioned that people don't remember his sermons.
Christmas Lights
Christmas Lights
Thoughts To Ponder
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place..
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping"; now I just "chunky dunk."
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
(I think they multiply more the older we get).
And finally:
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
In my neck of the woods, there are a few law enforcement agencies that run unmarked cars. (I refer to them as the secret police...worked for Hitler) The cops recommend that if you doubt the authenticity of the vehicle trying to initiate a stop, call 911. The law enforcement dispatcher can then confirm the unmarked cars' validity. That, of course, assumes you have a cell phone with you.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
~Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.
~Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.
~Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949
Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first. ~Charles de Gaulle
Here's a source for the Bush "I believe" quote:
Transcript: President and First Lady at Roman Forum July 22, 2001
Bush comments on results of G-8 summit in Genoa.
http://www.usembassy.it/file2001_07/alia/a1072306.htm
Who started Christmas?
This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out
Christmas shopping with her two children; after many hours of
looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and
after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they
saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with
her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season
time of the year---overwhelming pressure to go to every party,
every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, get that
perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, make sure
we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making
sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in
the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids
in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she
couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole
Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."
From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet, calm voice
respond, "Don't worry. We already crucified him."
For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could
have heard a pin drop.
Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole
Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word.
If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.
(received via email.......Amen)
Young Republican
http://www.rooney.us/
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ~H.U. Westermayer
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ~H.U. Westermayer
Mergers
... for all of you with any money left.
In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2004:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
nativity scene banned in DC
The Supreme Court has ruled that there
cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this
Christmas. This isn't for any religious or
constitutional reason.
They simply have not been
able to find three wise men and a virgin in the
nation's capital.
There was no problem, however, in finding
enough asses to fill the stable.
The Ostrich
=========
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket
and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says,
"I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato
and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says,
"That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change
out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the
exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the
attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie
appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of
money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish
for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich
as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce,
the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers,
"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs
who agrees with everything I say."
(borrowed from http://www.mountainwings.com/, MountainWings is a FREE Daily E-Mail that makes you Laugh, Think, and just plain Feel Good about Life.)
Quick Thinkers
Don't mess with these ladies:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need
to see your ticket, not your stub."
Let's go for stupid:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her
family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get
any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Caught for speeding:
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped
for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting
for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Stuck under a bridge:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows
it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."
Drunk?
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with
one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're
obviously drunk".
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are
ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said,
"That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
Too Late:
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his
car parked and walked home. As he was walking
unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked
the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the
cop asked.
"My wife," said the man!
Psychological Test
This is an authentic psychological test.
It is a story about a girl:
While at the funeral of her mother, she met a man whom she did not know. She thought he was amazing, her dream guy, and she fell in love with him but never asked for his number and could not find him after the funeral. A few days later the girl killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you scroll down.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the sister's funeral.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took this test and answered it correctly.
If you didn't answer correctly, good for you!
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off
my e-mail list.....unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.
Origin of ice-cream cones
A SAD EVENT
It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please
join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack,
the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain
Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man
was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and
Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes
(Stolen from Excel's Coffee Shop (ECS)
http://www.investorshub.com/boards/read_msg.asp?message_id=1806293)
The Donut Master
==============
There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending college
where Brother Christianson taught seminary.
One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so
he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled
Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"
Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."
Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many pushups can you do?"
Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said.
"Do you think you could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."
"Do you think you could?" again asked Brother Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10?
I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work.
Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,"
Brother Christianson said.
Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."
Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front.
When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of
donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were
the extra fancy BIG kind with cream centers and frosting swirls.
Everyone was pretty excited. It was Friday, the last class of
the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.
Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked,
"Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would
you do ten pushups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"
Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten.
Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on
Cynthia's desk.
Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked,
"Joe, do you want a donut?"
Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do
ten pushups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups,
Joe got a donut.
And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for
every person before they got their donuts and down the second
aisle, until Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain
of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was
very popular and never lacking for female companionship.
When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"
Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."
Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."
Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would
you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"
Steve started to do ten pushups.
Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class,
my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't
want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He
just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much
effort to be getting up and down.
You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.
Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students
were beginning to get a little angry.
Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Jenny said, "No."
Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten
pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?"
Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.
By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were
all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to
really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for
each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the
floor beneath his face; his arms and brow were beginning to get
red because of the physical effort involved.
Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he
did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all
of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts.
So Robert began to watch Steve closely.
Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row.
During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat
along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro.
Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34
students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be
able to make it.
Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and
the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a
rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch
on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment,
"Well, they're your pushups. You can do them any way that you want."
And Bro. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come
in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"
Jason didn't know what was going on.
Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in
you will have to do ten pushups for him."
Steve said, "Yes, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said,
"Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now.
Jason, do you want a donut?"
"Yes."
"Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?"
Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort.
Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.
Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those
seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each
pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity.
Sweat was dropping off of his face, and by this time,
there was not a dry eye in the room.
The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very
popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last,
and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut? Linda said, very sadly,
"No, thank you."
Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups
so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"
Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.
Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan.
"Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, Bro. Christianson,
"Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?"
Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said,
"No, Steve has to do it alone.
I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone
has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.
When I decided to have a party this last day of class,
I looked at my grade book.
Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade.
Everyone else failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work.
Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up
he must do push ups. I told Steve that none of you could come
to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups.
He and I made a deal for your sakes.
Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?"
As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding
that he had accomplished all that was required of him,
having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him
and he fell to the floor.
Brother Christianson turned to the room and said.
"And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father,
'Into your hands I commend my spirit.'
With the understanding that He had done everything that was
required of Him, He collapsed on the cross and died. And like
some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk,
...uneaten."
~Art Nelson~
Click http://www.mountainwings.com/salvation.html if your donut is uneaten.
(borrowed from http://www.mountainwings.com/ , a free daily inspirational email)
Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip!.....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
The Perfect Husband
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He
sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks
around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest
of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast
is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order! and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"