Corner Bar (BAR)

[Suvorov]

Good post.

[The Original dpb5!]

I see that this board still has 60 boardmarks...

If you are one of them...

SAY SOMETHING! lol

[Sheezy]

Just the teaser please ! Gotta keep one eye on the stocks

[The Original dpb5!]

The "teaser" LI Iced Tea, or the KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR ASS one? lol

[Sheezy]

Who's tending bar here? You? I'll have an L.I.Ice tea please.

[The Original dpb5!]

Back in the early days of IHUB... if you go back to the beginning of this board... it was a "livlier place" at The Corner Bar.

Carolyn hasn't posted on IHUB for about 2 years now...

Maybe we can team up and get this place buzzing again, eh?

[Sheezy]

Thanx dpb ! People sure are quiet here. Not one hello !

[The Original dpb5!]

You are at The Corner Bar...

Pull up a stool...

Here's your water...

Hopefully others in the place will loosen up and say HI to ya!

WELCOME!

[Sheezy]

Hi,Where am I and how did I end up here? Its 3am,I woke up thirsty and somehow ended up at the Corner Bar. Just a water please I need to backtrack.

[The Original dpb5!]

Yes! Yes we can!

I'll drink to that! LOL

[Vexari]

"drink now, pay later" marketing strategy


derivatives made easy

Ted Tuna
Jan 18, 2010


Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit . She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit. By providing her customers' freedom from immediate payment, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi. Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons; but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since, Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations, she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes, and the eleven employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS, and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community. The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various BOND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and while losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations. Her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers.


can we open this bar back up now?

[The Original dpb5!]

Hi Carolyn,

Did you fall off the wagon?

LOL!

Dave

[Carolyn]

I think so!

How is everyone?

[The Original dpb5!]

This board still has 65 Boardmarks!

Did 64 of us join AA?

[BullNBear52]

Happy St Patrick's Day.

Some Guinness was spilled on the barroom floor
when the pub was shut for the night.
Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
and stood in the pale moonlight.
He lapped up the frothy brew from the floor,
then back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long you could hear him roar,
'Bring on the goddam cat!'

[The Original dpb5!]

What the hell!!!!

It's been a year since I put St. Patrick's Day here in the IBOX.

It's way too quiet on this board nowadays.

Any chance of reviving this board?

Dave

[BIG BALLER]

NICE!! DO YA GOT$ ANY KOOL~AID???

TIA!!!!

$$$*~§{;8^))>$$$

P€Å¢€!!!

[Carolyn]

I still think the same thing!

[Carolyn]

You got it! Free drinks!

[Carolyn]

That would be nice! Go right ahead!

[BullNBear52]

Good for you! Stop by here and I'll help you cram for tests over a cold one.

[timhyma]

Yep- I decided to become a professional student, lol.

[timhyma]

No- I was in Afghanistan. I already did the Iraq thing, back in the '90s, lol.

[The Original dpb5!]

Welcome home Timhyma!

Thanks so much for defending our freedoms!

My nephew is currently in IRAQ so I know firsthand that in spite of what the media reports, we have many citizens of the good ole USA ready, willing, and able to support and defend freedom worldwide.

Hey Carolyn..... give my buddy Timhyma a drink on me!

Dave

[The Original dpb5!]

I'm doing great!

Work work work.
Read IHUB.
Sleep.
Work work work.

LOL.

I was surprised to see ole friends chime in on here ... goes to show that the boardmark system on iHUB is still intact. I see that even Matt posted to ya here!

Perhaps it's time I update the IBOX here, eh?

Dave

[BullNBear52]

Now you're going to have to find a real job.

[Carolyn]

Seriously? You have been in Iraq? I hope you and all others know how much you/they are appreciated!

[timhyma]

I have not booked a place yet. Just recently made it home from Afghanistan. Now, retiring out of the Army <bg>.

[Carolyn]

Cool! That's over my birthday. Let me think about it. It would be a riot. I've met many SIers in Vegas before, and it has turned out well.

Where is everyone staying? Any arrangements for a get together? (I know where Bob will stay.)

[Carolyn]

Hi, Matt. I've been hanging out on SI a lot, when I'm in town. Lots going on here. How is everything?

[Carolyn]

Thank you? Hope all is well with you.

You know very well that this bar is open 24/7. Have fun!

[timhyma]

Put Las Vegas on your trip schedule in November:
http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/board.asp?board_id=2944

http://www.lasvegastradersexpo.com/

Would be great to meet you in person <bg>.

[Mattu]

Carolyn!!! Haven't seen you around in sooooo long!

[BullNBear52]

Well hello stranger. Hope all is well. What time does the bar open?

[Carolyn]

Hey there! Just been traveling and keeping busy. Got some trips upcoming next week, so will be out of touch again for awhile.

How are you doing?

[Specalculator1]

anytime, we'll have to wipe the dust off the bottle cause ya never know whats inside ..

[The Original dpb5!]

Thanks for accidentally finding this board!

Once upon a time, many lurked here.

Hey, Carolyn!

Can we serve this guy???

LOL,
Dave

[Specalculator1]

Just crusing, don't know how I wound up here..LOL

BEER's to ya !

[The Original dpb5!]

This board still shows 70 boardmarks!

Is anybody out there still???

[The Original dpb5!]

CAROLYN!

Where are ya ?????

[The Original dpb5!]

Is it true that this board is DEAD on IHUB?

Are there any plans for a REVIVAL of this board?

[Carolyn]

Yes, they are messy. Lasagne?

[Carolyn]

LOL! Still scratching you head?

[BullNBear52]

Happy St Patrick's Day ....

An Irishman moves into a tiny village in County Kerry, walks into the pub
and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but
serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
>
An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.
This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three
beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the
"Man Who Orders Three Beers."
>
Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the
town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always
order three beers?" "Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two
brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each
other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a
way of keeping up the family bond."
>
The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon
the "Man Who Orders Three Beers" became a local celebrity and source of pride to
the village, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.
Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender
pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he
orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one
of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to
offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know--the two beers and all....
>
The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear
that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have
decided to give up drinking for Lent."

[BullNBear52]

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest, as he walked up to O'Toole.

"Do you want to go to heaven?"

"No, I don't Father," O'Toole replied.

The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

[Green_cat]

hikkup.... hey, ralphy....hikupp are yah in here??

[BullNBear52]

Oops. That should have been menu. Spaghetti and meatballs are out.

[The Original dpb5!]

Schweeeetttt!

[Carolyn]

Ok, I have installed draft (draught) Guinness.

[Carolyn]

LOL! Well, okay.