When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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Does anyone remember this photo of Susie that she posted a few years ago?
Do you remember the time you said that you were leaving RB and you would never post again?
If you got an extra virgin from Italy, would you please send her over to me? Thanks.
Do you remember the time you were depressed about something and needed a hug?
I did this pic almost 3 years ago. How time flies.
Yes, Tate. I remember it well:
You're praying for a miracle? My grandfather gave me a lot of good advice, some of which can be applied here to PCBM:
A. You can put pearls on swine, but it’s still a pig.
B. You can’t polish a turd.
Wanna feel sick? Just a reminder of the money we could've been making, had this not been a scam:
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/yhoo/story.asp?guid=%7BD8DD9435-203F-4910-868A-6AB797A0CDB5%7D&s...
Yeah, they both work together at "Shills R Us". Quietstorm is their boss.
I think we have a larry/lori screw-up. If it's true, he should be ashamed of himself.
I know. Here in NY, you have the same chance of getting shot, as a homeless-family sleeping on Ted Nugent's lawn.
You are correct again, sir. I think it was that Red Sox baseball-hat with the front-brim torn off, which doubled as a yarmulke.
As a matter of fact, I was in a taxi the other day and the driver was wearing a NY Yankees turban!
I don't know. Here in NYC, "cut" means "circumcised".
You are correct, sir. It's amazing how a simple hat can change a man from "buff" to "buffoon".
Hey, I think you look pretty good walking around in your half-shirt and golfing shorts. But, I'm not too keen on that baseball-hat that says, "Ask Me About My Prostate".
For a good, cheap laugh, try this behind someone's back at work. Check out the "Best Of" section:
http://www.stealthdisco.com/
I had an embarrassing situation a few weeks ago.
I was in a shoe-store, when I was approached by a salesman, a tall, middle-aged guy who looked like Morgan Freeman. He said he'd like to show me a new line of shoes that just came in and that I might like them.
I said OK and he brought me a pair of shoes that had a little zipper on the side, instead of shoe-laces. I tried them on and after looking at them in the mirror I said to him, "I don't think I like these shoes. They look a little "gay" to me, don't they?"
He shot me a dirty-look and lifted the cuff of his pants slightly. Pointing down at his feet, he said, "These are the same shoes that I'M wearing."
fung, you've got 3 years to find a new city to live in. When she gets down there, she'll spend every free moment going door-to-door, trying to find you.
Well fung, you've got 3 years to make up an excuse why you can't be there, so you'd better start working on it now.
Would you send me a pic of that, please? Thanks.
Dear Anonymous,
I was sorry to read that some of our articles did not meet up to your expectations.
As you know, this was our first issue and we are still in the process of refining our focus. We will try to cover topics which will appeal to the wide-range of alcoholics posting here.
For example, our article titled, "All Hail the Liquor Cabinet" may not be well-received by wino's or binge-drinkers.
But, our drunken Fairy-Tale titled, "Amstel and Gretel", I'm sure will be a hit amongst the beer-belly set.
As a matter of fact, we are doing a sequel to that "Vomiting" article titled, "The Art of Staggering".
Sir, we cannot be everything to everyone, but we will certainly try to improve the level of bathroom-reading, since our subscribers spend so much time with their head in the toilet-bowl.
Thanks for your valued input.
Drunkard Editor
I'm encouraged to see that iHub, inspired by the rise of guzzle-posting, has diversified into publishing:
Why is he complaining? This guy doesn't understand that if you ever find yourself eating with a spork, and you are not at KFC, take a good look around you; chances are, you’re in iHub JAIL!
Not to mention, that while he's been here, he's eaten three meals a day with said utensil and hung out with the likes of Sugar Butt, Hound Dog, Sploogie, Two-Stroke, Mr. Syph, “Pops #1” a.k.a. Bad Breath Bernard, Wildman, Joe Jizz, Pops #2, Scroto and Easy-E.
Why would anyone ever want to leave here?
Right now, I'm not at liberty to say. The twin-sisters might beat me with the "humorless cudgel" like a coked-up monkey on a snare-drum.
Neal, your pictorial input is certainly welcome on this board, which was created to "poke fun at our favorite stock and it's stuckholders".
But, if your humor consists merely of slandering other posters, not to mention advocating castration to company officers, these aggrieved parties may take it personally.
Next time, why not try a little irony or sarcasm? Perhaps, at the very least, some pithy bon-mots?
Besides, there are several long-time posters on this board (who shall remain nameless), who are very sensitive to any sort of invective targeting another poster. So sensitive are these posters (and I won't say who they are), that they would become severely angry if, for example, they caught you staring at their chests.
The first half of that movie is packed with good lines. It popularized some of my favorite terms such as "numb nuts" and "reacharound".
Anyone who runs is a VC. Anyone who stands still is a well-disciplined VC. Great movie!
After spending a few days in this Jail, they'll find him passed-out with a fistful of man-mousse.
Sox, I think he may be in here for awhile. But it'll be nice whenever he finally re-acclimates himself to life outside prison and stops trying to tip strippers with bundles of cigarettes and individually-wrapped snack cakes.
I guess it could also be called a "spontaneous orgy-of-one".
Was the cuss word a regular expletive? Or did it refer to a specific part of the human anatomy? If so, male or female anatomy? Or perhaps it was scatological?
Although this banter may sound frivolous to you, the quality and intensity of his brusk verbiage at this age, may impinge on his ability to deliver meaningful name-calling in the future.
You are correct, sir. Any reference to "at hand" in the Jailhouse, may be misinterpreted by another prisoner as an invitation for him to give you some "digital penile oscillation".
You are correct, ma'am. The study of Hooterology is a serious endeavor.
You are correct, sir. Hooters are a good thing. As a matter of fact, my last half-dozen Spank-O-lympics have been sponsored by them.
Here's something we all knew instinctively. Next time you get caught staring, show them this article and say you're just adding years to your life:
The Patriots for me.
me, me, me!
Now that I think about it, you're probably a Dolce & Gabbana girl.