Airline safety:






http://cagle.slate.msn.com/politicalcartoons/

Politics:

Viagra

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.




"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

AIR DISASTER: North Dakota's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central ND. North Dakota search and rescue workers have recovered 326 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.


Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first.

"Carry it in your wallet and refer to it often."

Not just refer to it, take action.

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance. ~Marcel Proust

Shoulda stayed "Home Alone"

Macaulay Culkin Arrested on Drug Charges

OKLAHOMA CITY - Former child star Macaulay Culkin was arrested on drug complaints during a routine traffic stop in Oklahoma City Friday afternoon, authorities said.


Culkin, best known for his role in the movie, "Home Alone," was taken into custody on complaints of possession of a controlled dangerous substance without a valid prescription and possession of marijuana, Oklahoma City police said.

Culkin was booked into the Oklahoma County Jail and was released after posting $4,000 bond, a jailer said.

About 17.3 grams of marijuana was confiscated from a vehicle in which Culkin, 24, of New York City, was a passenger, police allege.

Officers also found 16 milligrams of Xanax and 32 milligrams of Clonzebam, they alleged.

Culkin was in a vehicle driven by Brett M. Tabisel, 22, of New York City, who was stopped about 3:50 p.m. for driving 70 mph in a 60-mph speed zone and for making an improper lane change on Interstate 44 in northeast Oklahoma City, the report stated.

After checking Tabisel's records and giving him a verbal warning, Officer Chad Cook asked Tabisel if he could question him, and Tabisel consented, the report states.

Cook asked if there was anything illegal in the vehicle, and Tabisel gave consent for Cook to search the rental car, the report states.

After getting out of the vehicle with a dog, Culkin told the officer there was $3,000 in a bag on the floor of the car. Cook said he'd give Culkin the money to avoid any discrepancy. Culkin was asked to put a leash on the dog.

As they opened the bag together, Cook saw a clear baggie of what appeared to be marijuana, the report states.

Tabisel also said there was some prescription medication in the vehicle, the report said.

After being led back to a patrol car, Culkin allegedly pulled a clear baggie out of his pants pocket that contained white pills and other medication.

Culkin was handcuffed and put in the patrol car after giving the pills to Cook, the report states.

Additional marijuana was found rolled in a metal cigarette box, the report states.

In Los Angeles, Culkin's publicist, Michelle Bega, declined comment.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=501&e=1&u=/ap/culkin_arrest

Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. Receives CARB Level II Executive Order for its Particular Reactor'TM' Diesel Catalyst
Thursday September 16, 10:12 am ET

TELFORD, Pa.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Sept. 16, 2004--Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. (ESW) (OTCBB: ESWW - News) has received its first Level II California Air Resources Board (CARB) Executive Order for its proprietary advanced Diesel Catalyst branded "Particulate Reactor(TM)."

The California ARB has verified the ESW Particulate Reactor(TM) system. The verification covers specific diesel engine models from the 1991 through 1993 model years used in on-road applications operating on standard CARB diesel fuel. The Particulate Reactor(TM) system employs a catalyzed wire mesh substrate to achieve at least a 50 percent reduction in particulate matter emissions, qualifying it for Level II verification. Specific engine families and conditions for which the Particulate Reactor(TM) has been approved and may be found in the Executive Order which CARB has advised will be posted within 10 days on the ARB website.

With the success of obtaining this CARB Verification, ESW becomes the first catalytic substrate manufacturer and catalyst coating company in North America to verify a metallic wire mesh substrate based catalytic converter system as a passive stand alone Level II diesel retrofit replacement device. This verification was achieved while using standard CARB fuel found at local service stations. To date, no other catalyst manufacturer has received this status without the usage of secondary technologies.

This Executive Order is the first for a high performing advanced Diesel Oxidation Catalyst (DOC). Traditional DOC's have been verified at Level I Particulate Matter (PM) reductions (25% or greater). The increased performance provided by ESW's Particulate Reactor(TM) results from advanced coating technology and the torturous path gas flow created by the unique substrate design. The ESW substrate creates high catalytic surface area contact with the exhaust, which in turn provides Level II PM reductions (50% or greater).

As with all of ESW's catalyst substrates, the Particulate Reactor(TM) also has versatile design and packaging flexibility since it can be produced into a multitude of shapes and sizes while maintaining required catalyst volumes.

The ESW Particulate Reactor(TM) will be available through Fleetguard Emission Solutions (FES), the exclusive marketing and distribution partner of ESW. Mike Cross, Vice President of Fleetguard Exhaust Products commented, "We are excited to have the Particulate Reactor(TM) in our portfolio as the first of series of ESW products that we will be offering to the marketplace".

David J. Johnson, ESW's interim President and CEO remarked, "I am very excited to report what we believe to be an important milestone of the Company. The receipt of our first CARB Executive Order completes one chapter in the evolution of our Company while at the same time starting the next. With a Government recognized emission reduction technology and the marketing, sales and distribution power of our partners, we believe that we are poised to apply our catalyst technology into markets that require higher value products (Best Available Control Technology) with and without Ultra Low Sulfur Fuel. This milestone could not have been achieved without the solid work and determination of ESW and FES's management teams, catalyst engineers, certification specialists, emissions lab technicians and supporting staff."

Mr. Johnson further commented, "The scope of the CARB verification directly impacts customers in California, but it also impacts all 50 US states due to verification reciprocity between CARB and EPA. CARB verification is also broadly recognized in the international arena which may open opportunities for the product in several global markets. A follow up verification testing program is well underway to broaden the scope of the market application and fuel compatibility for the Particulate Reactor(TM) and is demonstrating excellent results."

About the California Air Resources Board (CARB)

The California Air Resources Board is a part of the California Environmental Protection Agency, an organization which reports directly to the Governor's Office in the Executive Branch of California State Government.

The Mission of the California Air Resources Board:

To promote and protect public health, welfare and ecological resources through the effective and efficient reduction of air pollutants while recognizing and considering the effects on the economy of the state.

For further information, please visit their website at: www.arb.ca.gov/homepage.htm

About Environmental Solutions Worldwide Inc.

With headquarters in Telford, Pennsylvania Environmental Solutions Worldwide is a publicly traded company engaged through its subsidiaries in the design, development, manufacture and sale of environmental technologies currently focused on the international automotive and transportation industries. ESW manufactures and markets a line of catalytic emission control products and catalytic conversion technologies for a multitude of applications.

For updated information, please visit the Company's Website at: www.cleanerfuture.com

Safe Harbor

This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 (The "Act"). In particular, when used in the preceding discussion, the words "pleased" "plan," "confident that," "believe," "expect," or "intend to," and similar conditional expressions are intended to identify forward looking statements within the meaning of the Act and are subject to the safe harbor created by the Act. Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties and actual results could differ materially from those expressed in any of the forward-looking statements. Such risks and uncertainties include, but are not limited to, market conditions, general acceptance of the Company's products and technologies, competitive factors, the ability to successfully complete additional financings and other risks described in the Company's SEC reports and filings.
Contact:

Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.
Investor Relations
1-905-850-9970
investor-relations@cleanerfuture.com


Source: Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.



http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/040916/165304_1.html

How to Stay Safe
==========

How to stay safe in the world today.

1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for
20% of all fatal accidents.

2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the
home.

3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all
accidents occur to pedestrians.

4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all
accidents involve these forms of transportation.

5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals.
Above all else, avoid hospitals.

You will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur
in worship services in church, and these are usually related to
previous physical disorders.

Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at
any given point in time is at church!

Bible study is safe too.
The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less.

FOR SAFETY'S SAKE - Attend church and Bible study.

IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!


http://www.mountainwings.com

Prepare to Fly - Let MountainWings.com help lift YOU over the Mountains of Life

Conga line of hurricanes hit Florida.

Good cartoonists' views of the storms.

Sunday cartoon:

Her First Golf Lesson


The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.

"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."


************************************************


The Honeymoon


A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food." "Tiger wouldn't do that!" She claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "What are you doing?" She asks. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to call room service to get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that." Again she claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a third time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole!"

Copycats? or "what an idea"

Columbia Energy's foray into wireless internet seems to be sorta following the lead of a rural electric co-op in SD. Northern Electric Cooperative created Northern Rural Cable TV Cooperative, Inc. (NRCTV) in 1988 - the nation's first rural cooperative "wireless cable" TV system.

Late last century, with the proliferation of satellite TV, they scaled back their TV lineup and started to use the spare MMDS to offer broadband wireless service. Today, $39.95 per month gives a user 400k and the top package for $99.95 gives 1200k. Seems to be a bit better price deal than Columbia Energy's.

http://www.nrctv.net/

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner.
One is a prostitute.
How can you tell which one is the prostitute?


Hold on.....





You're gonna love it...






It's the one with the little sticker that says:










I - DA - HO

Thoughts for the Day


People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 20 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. Receives CARB Exemption for its Enviro-Cat'TM' Gasoline Catalyst Products
Tuesday August 24, 8:45 am ET

TELFORD, Pa.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Aug. 24, 2004--Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc. (ESW) (OTCBB:ESWW - News) is pleased to announce the receipt of the first California Air Resources Board (CARB) Exemption Order for it's proprietary gasoline catalyst Enviro-Cat(TM) Series 8500. This Exemption covers over the road vehicle applications with engine sizes up to 4.0 liters and a gross vehicle weight of 3,750lbs (except for installation on OBD II equipped vehicles).

The catalyst durability and catalyst efficiency testing programs to achieve this Exemption Order were both performed by independent third party pre-approved testing laboratories. These included a recognized CARB emissions testing laboratory in California, as well as Delphi Automotive Systems, Catalyst Aging laboratory in Flint, Michigan. The Enviro-Cat(TM) Series 8500 catalytic converter exceeded well above the performance levels required by the regulations in order to receive this Exemption.

-0-

Minimum conversion efficiencies requirements for new aftermarket
catalytic converters and ESW's Enviro-Cat(TM) Series 8500 test
results:

Pollution Component TWC (% Efficiency)
------------------- ------------------
HC: Min. Requirement 70
ESW's Series 8500 84.2
CO: Min. Requirement 70
ESW's Series 8500 89.0
NOx: Min. Requirement 60
ESW's Series 8500 83.4


With the success of obtaining this CARB Exemption, ESW becomes the first catalytic substrate manufacturer and catalyst coating company in North America to verify a metallic wire mesh substrate based catalytic converter system as a gasoline retrofit replacement device. Prior to this Exemption, only two other substrate technologies were available for retrofit gasoline catalytic converters, ceramic honeycomb or metallic foil based units. Both of these technologies utilize conventional laminar flow characteristics whereas the proprietary Enviro-Cat(TM) Series 8500 utilizes a torturous path gas flow. The ESW substrate creates a high catalytic surface contact area which in turn provides significant reductions in Carbon Monoxide (CO), Hydrocarbons (HC) and Nitrogen Oxides (NOx). The Enviro-Cat(TM) substrate also has greater design and packaging flexibility with the ability to be produced into a multitude of shapes and sizes.

The receipt of this Exemption opens the door for potential sales into the replacement catalytic converter and retrofit market in California. In addition, CARB Exemption is a benchmark of validation recognized word-wide and has the potential to open the overseas gasoline catalyst market. According to a recent (i)MECA commissioned report, the current worldwide sales for the gasoline catalytic converter market are estimated to be in excess of $35 billion US on an annual basis.

David J. Johnson, ESW's interim President and CEO remarked, "I am very excited to report to the shareholders the achievement of this important Company milestone. The receipt of this first CARB Exemption Order culminates over five years of hard work and determination by ESW's management team, catalyst engineers and emissions lab technicians. The positive final test results derived from this verification program further validate the fundamental core technology of ESW's proprietary torturous path metallic wire mesh substrate and catalyst."

Mr. Johnson further commented, "With the issuance of the Exemption Order from CARB, this will enable ESW to submit the Company's Enviro-Cat(TM) Series 8500 information to the U.S. EPA according to the EPA guidelines for the sale and use of Aftermarket Catalytic Converters. The acceptance of this submittal by EPA will permit ESW to market throughout the demographic of all 50 States."
# (i) MECA Manufacturers of Emissions Controls Association www.meca.org

About Environmental Solutions Worldwide Inc.

With headquarters in Telford, Pennsylvania Environmental Solutions Worldwide is a publicly traded company engaged through its subsidiaries in the design, development, manufacture and sale of environmental technologies currently focused on the international automotive and transportation industries. ESW manufactures and markets a line of catalytic emission control products and catalytic conversion technologies for a multitude of applications. For updated information, please visit the Company's Web site at: www.cleanerfuture.com

Safe Harbor

This news release contains forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 (The "Act"). In particular, when used in the preceding discussion, the words "pleased" "plan," "confident that," "believe," "expect," or "intend to," and similar conditional expressions are intended to identify forward looking statements within the meaning of the Act and are subject to the safe harbor created by the Act. Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties and actual results could differ materially from those expressed in any of the forward-looking statements. Such risks and uncertainties include, but are not limited to, market conditions, general acceptance of the Company's products and technologies, competitive factors, the ability to successfully complete additional financings and other risks described in the Company's SEC reports and filings.
Contact:

Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.
Investor Relations, 905-850-9970
investor-relations@cleanerfuture.com


Source: Environmental Solutions Worldwide, Inc.

http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/040824/245265_1.html

I Speak Blonde...

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in
Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class
Section & sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks
to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she
paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the
back. The blonde replies:

"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston
and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and
tells the pilot and copilot that there is a blonde
bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy
and won't move back to her seat.

The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to
explain that because she only paid for Economy she
will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde
replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to
Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The copilot tells the pilot that he probably
should have the police waiting when they land to
arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle
this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He
goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she
says "Oh, I'm sorry," and she gets up and moves back
to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and
asked him what he said to make her move without any
fuss.



"I told her, FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON!!"

LOL
Reminds me of the guy who would hold his two iron in the air instead of seeking shelter when lightning storms were passing over the course. He'd proclaim, "not even God can hit a two iron."

Olympic Women's Wrestling

"No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Holiday Inn."

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is
a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.
They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my emails to the Holiday Inn!"

Most standard rooms have coffeemakers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV-all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day. Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends.

Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends. Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well.

If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, in a Holiday Inn you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same.

And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

Being perma-skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check this story out--and are happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate (we could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!).

See you at the Inn!

Church sign

Drove past a Congregational church today. Found the sign insightful.

"When you listen to God,
He hears you."

re: Golf Championship Board

#board-2442

Get all teams in by 11:00 AM EST August 12th.


(just adding a link)

Universal Ice Blast, Inc. Receives Latest Order From Japan
Wednesday August 11, 1:21 pm ET


KIRKLAND, WA--(MARKET WIRE)--Aug 11, 2004 -- Universal Ice Blast, Inc. (OTC BB:UIBI.OB - News) is pleased to announce the sale of its equipment to a Japanese company for use in testing a variety of applications pertinent to their market. The equipment consists of Ice Blast Machine Model CX91 with its newly developed ice handling components and also features new blast guns and nozzles, all designed to increase productivity for its clients.
ADVERTISEMENT


The CX-91 Cleaning System is a lightweight, ice blasting system designed for general cleaning purposes. The system instantly and continuously converts water into a thin layer of ice, and automatically breaks it into smaller ice crystals. Expelled from the unit's blast nozzle at 120 psi, these ice crystals provide superior, more-precise cleaning versus sandblasting, high pressure water blasting or other ice (Co2) cleaning systems.

After years of research and field-testing of its patented technology, Universal Ice Blast finds its technology suitable for lease to multiple industries in the U.S., Europe and more recently, Asia. CEO, Rory Clarke, remarked, "This is another sign of a growing, worldwide interest in our technology for industrial and automotive cleaning. With solid R & D supporting us, my daily 'to do list' consists primarily of two items -- grow revenues and improve technology."

In keeping with its corporate strategy, all systems built for any supplier are cash flow positive. The shipment is scheduled for delivery in the third quarter.

Certain details of the transaction cannot be disclosed due to a confidentiality agreement between the two companies.

About Universal Ice Blast, Inc.

Since 1995, Universal Ice Blast, Inc. has successfully developed and tested its patented Ice Blast Technology as a superior alternative for use in: Precision Cleaning (automated production cleaning/de-burring); Industrial Cleaning (fixed systems parts cleaning, petro-chemical and pulp and paper); and Environmental Cleaning (lead paint and asbestos abatement off steel bridges and building structures). The Company conducts field research with major clients and has strategic partnerships through which it leases its technology. Headquartered in Seattle, WA, the Company operates in U.S. markets and (via European partners) throughout Europe. Please visit the corporate website at www.iceblast.net.



Contact:
Contact:
Equitilink
877-788-1940



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source: Universal Ice Blast Inc.

American golfer
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a
big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the American golfer got his water bottle from the cart and
poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "Oh, I see. Well, ye got
me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answered in relief. "I don't
want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize. I really didn't
mean to hit you." And the golfer walked off.

"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun said to himself. "But it was fair
and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him. I'll give
him the three things I would want....a great golf game, all the money he
ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year went by (as it does in stories like this) and the same
American golfer returned to Ireland. On the same hole, he again hit a
bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun was there waiting for him.

"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy said. "I just
want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answered. "In fact, that's the first
bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm an internationally famous golfer now."
He added, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thankee. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And
tell me, how's yer money situation?"

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer stated. "I win fortunes in golf.
if I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I
didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"

The golfer blushed, turned his head away in embarrassment, and said
shyly, "It's OK."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did
a good job. How many times a day?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looked around then whispered,

"Once--sometimes twice a week."

"What??" responded the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or
twice a week?"

"Well, said the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest
in a small town!"

Obesity

Officer Delacruz appears to be more of a "peace officer" than a "law enforcement officer." Big difference. When I was growing up I encountered mostly "peace officers" and now I encounter mostly "revenue enhancement agents." I have suggested that the local police department change the slogan "to serve and protect" emblazoned on their patrol cars to "to observe and collect." It would be more accurate.

There are still many truly fine "peace officers" remaining on the various forces, but they seem to be an endangered species.

Having recently moved to town, Gladys Dunn decided the first Sunday,
she'd visit the church nearest to her new apartment.

She found herself in a pretty sanctuary, and as the service began, she
enjoyed the music offered by the choir.

But when the sermon began, it went on and on and on. In fact it was without
substance and not at all interesting. Glancing around, she noticed that
many in the congregation were nodding off, not even trying to stay awake.

Finally it was over, though, and people stood up for the final hymn.

After the service, to be social, she turned to the still sleepy looking
gentleman next to her, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm
Gladys Dunn."

The gentleman replied, "You and me both!"





borrowed from "Phil (Bullrider)" #msg-3590619

Universal Ice Blast Selects Todd Engineering as Exclusive Licensee for Canadian Markets
Thursday July 15, 1:28 pm ET

KIRKLAND, WA--(MARKET WIRE)--Jul 15, 2004 -- Universal Ice Blast, Inc. (OTC BB:UIBI.OB - News), a leading authority in ice blast technology, is pleased to announce the selection of Todd Engineering Ltd. of Ontario as its exclusive licensee in Canada. The decision is a part of the company's marketing strategy for Ice Blast technology and is in preparation of sales and leasing contracts anticipated later this year. While the Company continues to produce and develop new technologies in-house, this strategic partnership allows the Company to gain access to Todd's clients and provides Todd with a new product line on an exclusive basis.

Rory Clarke, CEO of Universal Ice Blast, Inc. said, "As a niche business they are very easy to work with and their lower overhead means they can deliver our ice blast deburring and cleaning systems at competitive prices to traditional high pressure water and brush deburring systems. Furthermore, they are known for delivering creative solutions for over 30 years to a variety of industries, which is part of the attraction. By licensing our technology to Todd we have a partner that will allow us to gain access to the Canadian automotive market and serve as a low cost builder for US clients."

"The needs of our customers have driven us to this technology; we are thrilled to have it," said Ken Schwencker, President, of Todd Engineering Ltd. "We have traditionally manufactured brush/water blast machines, which adversely affect the surface of the component and are not effective in removing deep burrs. The ice blast technology not only handles these problems, it has opened the door to other markets including metal and plastic deburring. We are already working with Magna (one of the most diversified automotive suppliers in the world) as well as other clients in Canada."

About Universal Ice Blast, Inc.

Since 1995, Universal Ice Blast, Inc. has developed patented Ice Blast Technology as a superior alternative for high pressure water and chemical cleaning systems. The Company conducts field research with major clients and has strategic partnerships through which it licenses its technology. Headquartered in Kirkland, WA, the Company operates in U.S. markets and (via European partners) throughout Europe. Please visit the corporate website at www.iceblast.net.

This release may contain forward-looking statements that involve risks and uncertainties. These statements may differ materially from actual future events or results. Forward-looking statements are inherently subject to risks and uncertainties, some of which cannot be predicted or quantified. Future events and actual results could differ materially from those set forth in, contemplated by, or underlying the forward-looking statements.


Contact:

Contact:
Equitilink
877-788-1940


Source: Universal Ice Blast, Inc.

http://biz.yahoo.com/iw/040715/069985.html

http://www.toddeng.com/

LOL

A Message from Elvis


http://mywebpages.comcast.net/jwwaller/elvis/

"Thus may the 4th of July, that glorious and ever memorable day, be celebrated through America, by the sons of freedom, from age to age till time shall be no more. Amen and Amen." —the Virginia Gazette, July 18th, 1777


Let the Fourth of July always be a reminder that here in this land, for the first time, it was decided that man is born with certain God-given rights; that government is only a convenience created and managed by the people, with no powers of its own except those voluntarily granted to it by the people. —Ronald Reagan

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~Author Unknown

But then again, the successfulness of a fishing outing isn't necessarily measured by the size of the catch.

LOL

I didn't see that punch line coming!

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. ~Steven Wright

In 1923, Who Was

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?



These men were considered some of the worlds most
successful of their days.

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we
know what ultimately became of them.



The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles
Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward
Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney,
was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger,
died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement,
shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore,
also committed suicide.


However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and
the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open,
was Gene Sarazen. What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The Moral:

Screw work.
Play golf !
======================================


(ripped off from Dallas Boy50 on "subs" board #msg-3440153 )

Just been there, done that.

A quarter per post, not a bad deal.

http://www.investorshub.com/boards/board.asp?board_id=413

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. ~Mohammed Ali

http://www.investorshub.com/boards/read_msg.asp?message_id=3425715

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. ~William Penn


Here's my post to help the fund drive.

God bless you, wtb

Job Evaulation

Bob, my executive programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

- Project Leader
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered
lines (1 3, 5, 7,..) for my true assessment of him.

From the "JAIL"
posted by "eamonnshute" #msg-3324689 #msg-3324691

from rock103.com

The camping trips of Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Harvey Firestone and naturalist John Burroughs, magnificently documented with hundreds of vintage photographs and maps. See these American historical giants ride horses, chop wood, shoot rifles, eat and sleep in tents beside a babbling brook. Discover the unusual friendships between these men within the natural setting of the American frontier — all in Norm Brauer's book, There To Breathe The Beauty.



Some photos available at http://normbrauer.com/main/ click "sample photos"

Awesome.

I wonder how long it took to teach the pooch.