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Still posting to "None"?? Oh, I get it, this is one of your hallucinations...sorry, I get your meds.
You get your threads mixed up?
From your prior experience in jail, do you remember if it's the Warden who's responsible for what goes on in the shower room? Any difference in the way the two Wardens 'supervise'?
Hey, not nice! Maybe he's out on the chain gang, or taking a shower, or sumptin'?
Is that when Sheriff Matt takes the chain gang out for freeway clean-up?
I know you have asked me that question already, but I can't prove it...Bob's search engine won't treat "r" or "u" as words.
Come to think of it, you are the only one I know that does; please do me a favor, and see where you posted that before?
AK
And to think I was going to accuse you of plagiarism...
AK
p.s. i.e. should be e.g.
Churak, that is just so corny.....
But you don't want to confuse any newbie inmates do you?
AK
p.s. Of course not that stormy Jim would notice, but what about that horny one?
Churak, an excellent post, but as usual, your information is out of date. Remember, Fred resigned...the new/old Warden is MATT.
AK
p.s. The Edit Window is still open so you can fix the error of your wheys.
Of course it does, but Bob won't do the programming to post HTML.
Oh, and please accept my apology, I was not try to infer that the survey was mine; I thought it obvious. Give me a second to do an edit on it.
In Edit: following is the text version from Churak's link because WE CAN'T POST IN HTML (got the hint, mgmt?)
You mean this survey?
=================================================================
V I S I T O R C O M M E N T C A R D
Vernal City Jail
-----------------------------------------------------------------
from michaelbluejay.com
Thank you for staying with us at the Vernal City Jail. Please take
a moment to fill out this visitor survey. Your comments will help
us to provide the best service possible to future inmates.
1. How would you rate your arresting officer on the following scale?
(Please check only one.)
o irritable o cruel
o unforgiving o relentless
o ill-tempered o unsportsmanlike
o abusive
2. Do you know the secret of why all the officers have mustaches?
o Yes o No
(Note: Answering YES will subject you to additional charges.)
3. I found the ink used to take my fingerprints to be:
o high-quality
o mysterious
o existential
o black
4. How would you rate your holding cell on:
Poor Fair Good Excellent
Cleanliness o o o o
Pleasing Smell o o o o
Decor o o o o
Color Scheme o o o o
Architectural
Creativity o o o o
Feng-Shui o o o o
5. I found the temperature in my cell to be:
o cold
o very cold
o very very cold
o testicle-numbing cold
a "For the love of God!"-type cold
o Arctic-like
o suitable for scientific investigation into Absolute Zero
6. I found my breakfast to be:
o gourmet-quality
o tasty
o nutritious, yet unimaginative
o cornflakes
7. Would being supplied with a clean blanket instead of one
reeking of foot odor improve your view of this facility?
o Yes o No
8. None of the following items are provided in visitors' cells
(as you learned during your visit here). At such time as the
State orders us to make improvements, it will be helpful for us
to know which missing features our visitors want most. Please
check the ONE item below that you would MOST prefer to have in
your cell.
o soap for the toilet sink
o hand towel for same
o a mirror
o a wall clock
o an outside window so it would be possible to know whether
it was day or night
o a toothbrush
o a light switch, so that absolute control of the lights is not
in the hands of a maniacal jailer
o a pillow
o a sheet for bedding
o a Pentium IV-class workstation with 256 megabytes of random
access memory, a 16-gigabyte hard disk drive, and a T-1
Internet connection
9. I hope that the corrections officers I dealt with are:
o promoted for performing above & beyond the call of duty.
o indicted for corruption and incompetence.
10. Which of the following better describes your future plans?
o I hope to be incarcerated in this facility again the next time
I am arrested in this state.
o I plan to be arrested elsewhere because I was dissatisfied with
this facility.
11. I would recommend this facility to a friend.
o Yes o No ©1998 michaelbluejay.com
You musta scared MM away...you know what they say about being careful what you ask for...
come again?
I'm relieved...I thought you were considering going short against the box.
ahh, so you are going to give MM a 'tip'?
you certainly wouldn't be a 'long'
There's a new trend of carrying water in a pail. But like any trend, some people prefer to bucket.
Churak, look up "instigation". It appears hasher wants you to throw out his post. (Tell me if I'm wrong here -- I'd ask Judge Fred, but he's brushing up on acronymy, getting ready to visit us again.)
AK
http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=instigation
(If the link doesn't work, it's YOU this time -- I checked it.)
Not true Fred -- hasher eats cat food (#msg-543799); Churak and I eat dog(gerel) when you serve it.
Thanks for visiting!
AK
I'm one big...Admin...
KKD have somethin' to do with that? <g>
AK
My apologies; thanks for clarifying. But ignoring your cheap shot <g>, did you find anything to amuse you on the site?
AK
Uhhh, Churak, the Warden/Sheriff is attempting to conduct serious business. If you didn't notice, there is a new inmate here. He's a writer, kinda like you <g>. I don't think Matt is in a fun mood tonight.
AK
Care to make a complete 'sentence'?
Hasher, spend some going through this site. You'll feel better. BTW, this stuff should go great with your cat food.
http://www.shmaltz.com/
AK
As well it should have been. Thought you might have been spending too much time with inmate Hurricane.
AK
Hash Man, who you posting to? You post to "None" and that's the response you'll get.
AK
You eat cats in Canada???
Churak, did you know that Bill Clinton and Saddam talked on the phone? Yup, it's true.
Read this:
Saddam Hussein called President Clinton and said, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole country,and on each house I saw a banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Mr. Clinton asked. Saddam replied,
"LONG LIVE SADDAM HUSSEIN."
Mr. Clinton responded, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner."
"What did the banners say?" Saddam asked.
"I don't know," replied President Clinton, "I can't read Hebrew."
No problemo -- he didn't vote for Bill.
AK
Churak, the Hash man is back, but he seems a bit addled; hope he wasn't smokin' any of the 'merchandise'.
AK
Churak, I'm relying on you.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS MEANT ONLY FOR CHURAK. PLEASE DO NOT READ IT. (iHub does not want chain letters made public.)
=============
Real Man's Chain Letter:
This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one doesn't cost anything and I think it's a great idea!
Just send a copy of this letter to five of your male friends who are equally tired and discontent.
Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.
When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.
At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom four were worth keeping,
REMEMBER this chain brings luck.
One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy playmate.
An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooter's waitress and a Hollywood super model.
You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!
One man broke the chain and got his wife back again.
Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below!
Bill Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Billie Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
B. Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
William Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
W. Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
W. Jeff Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
W. J. Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
W. Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
William J Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Willem Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Wilhelm Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Billy Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Will Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Mr. Hillary Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Mr. Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017
Churak, please get off your soap box. I have a serious question, and because of your experience with the Jail staff you are the one to ask. I think iHub has a policy about posting chain letters. Would posting one get me in trouble with Matt?
Thanks.
AK
p.s. I was thinking about posting it here, but I'd send it as a Reply to you; that way everyone would know it was for your eyes only. That would work, eh?
Coulda, woulda, shouda read it the first time it was posted to you. Notable quote:
Nothing in cyberspace lasts long.
--AKvetch
Glad that's over with. Look at it this way, you saved Judge Fred's court costs. Now we can get down to real business -- the Hash man back yet?
AK
I think the link only works when the prison library is open. Try it earlier in the day.
AK
Can't you remember anything? #msg-537229
Churak, this here Jail is a lonely place. The Sheriff is in Florida, and Judge Fred is truckin' somewhere. We got that feller who's a bit touched and plaintively keeps repeating the same message, but nobody hears him. And there's the hash man, but he seems to be out distributing at the moment. So, I guess it's up to us to resolve our disagreement, but maybe it's just a language problem, you know, in defining a word. (Didn't we have a former pres. who had trouble defining a common word?)
You sent me the following message (#msg-542275):
PLAGIARIST.........................................
http://ragingbull.lycos.com/mboard/boards.cgi?board=MEMI&read=500206
Once there was a king that ruled in a far away land. This particular king had a palace made of grass. One day the king was sitting on his throne and thought to himself,'I am king. I deserve a better throne than this.' So the king called the local throne maker and ordered him to make a better throne.
So the throne maker set to work and made the king the most beautiful throne ever. The king was very pleased, but he had a problem. He didn't have room for both thrones in his throneroom. The throne maker suggested that the king give the old throne to charity, but this king was too jealous and wouldn't have it. So he told the throne maker to just store the old throne in the attic.
Every year thereafter, the king would get a new throne and store the old one in the attic. But one day, after several years, while he was doing whatever it is a king does all day, the grass ceiling collapsed from the weight of the thrones in the attic, and the king was crushed and killed.
The moral of the story is: People in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones
===================
You claim I plagiarized the above story with my post below (#msg-541825):
In the Hawaiian islands during the 16th century, the form of government was a monarchy. The symbol for power was a very elegantly carved and ornate throne. The King was very fearful that the throne would be stolen, so every night he placed it in the rafters in his hut and would sleep underneath it. His thinking was that anyone entering to steal the throne would wake him.
This system proved to be very effective, but over the years the rafters weakened, and one night the throne came crashing down upon the King and sadly he was killed.
Thus was born the expression "People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
=============
These look like two entirely different stories to me, so I do not understand your claim of plagiarism. If you still believe you are correct I would appreciate an explanation; otherwise, I would appreciate an apology for your unfair characterization of my post. If neither of these alternatives work for you I will have to ask Matt to give you some special time with inmate Hurricane. Thanks for your cooperation.
AK
And to think I thought it was only because he'd been out in the sun too long...
Solitary must be getting to him. He's hallucinating...where's the Sheriff when you need him. Wonder if Koikaze walked off with the keys?